Everybody lies.. I admit, i do lie.. But lying has taken its toll on me.. I made the biggest mistake by lying to somebody dear to me. Somebody that has been there for me even though he knew how dysfunctional my family is.. I made a HUGE mistake by lying to him, now i have to pay my price.. He seem so close but yet so distant.. I have a hard time moving on, but if us being strangers will make him happy, then i guess strangers we will be.. Yeah, i know i have to respect his decisions about him not wanting to have anything else to do with me.. but it's hard when you think about him the first thing you wake up every single morning and the last thing you think of everytime you go to sleep.. It really hard to move on, when my mom keeps talking about him.. Yah, my mom loves him but it's hard for me to tell my mom that we're no longer friends..
It's a big mistake on my part, and i dont expect him to forgive me so readily, but i dont want us to be cold towards each other. We may not be friends but i dont want us to be enemies either.. It's hard, it's really hard.. Especially, when he's moving on so smoothly and not caring about a single thing that happened.. I dont blame him though, i have to admit that the mistake is entirely my fault. Although i'm heartbroken, i have to keep it inside.. Yeah, it hurts but i deserve it..
If you're reading this, (you know who you are but i doubt you'll read it) I really want us to be friends again. You are my best friend, my confidante and my saviour. You were there for me every single time i have a problem. You dont complain even though i keep telling you the same stuffs over and over again. I made a mistake and i apologise a thousand times.. I know it will never be the same again, but it's hard to let you go.. The friendship means a lot to me.. Hell, you mean alot to me.. Even my mom says i'm stupid to have made the biggest mistake of my life.. My mom will never understand.. but she's right.. i am stupid.. I'm stupid for ever lying to you.. I'm stupid for ever playing you.. Now that i lost you, i admit.. You were the best thing that have ever happen to my life.. Even though it's only temporary, thank you for coming into my life. I dont regret a single second of my life when you were in it.. Thank you so much for being the best friend that i have ever had.. But now, i guess i have to wait.. Wait till the day comes when you accepts me back in your life.. Even if it takes forever.. Take care..
Yes people, i have learnt my mistake.. The hard way! I realise there's no such thing as a small lie.. All lies are a big deal. Never make the mistake that i did.. You'll never forgive yourself.. I will never forgive myself.. Never..
Now, all the dreams we had talked about..
Is afterall, just a dream
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