Give me NOVOCAINE

At freaking last!!! I just finished my exams.. Well, hopefully this is it cause honestly, i dont wanna take any supplementary papers.. It's kinda a waste of time.. You get what i mean? Now i think i have a 6 weeks holiday and i'm looking for a job.. Ha, i just told my friends that i'm thinking of giving blowjobs to get money.. Since people say do something that you're actually good at, so here i am! Do you think i should?? Haha.. Whatever..

Anywayz, as i said i finished my exams which i think it a big big big relief! Haha.. Yeah, i hate exams actually.. I like school, just not exams.. It's kinda sucky.. Ha.. Give me presentations and projects anytime.. I'll definitely pick those two things over exams.. Yeah yeah, i know it's for my own good, bla bla bla but sometimes the paper is just too hard.. Not because we didn't study or we're not that bright, but the paper is just too hard!! No, i'm not making excuses okay but it's true..

Anywayz, me and my friends went to Tampines West CC's McDonald during one of our exams.. The paper starts at 7PM mind you! PM!! not AM but PM!! and it's a 2 hour paper.. So yeah, we went to McD's at around 12 i think.. Well, the others met a bit earlier.. I think i reached at about 11+.. Ha.. And we studied like mad! The whole place was full of my lecture mates.. And some taking DFund 2.. Haha.. We had a lot of fun studying together actually.. It was weird at first cause some of us really dont talk to each other that much but yeah, the great thing about studying in huge groups is that the possibility of everyone not knowing how to do the same question is very very very slim.. We studied, had lunch at the same time.. Ha.. I just realised something.. When i'm stressed, i tend to drink alot.. Most specifically milk.. soya bean milk or vitasoy.. Haha, i think i'm addicted to it.. Well, back to the studies.. We studied until around 6 and walk back slowly to our school.. Sit outside the exam hall for a while.. And like 5 mins before the assembly, i actually had a panic attack.. It was so sudden you know, suddenly i became sweaty, my whole face turns red, i become light headed and i practically felt my stomach turned.. Like upside down, inside out turn.. And i bit my fingernails.. I never do that ever.. My friends and family can vouch for me.. I was like really nervous!! So, whatever.. When it was time to look at the paper for the first time, i stalled myself to calm down.. When i did, i opened the paper.. and it was okay i guess? I studied everything that is needed to be studied.. SO i just did my best.. I dont care if i only have a JUST PASS.. at least i did my best.. Ha.. Whatever..

Anywayz.. My friends have been wondering about Mikael.. What can i say? It's the same i guess.. I told you he loves blowing hot and cold air towards me.. But what can i do right? I'm trying not to think about him, if that's what everyone is thinking..  But honestly i cant.. Ha.. I practically think about him like everytime.. No, i'm not obsessed.. Just miss him.. Yeah, i admit it.. I really miss him but well, sometimes we have to accept the fact that life doesnt go the way we want it to be, that's why i think life sucks.. I guess i can forget about Mikael and me being close like last time.. Oh well, life goes on.. Yeah sure sometimes i wait for his calls but well, i find myself kinda stupid to be waiting for something that's not gonna come.. Ha.. Yeah whatever.. I really dont wanna feel like this about him.. I wish he could just take it all away but yeah, i still like him and there's nothing i can do..

"You know what Mikael, as mean as you may be to me.. I really did miss you and yeah, i do sometimes think about you.. But izzit all worth it?? Whatever it is, i hope you have a great and happy time with whatever you're doing now.. And yeah, good luck with ur new job and ur bike license.. Take care.. "

We're just like last time, only closer.. I HOPE

"Mikael, you want me to open up my feelings to you but since you havent called me, i'll write it in my blog, since now i know you read it sometime, i hope you don't mind k! When you call me, then i'll elaborate more.. Sorry handsome"

Well, yeah so the story goes like this.. Mikael called me one day and we talked as usual when suddenly he talked about my friendster blog.. It's kinda weird when he reacted so strongly about it cause he says he wants me to share my feelings with him, just like last time.. I was shocked by his reaction obviously, but there's a part in me that is rather pleased.. Well, at least he cares about me right? He does, right? I dunno.. But he's rather unpredictable, he can blow hot and cold like anytime, anyday..

So back to the story.. Like normal people do, i was curious why he reacted so strongly about the blog so i asked.. He said he wants us to be like last time, CLOSE.. Even though how hard he hated me, he said, it's hard to forget about me.. "Well Mikael, if you have told me this earlier, i wouldn't have wondered so much.." So yeah, if he would have told me about his feelings sooner, i'd totally understand.. But he didn't, so is it my fault?? So he asked me to share what i feel and elaborate more on what i had wrote in this blog..

So being as ignorant as i am and since i already promised him not to lie to him again, ha, i told him that i felt it wasn't necessary for me to tell him since he also didn't share his feelings with me..

I'm just so confused.. Was, still and will always be.. I thought him telling me about his feelings will subside my confusion but, it didn't.. It kinda arouses back my feelings for him..

"Well Mikael, here is another confession.."  Well here goes, I think i still like him.. I mean, i know i still like him cause all this while, i've just stopped the feelings from showing.. But he told me how he feels (although it's not that clear) and i guess, it kinda rekindles back about what i feel for him.. I've always cared about him, and will always.. It's just hard for me to tell him all this.. Maybe i'm scared? Well, of course i will right, it's like it's all not in my hand.. It's all in his, he can make this pleasant for both of us, and he can also take that feeling away from me.. I dont want that..

"Mikael, do you mean what you said when you say you wanna be close like last time and when you asked me about finding what we have back then? I'm glad if you do cause i really still like you.. But if it's just another one of your selfish reasons, then tell me, dont leave me out of your games cause right now, half of my heart belongs to you.."

And i'm starting to get an attraction..

Well, it's Valentines Day and you know wat that means.. My phone is officially one year old today.. Ha.. Nah, i'm sure there's gonna be mushy couples being lame on the streets right now.. Haha, i wish they break up.. After all the gifts of course.. Valentines Day is a great day to break up.. HA!

Why is there valentine's day anyway? You dont need one particular day to let someone know that you love them and it reminds single people that they don't have someone.. Is it really necessary?? Sheesh.. Stupid things people do for love.. Go figure.. Ha.. Whatever..

Wat does love means anywayz? Does it really exist..? I bet many of you people out there say yes.. But i don;t think they do... Saying I LOVE YOU is just an excuse to desribe the undescribable feelings that they're feeling.. I'm being so lame.. It's all about obligations dude.. Haha.. Yeah, so whatever..

Seriously girls, you dont need guys to be happy.. Money can make all your dreams come true.. Money is all you need in this world.. Not love.. Love can't buy you diamond rings girlfriend.. Think about it.. Toodles..

And you know i don't like the attention..

Well, what can i say.. Things are getting a bit awkward between me and Ryan.. Why you ask? Cause he likes me.. Well i like him too but it's impossible.. Well, for now at least.. It's for selfish reasons.. I know what kind of guy Ryan is and well, i dont wanna get hurt again.. Though it's tempting to say yes, i have to say no.. Ryan is the best thing that ever happen to me, i dont wanna screw that up and believe me, i will screw up, BIG TIME!! For now, we agree to remain as friends.. Well, we just dont seem like friends.. As all people say, we already look like a couple, only we're not..

I'm repeating myself cause it's funny i think.. It's funny that Ryan really like me.. I have to admit that i really like him too, but not now... "I love you too much Ry"

Stop hurting the innocent..

What's up with people nowadays?? Is war really the answer for everything?? Why can't those stupid disputes be solved with an intellectual game of chess?? Huh huh huh!! It's so stupid.. Think of the innocent you dumb asses!! Is there something really wrong up your head?? Think about it, is there ever gonna be a stop at this if everyone keep thinking of revenge?!?! Now, where is GOD when those innocent people need him?? If he is as powerful as you people say he is, make him stop all this..

Anywayz, projects and presentation are officially over.. So i definitely have time to study for my examinations.. I hope! My DFund sucks like hell..  It's so funny cause i think CKT is much more difficult but i scored more for CKT than DFund.. How weird is that?!?! Haha..

I've been thinking alot about this particular guy.. Let's call him Daniel.. He's a school mate.. and well, it's weird cause i dont like him and he's obviously not my typa guy.. I've been mentioning alot about my dream guy so i aint gonna repeat again.. Tee hee.. So, back to Daniel.. isnt it weird?? i dont like him but i keep thinking about him.. Haha, i dont wanna tell Ryan or he'll get jealous.. Haha.. "Love ya, Ry"..

Ryan.. It's funny that everyone thinks we're together cause we're not.. We're naturally very close so, i guess it's not weird that everyone thinks like that.. Anthony, stop asking plz k.. I'm gonna say this for the last time, RYAN AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER! Although it's a tempting thought.. He's hot lah, i won't deny.. He's got the firmest ass and the tightest abs.. Hehe.. And he's got amazing tattoos.. My favourite thing about him? His tongue peircing.. Yum, basically he's got good hands and good tongue.. Haha, i sound like a freaking pervert.. Sheesh.. K lah.. I wanna go study, love ya guys.. Muacks!!

Suddenly my life was so free..

I'll be having my exams in 2 weeks but i'm already stressed up.. So sucky with projects due next week and quizzes and lab test next week too.. it's so rushing, why do they have to leave it to the last minute.. Whatever..

Well, as i said, exam's coming.. Started studying and Ryan have been helping me destress.. Thanx but i feel like i'm using him.. He said he don't mind but i mean, he need his own time too right? Whatever it is, i ain't complaining.. Tee hee winks winks..

Anywayz, my mom left early for work yesterday so she asked me to cook and yeah so i did.. It's not as good as my mom's but my mom passed it.. So i guess it's nice..
And just now while i was bathing.. i have to clean the bathroom.. Scrubbed the floors and stuffs.. So fun, i love playing with water..Haha.. Okay.. i have nothing to write about so yeah, tekkerz.. I put new pictures in my profile so feel free to view it.. Toodles, muacks..