I'm loving angels instead..

One paper down, three more to go.. My brain's gonna explode one of these days.. Never felt THIS stress whenever i take exams.. But it's okay, I'm still gonna persevere until i get my first million.. Haha, but then again, i don't think it's gonna happen cause i tend to spend everytime i have money.. Bad me!! Haha, but thank my Daddy for that financial support! "Love you lots Daddy!"

The old auntie infront of my house is so noisy.. She keeps banging on the door and her iron wrought gate.. I'm not trying to be insensitive here but so what if she's old! She doesn't own the neighbourhood and for goodness sake, she's not the only person living in the block.. It's freaking stupid cause she keeps making noises and crying and stuffs.. It's IRRITATING!! Call me cruel or mean, but she suck.. I need to study for my exams, and it's bad enough that the government decided to do the Lift Upgrading Programme during my exam period and i have to listen to the stupid drilling and the sledgehammer on the wall, now i have to listen to that old hag cry and complain!?? Where's the justice in that!!?? But then again, i think she's  suffering from senile dementia, so whatever.. I'd better leave her alone.. Her temper is worse than a kid's!!

Tee hee, my uncle is so cute just now.. Haha, Uncle Jimmy is Violet's dad.. Violet's siblings and I grew up together.. We're like sisters! So Uncle Jimmy is also like a dad to me.. Haha, well he called me up just now and asked me if I've eaten.. That's so sweet, don't you think?? My family and Violet's family are like one big happy family.. No matter what problems faced our way, we always come out of the situation strong.. "Love you guys lots.. "
It's not a wonder when people think that Violet and me looked alike.. Somehow, i don't think so.. I don't know.. Maybe to people but not to us.. She's my age and we're super duper close.. To think that we used to fight about toys when we were young.. Haha, funny don't you think.. Haha, we have what each other wants.. Haha she wants my hair i think cause i have super straight hair and she has that wavy curly hair.. She hates her hair, but i think it's so much better than mine.. Yah, mine's easy to style but it's super stubborn, for hers, once you style it it's set! And i like it!! Haha.. Well yeah, she wants my hair but i want her eyes! She's got big round bright gorgeous eyes!! Haha, yes people I'm showing my jealousy out to the whole world!! Violet! I want your eyes!! Haha.. I think i know what Hazel wants! Haha it's our boobs!! "Haha, just joking sis! Don't get mad okay?" Well, that my sisters for you! Haha, we're a crazy bunch.. If you see us together, you know there's gonna be lots of laughs and jokes.. Haha, our life is full of drama and fun that we can have our own reality family show..

Oh by the way! I've got a new haircuttttttt.. And i love it, my mom isn't that thrilled about it but who cares!! Haha.. I told Angel that i cut it short and he freaked out.. Kinda cute haha.. Somehow he doesn't like me with short hair, but oh well.. Yah, anyway it's not short.. It's short layered at the top but i still kept my length.. Not only for Angel but also my parents.. If my dad finds out i cut my hair short, he's gonna skin me alive! Haha.. Anywayz, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY HAIR!! Haha..

Anyways, speaking of Angel.. I seriously wanna thank him for being so patient.. Seriously, i don't know how he can stand my temper.. I think I've been feeling super short tempered lately.. I don't even know why.. Haha, maybe it's menopause.. Do you think young people can get menopause?? Hmmz, i think I'm gonna do some research about it.. Haha.. Well back to Angel, he told me that most probably I'm feeling stressed.. Maybe he's right, but it's not an excuse to be so unreasonable.. I blow up at the slightest mistake or even to something he said.. So sometimes i do wonder, how.. HOW can he be so patient with me.. I make a bad girlfriend.. BooHoo! I'm unreasonable, bad tempered and has attitude problems!! "Thanx Angel for always being there.. Though sometimes i think I'm being so irritatingly distant, i just wanna tell you that i super duper care for you and I'm always missing you! But do let me know if i got over the line or become seemingly rude.. Do tell me cause sometimes i don't realize it.. Once again, thank you Angel.."

I just don't get it..

Guess what!! Friday's my first exam paper and I've been mugging like hell.. Don't even have time for personal alone moment with myself.. Hua hua, but i ain't complaining.. I love school..  Really really love school.. I think i just found my purpose in life, to be a good student.. Tee hee, k I'm talking crap! I know people, the stress is getting to me..

What is my purpose in life, seriously.. Haha, i just don't seem to know what to do with my life.. I'm still finding it though, in the mean time I'll just do what i do best and that's studying! Thinking back, i haven't really been living my life.. All i do now is for my parents.. You can say my family is my life but well, it's kinda lame, don't you think so? Haha.. I do have friends but we ain't that close anymore.. Yeah we're kinda busy with school and work last time too but we never fail to go out atleast twice a month.. Now! It's already hard to talk to them on the phone, even harder meeting them! Gotta make it a point to call them atleast once a week! Haha, i need to take the initiative since they wont.. "Belle, Sally I'm just joking k sisters! Don't take it to heart.. Tee hee, love you both so much!"

A friend of mine made a really good point.. She said never to reveal too much about your personal love life in this blog.. Yes, i made a grave mistake by revealing the "name" of the person.. Now everybody knows, dumb old me! Why didn't i think of that! "Thanx girl, for that advice.. You're so right!"
If only I'm close to any of his friends.. Haha.. But it's alright!!

The thing about my past relationships is that I'm ALWAYS the one wearing the pants.. For once, i want someone to grab me by the arm, put me in my place and take charge!! "Can you do that Angel [not real name!]? I know you tried but i always make it a point to overpower you, didn't i?" Seriously, it's not at all intentional.. I guess it's because i was forced to grow up so fast and I'm so used to taking care of myself that i think i don't need someone to take care of me.. I'm always taking care of people and for once, now i think i really would like someone to take care of me.. "Angel, thanks for being so patient! I don't know how you can stand my temper but i really so appreciate it.."

This heart will never trust again..

So, here i am once again.. Well, i get all my quiz results and it's okay i guess.. Exams in 2 weeks time and well, let's just say I'm in no mood to study..

I'm in a state of confusion right now.. All because of boys.. What the hell is wrong with me actually, i can't even trust myself.. So as from now, i decided to void myself from any types of feelings.. No, I'm not boycotting love or anything, just not now.. Not right now..

I have to say, I'm absolutely charmed by one and totally crushing on the other.. Yeah, I'm talking about two different person.. So how do i deal with it.. On one hand there's Tom (the guy i talked about on my previous post).. We share totally different beliefs, interest and what-not.. But here i am charmed by his personality.. The other hand, Nosferatu I'm totally feeling for.. We share somewhat similar beliefs, thoughts, interest and even share the same kinda fate..

So what do i do? I don't wanna hurt another by choosing the other.. I like Nosferatu, i really do and he told me how he feels for me.. My head just wouldn't wanna give in to my heart.. Past experiences with guys taught me to never trust them fully but my heart is starting to open up to him.. Relationships are not in the top of the list right now but i cant control my emotions.. I don't wanna hurt him by giving him the wrong signal or making him feel too hopeful.. The thing is, i do have feelings for him  but i don't wanna tell him, just yet.. I mean, I'm not even sure about it myself.. How do you know if you've fallen for someone.. For once, I'm actually quite stumped.. I thought i had my heart guarded and once again, it betrayed me..

I found you here, now please just stay for a while..

It's a lazy lazy weekend! Haha.. Nothing much to do except study and be lazy.. It's just the 14th day and I've already finished my 500 free smses.. Haha, what the hell did i do man!! I ain't complaining though but serves me right for not limiting my messages..

Well, where do i begin! Haha, I've finished my Java project! At last!! And guess what!! It works!! Haha.. Hmmz, well thanks to, of course, my cousin , Hazel who helped me with the IF-ElSE loop for the calculation.. Thanx goodness!! Well, modified alot the codes but thank goodness, nothing major except again, the formula.. Haha.. Did alot of varieties, first time we tried, the Gross Pay part totally sucked.. But with patience and perseverance, it's finally done!! "Wee Teck!! Haha, hand up with me on Thursday k! You scaredy cat!! Don't even know how to explain your freaking project.. Hua hua.. Serves you right for not doing it YOURSELF!! KK, Joking k.. Haha.. But Thursday we hand up together.. You explain first, then you tell me what the freaking teacher ask.. Then my turn k!? Thankx! Haha.."

At last! I've done my psychology common test! I studied the night before, slept at 1, woke up around 6 plus in the morning and continued studying.. I think for the first time, i really truly feel nervous about taking exam.. Well, this CDS is graded i think, and if i fail, it's gonna pull down my 3.2+ gpa.. I really don't want that.. If i fail this semester, I'm so gonna kill myself.. "Arynne! SO emo! Haha.." Well, you think it's the end of this psychology module and i can concentrate on my exams right?? WRONG!! Haha, i still have my psychology role play on the 16th August 2006, Wednesday! And then, only then, have i finished my elective! Well, it's okay really.. Since I'm the one who picked it without anyone forcing me to, i guess it's all my fault! Haha, but i like psychology.. I really do.. In fact, i LOVE psychology.. Well, the psychology exam was actually pretty easy cause there's totally no right or wrong answers, just as long as you can explain why you choose which theory, and of course if it makes sense then, okay, you're given that marks.. But, i was really nervous outside the LT but thanks to Uday, my psychology classmate and project group mate, i actually did calm down.. He totally told me to breathe, as i think i was having an anxiety attack! How convenient! Haha.. "Thanks Uday, for calming me down.. I think you saw how nervous i was as i was practically shaking!! Haha.. But thanks for reminding me HOW to breathe! Haha.."

Well, haha here goes.. I just found out that he read my Friendster blog.. I gotta give him a name.. Hmmz, let's name him Tom.. Haha, funny name but oh well! People, just to remind you! That all names have been changed to protect the identity of the innocent party! Haha except Uday and Wee Teck, who is my poly mates! Other than that, FAKE NAMES! Haha..

First of all, haha Mikael told me to stop writing about him in my Friendster blog.. Well duh! Haha, I've not been writing about him for so long, have i?! Whateverrr.. Haha.. Ryan, have been really busy.. Haha.. He's been working non-stop to save money.. He say he wanna continue with school.. "Best of luck cutie! You have my total support 100%!"

As i saying.. i just found out that Tom read my Friendster blog.. Haha, i didn't know! He told me that if i don't want people to read what i wrote in my blog, write in a personal diary with extra huge lock! What sarcasm! But never mind, still can take it! He also said he'll buy me a diary and a pen for my entries!! I feel like punching him really! Thank goodness for his charming-ness! Charming-ness, what a word! Hua hua.. Well, like i said, I'm totally charmed by him.. Haha he told me to explain to me why i find him so charming! Haha, i can't explain, really cause i myself don't know why.. So i said, "Think Hady Mirza!" Haha, and he was totally stumped! Now he knows how i feel.. He can't even explain why he thinks Hady is so charming! Hua hua.. Anywayz, talked to him last night.. "Missing you, Sweetie!! Arynne, seriously! You have to freaking stop it!! Haha.. What a dumb ass!" I don't know why actually.. We have totally different beliefs, taste, choice of songs and friends.. Well, he told me to open up.. But, I'm kinda skeptical about it.. Haha, so how do i tell him i have feelings for him!!?? I think he knows but girls, no matter how confident they are about themselves, they totally have some weird insecurities.. I wonder why.. Hmmz.. Haha but then again, maybe I'm deluding myself.. Who knows, he never had that kinda feelings for me.. But it's okay i guess.. Whatever it is, here's my confession.. "Tom, i really do like you.. It's up to you to accept it or not.. But i ain't gonna lie anymore.. Tekkerz now, Sweetie.."