We have something more, than i can explain..

This post is exceptionally for Ryan and Ryan only! If you're not Ryan, do not.. I repeat, DO NOT read it! 

Blah! I'm sure alot of you probably don't care, would ignore the first paragraph and read it anyway! Whatever! 

Anyways.. 

You know Ryan, I don't know what you're so upset about.. I mean, you already know that i have more guy friends than girl friends.. To get jealous about something so trivial is simply foolish and a waste of time! I already told you from the beginning that I'm still in contact with some of my ex boyfriends, including Alex, and you said you were cool with it.. So why are you making a big fuss just because a certain ex boyfriend called me at 3am or 4am in the morning?? 

Ryan, I'm yours.. You can count on that.. I know you love me and I know that you know that i love you too so please, even if you don't trust him, trust me.. 

It's stupid to be jealous or even have the slightest envy feeling towards any of my guy friends just because i pay that certain someone a little bit more attention than the others.. You wanna know why? Because I'm not their type.. I'm ugly and they only go for gorgeous looking girls.. 

Ryan, i don't look like those normal girls, skinny with big eyes, and a hot looking face to go with that hot looking body.. I'm not all that, so you being insecure is very much redundant! 

The one that needs to feel insecure is me.. Ryan, i have competitors, all wanting your attention.. Have you ever ask yourself about how i feel?? 

Let me tell you this..

Whenever we go out, i feel embarrassed, embarrassed FOR you! I know you deserve much better than what you have now.. You deserve so much more than a girl like me.. Let me tell you this, I'M the one who's supposed to feel jealous when you look at other girls.. 

You'll never get it! It's so hard to maintain that standard you set for me.. You want someone confident, someone with self-esteem, someone so sure of what she wants.. I can be all that Ryan, infact i AM all that, that's why you pick me in the first place.. 

But..

I'm still a girl Ryan, i need you to assure me that you love me.. I still need you to tell me that I'm beautiful just the way i am.. I want you to tell me, underneath all that fancy clothes, that hair and that eyeliner, I'm still the person you fall in love with all over again every single day.. 

I love you Ryan, you know i do.. I know you feel it too when i hug you tight at night and when i secretly peck you on the lips while you're sleeping.. Just please Ryan, have a little more faith in me..