I lost my final fight to disease, I feel that this is where it ends

So here's the thing, i think i did blogged about Mages eating the same food time and time again during lunch. And today, I'm supposed to blog about how she changed her lunch menu (from the normal egg, hashbrown and sausages to fishball noodle soup), but i totally forgotten to bring my USB cable so therefore no proof. Gah! There should be a picture accompanying this paragraph but pardon my absent-mindedness please. Thank you.

P/S: I'll try to update this part again once i get the pictures up! Tee hee!

[Update: 12th July 2008, 0002 hours]

As promised, prove of Mages' change of lunch menu! Tee hee!

[End of update!]

Anyhooooo, I've been having this bad lower abdominal pains so being the paranoid hypochondriac that i am, i begin googling my symptoms. I found this website (but can't remember the URL, sorry) that will list down all the possible diagnoses just by selecting your symptoms from a list.

Of course, when it falls into the hands of an illness-stricken emotional wreck like me, it turns out to be more of a liability instead. I mean yeah of course, it's cool and all to have the possible causes listed down for you but really, do you want it? Haha, i got scared really and just became more paranoid.

It's like, "Maybeee, just maybeeeee i could have that.. or that.. or that.. ahhh!"

I told Sally the reason why i keep dragging my making an appointment to the doctor is because I'm scared. I keep playing all the worse-case scenarios in my head and try to prepare myself for any kinda news but honestly, i don't think it's enough. Sure, it'll be fine if i have just some gastritis or something but what if it's something serious?

Sally told me to define this something serious. So i said "What if the doctor told me 'You might just as well enjoy what's left of your life.'?". As usual Sally thought i was exaggerating but can we know for sure? So she told me to just go with the flow.

I'm here now to tell everyone my decision. I think I'm not going to the doctor for a check up. Since Sally told me to go with the flow, i think I'd rather just let nature take its course.

If there's nothing wrong with me, the abdominal pains and lower back pains will eventually go off. If not, then nyeah, you know. We'll die eventually. Am i being a little too pessimistic? Haha sorry about that.

Oh i don't know. I know i should go but it's just that I'm a little scared. What if it's bad, you know? I want someone to be there for me to hug me and tell me that everything's gonna be fine (even if it's self-evidently not).

Anybody wanna accompany me? *pouts*

P/S: I know who i want to accompany me but he's wayyyyyyyyyy back in Michigan! Lol, k I'll shut up now! *innocent grin*