~blimey

Had fun present hunting with the girls, and buying things for the Hen's Night.

I still haven't found my dress. *sigh*

But either way, i had so much fun running around town with my girls. We got alot of things, but there are still some things we haven't got yet. It's okay, we have about a week.

OMG, 1 WEEK!

One week to Hen's Night. Can't wait. I'm gonna do my work as fast as i can so i can enjoy my party.

And then, the day after the party, i gotta clean up my room. WHY? Cause it's super messy. I don't want Baby to laugh at my corner clutter again whenever we have a cam date. Haha

Well, gotta go sleep. Back to Hell Hole tomorrow!

Toorah!

Hi

Hi people, i'm Arynne and i'm bored.

Hmm

Torn between two sides. One side are the people i can never live without, while the other, someone i truly care about and dearly love.

So which side do one choose?

How i wish i could just make both sides happy, but i know it's totally not possible. And right now, the decision will have to be on me.

I wish i knew the consequences of a decision before making one, that way, you won't make the wrong one. Either way, i wish me all the best.

Meeting girlfriends on Sunday, i hope it'll take my mind of this thing for the time being.

How creepy.

Modern day massacre in Philippines. Read here.

Really scares me that this type of thing still happens during this generation. Keeps me intrigue at what human being can do to each other.

See, i told you we shouldn't be afraid of ghosts. We, ourselves, are more than capable to doing harm.

Allesia Cage Pumps

*droooooolz*


with flash


without flash

I LOVE IT OH SO MUCH.

P/S: Don't worry people, Phil gave me permission to buy this shoe. Haha!

*wishes*

December, please come faster.

I'M THE WORSE GIRLFRIEND EVER!

I think i made Phil mad. *frown* I'm having the worse Monday ever and i took it out on him. Poor Boo. *sobs*


I'm sorry, Baby. *cries*

Under the Influence

I was re-reading my blog and i read the below post.

Woah, that's some deep shit right there. Honest ones too. Well, that will teach me not to blog at 5 in the morning while you're under the influence.

Of flu pills that is.

I got sick but i think I'm doing okay now. Just some swollen eyes. But anyhoo as they say, "Drunken words are sober thoughts".

Still love you all though, especially you Baby. *smiles*

There's always gonna be another mountain....

Ever since i was younger, i never understood when someone said, "He/She keeps me grounded". I never understood why someone needs someone else to make them be themselves, to make them stay sane.

Probably because i never really trusted anyone before. I've always depended on myself to keep me safe, to keep me on a low profile. I never needed anyone to keep me "grounded". Infact, i never needed anyone for anything.

It's no big secret that my parents got separated way before i even know what's going on, and the divorce finalize when i was 12. Yeah sob story, got over it. So whether i like it or not, i had to grow up, leaving behind a very fulfilling childhood.

I do love my childhood. I miss my childhood. I didn't have to care about anything, i didn't have to think about anything. School was just school, nothing really bothersome. I didn't even think about guys. All i wanted to be, was a kid. I miss those trouble-free times and just living in the moment.

Anyway, that's a different story.

As i was saying, i never really depended on anyone because i don't trust a lot of people. Linsy was there, yeah, but she was afterall, still a kid just like me. It took me a long time to trust Linsy's parents with my life cause they too have their own issues, which I'm not gonna bring up.

So basically, i only have myself.

I don't trust people cause i know how people can hurt you. I don't trust people cause i see how people can hurt you. It's damaging when a 12 year old girl have to go through that kind of trauma in life, and having choose to grow up and pick a path in life that they want to follow.

I don't know if I'm making any sense. But the reason i don't trust people is because they never gave me a reason to trust them. They never showed me enough actions for me to trust them. So i just trusted myself.

Even so, sometimes i don't even trust myself, cause i know I'm still young and it's hard to come up with a decision without having to go through experiences in life.

So i guess that's why I'm a little rebellious especially when it comes to restrictions and discipline, cause i never have to ask anyone about what i wanna do when i was younger. I did things that pleased me, even if it's wrong in any one's eyes.

I actually don't know where I'm going with this as it's such an impromptu post. So bear with me.

I know i have a loud and dominant personality, which i don't know is a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it could be a bad thing cause you don't care about what people think and you do things as you please, and sometimes it's not of your moral beliefs. I guess i could say, it could lead to very damaging lifestyle if i let myself go.

I know I'm jumping from one topic to another but it's all related somehow.

After a few years of being with Linsy's family, i guess i learn to accept people and learn to open up more. So trust naturally comes in. But it wasn't easy for me to trust Linsy, or people in general. I felt that somehow people will start to change and they'll leave.

But i can say that Linsy and her family really kept me rooted to the ground. Finally i understood what they meant when they say they needed someone to keep them sane. I'm not ashamed to say that I've made some bad choices in life, hung out with the wrong crowd, and sometimes even push away great people.

My trust issue is really bad. It comes to a point where i get paranoid cause i just can't trust them. I want to, but i can't. I don't know if you guys know what i mean when i said, i CAN'T.

People think it's normal but i don't think it is. I don't think it's normal not to fully trust someone who you've known for years and have always backed you up in every single thing you do. I don't think it's normal not to fully trust someone who have been there for you every step of the way. I don't think it's normal to let all these paranoia stop you from trusting people.

I don't know how to let go of my past, infact I'm not letting go. And i don't know if it's that holding on to the past that is making me feel this way about people.

I'm learning so hard to trust people, but everytime i do, they hurt me. Badly. So I'm thinking if it's a good thing not trusting people, that way you won't get. But i also realized that, by not trusting people, you're basically living an empty life.

I know i still have issues, and pretty messed up but I'm trying to have a "Live and let live" attitude. People always see me as being someone optimistic, and positive. I won't deny that i do like to see the glass as half full, cause to me, if you can't change it then there's no point worrying about it. But once in a while, i do get depressed, i do get sad, and those are the times when i know i need someone i can trust.

So yes, i would like to seriously thank Linsy and family for making me stay down to earth and not let my personality become too overpowering, which i know it can be. And my girls (Rehan, Sikin, Suhaili, Hannah), for always being there no matter how busy you are.

And to Phil. Baby, I'm sorry if it seems like i don't believe what you said sometimes. I'm sorry if i question alot of your words. I just need you to know that I'm trying my hardest to let go and forget about what you did. I do trust you, so you don't need to worry about that. I just need time to FULLY trust you again. Action speaks louder than words babe, and i know you're trying your hardest to prove to me that you can be trusted again. So i appreciate you making the effort. I do still love you, and i very much care about you, so let's just both put in the same amounts of effort into making this work, cause i know i can't make this work on my own.

Love you people to blitz and thanks for sticking around, no matter how much i tend to annoy the hell out of you. And friends, i hope this post explains why i don't open up myself fully sometimes.

Till then! Toorah.

The Body Shop skin care

So i'm thinking of trying out The Body Shop skin care Aloe Vera range.

I haven't used any of their skin care products at all. I've used their make up and their body lotions, body butters, and body scrubs. I love it without a doubt, it works wonder for my body.

So i'm kinda thinking, maybe i should try their skin care range. It's a tad expensive than my Garnier but i mean, if it works, why not right.

I just wanna ask if anyone have tried their skin care range before and if it's good. I have combination skin type. Dehydrated on the outside, but oily on the inside. So, does it suit with my type of skin?

Yeah, if anyone have ever tried it, do tell me. Toorah!

Jeeesh, what jackasses!

Have you read about the two NEA officers who asked for sexual favours? Well if you haven't, i'll link it here.

So much for Singapore being number three in the world with the least number of corruptions!  

Oh and have you read about the politician's wife who got away with just 16 years in jail when she assaulted her in-laws, stabbing to death the brother-in-law. Guess what? Her charges got lowered to just culpable homicide instead of murder. I'll link it here.

Yes, i know culpable homicide also carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment. But hey, how did she get 16 years? According to her psychiatrist, she has "depression". Hmm yeah. Who knows if it's real or not, but i mean, everytime a politician's family gets in trouble, things like this happen.Meh. 

If it was up to me, depression or not, murder is murder. Go kill yourself if you want, but hurting other people while you have your episodes, meh!

Another disgusting story, is where five men were charged for sexually assaulting a 17 year old girl. Link to the story here. Well, if i were the girl, i wouldn't have stayed knowing that there will be five guys in the house. Jeesh, and playing a drinking game? Yeah, not smart girlfriend!


Anyhoo, raping the girl was also a choice, and the guys pee pee should be burnt. Yeah people. Other than inserting a long sharp needle in their pee hole, those little head without brains should be burnt. Oh yeah, i'm making that capital punishment for sexual assaults.

Anyhoo, i better go back to work. Meeting the little precious later! See ya girlfriends!

How sweet.

Baby made it to the blog post again! Haha! But look at what he left me on FB! ~blimey!

(please click on image for bigger view)

Any ideas?

What should i wear for the Hen's Party night out with the girls? Any ideas?

If you all have some pictures or websites that have ideas of dresses, do tell me. I am super stuck on what to wear and it's in 3 weeks. I don't even know what shoes to wear. Maybe if i already have the shoes, i will know what dress to wear but.. GAH.

It's so hard being a girl sometimes. You need to look pretty, you need to look gorgeous. Not just for people, but for yourself as well. And girls should know what i mean when i say i LOVE looking pretty.

So yeah, if you all have any ideas for me. Just leave me a comment or something.

Love you all, talk to you laters! Toorah!

I don't know what I'm doing.

I wish you were here to wipe the tears away boo.

I can't forgive you if you hurt me again. I'm doing my best to be what you want me to be, all i ask of you is, you do the same for me.

I do love you and i know you feel the same way, but you need to know that you can't have more than you bargain for. I'm doing my best to make everything work, and all i need to know is that you're into this as much as i am.

If you need to be with somebody else, if you need to be with someone closer, you tell me. It's gonna hurt me but I'll let you go. I don't want to but if that's what you want, then tell me.

I don't know what to say, except that i feel betrayed.

How do you get to do that and demand me to stay faithful? How do you, who claims you love me and will never hurt me, get to break my heart? How do you, who wants to be my one and only, get to do that very thing you don't want me to do? How do you, who is disappointed with me when guys add me as a friend on Facebook, get to do that?

I care about you, babe. But right now, I'm not sure if you truly wanna be with me even when you say, even when you friend said, you do. I gave you a choice, baby. I asked you if this is what you really want, i wanted you to be sure. After you assure me that this is what you wanted, this is what you do?

I'm not gonna lie, I'm hurt. And i don't know what to do. I really do care about you, and i genuinely wanna try to make this relationship work. But please tell me you want the same thing, so that we won't be wasting each other's time.

You make me happy Phil, and i know i make you happy too. So i don't know. 

I said i forgive you babe, and I'm giving you the benefit of a doubt that you won't do the same thing again. All i ask of you is that you be honest with me.

Am i who you really need? Is our relationship what you really need?

 Things are already hard by us not being closer, so don't make it more harder for both, me and you. If it's my choice, I'd prefer you stop talking to her. But I'm not sure if that's how i should handle the situation. I'm not sure if i have the rights to even ask you to do that. 

Love you still boo. I just hope you show me you mean what you said.

Note to self: Crying for an hour or so will lead you to red and swollen eyes.  

Sigh

I'm not so sure anymore.......

Paranormal Activity

I want to watch Paranormal Activity with my girlfriends!

Lets go, babes!!!

I want to start a vlog, so can anyone get me that Canon Vixia, please? Baby, pleaseee?? Haha kidding.


Oh me oh my. 

Hmm

Needs a cheer up. Any Suggestions?

I know i tend to get so insecure, doesn't matter anymore

Today, Baby made me very happy.

Well atleast, there's no more asking what we are and just giving awkward silence to people asking us what we are to each other.

Do i make sense?

Either way, he makes me very happy.

Hmm, i don't know. Ask me again what's my relationship with Phil. *smiles*

Okay, haha I'm sorry. I'm just really glad it's not confusing anymore. The decision he made is not based on what he thinks i want, but it's also what he wants as well.

I find it really bizarre that we're both insecure about the same things but we never really talked about it, and we hide it from each other so well.

As for me, i just didn't want him to worry. I tend to make a big fuss out of little things and i don't want him to think that I'm making a big deal about it. It took me probably an hour of crying and another hour of whining to Christopher and another hour of composing a half page message for him to tell him how i feel.

As if that wasn't enough. I was procrastinating sending the message, but I'm glad i did. I'm glad he made everything better.

Baby, I'm sorry if this issue kept you up till 2 or 3 in the morning. I couldn't just sit and pretend that I'm not confused with what we were before you came to that decision. I do care about you, and i do care about us, so thank you for making everything better. Even though it's not perfect, you're right, we'll make it somehow.

He's been awesome for putting up with me and my tantrums for the past few months. I'm actually surprised he stayed. But yes, Phil and i already talked about that and thanks for loving me, boo.

On that note, I'm leaving you with a quote Phil said to me. "Don't be sorry for wanting me... wanting me to be loyal."

Wow, two posts of Phil back to back? Baby must be so proud!! Haha, I'm kidding. Okay, enough love struck posts (there's probably more of these coming but I'm just gonna pretend this is the last one), I'll go back to my "normal" blogging once i get the inspiration to blog.

Oh yah, I've deleted my Tagged account. So did Phil. So anyone wanna find me or us, just leave me a message here or follow me on Twitter. Also, my Facebook account, also can be found in my sidebar.

P/S: Go google Arynne Zainal *winks*
P/P/S: I love you more than you know.

Love you Baby

You always have the right words to say to make everything better, and for that, i thank you.

Love you loads baby.

At this point

Wishing everything were different.

P/S: Having an explosive headache. I hate it.

Blog idea

So, i have this blog idea i wanna do, but i need your help.

I wanna do an "Asian stereotype" post where i address some, if not all, stereotypes that Asians are associated with.

Female or male, it doesn't matter.

I want you all to leave me a comment, or tag post telling me a stereotype of you heard or known of being said about Asians.

Can you all help me with that?

At the same time, i shall research this topic and I'll get back to you when i get enough information.

Thanks lovelies and have a nice day!

US Army Base Massacre

If you all haven't heard of the story, I'll link it here.

Not only did they risk their lives to be deployed to war-stricken countries, but they indeed did risk their lives too, in their own homeland.

Muslim shooter was the Army psychiatrist. Well, he might have his reasons for shooting, but i don't think he should resolve his problems by going on a shooting rampage.

Hey, we might never know the real story. But one thing's for sure, he's giving all Muslims a bad name.

My thoughts and prayers goes out to the victims of the massacre, and condolences to the friends and families.

DO IT FAGGOT!

I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM

Round-Up-For-Charity Donation Drive 2009

Hey everyone! 

I'm just here to tell you all that Mascara-Page is doing a Donation Drive for World Vision Singapore. 

You can buy her products and round UP your purchases to the nearest dollar and she'll use that extra change you gave to this charity. 

Not a fan of make up? Well for all you humanitarians, she has this donation tokens where you can purchase instead. 

So feeling philanthropic this Christmas? Hop on to Mascara-Page (click on name for link) and read for further details.


Remember, it's a nice feeling to take, but it's an even greater feeling to give. *smiles*

Mascara-Page's Round-Up-For-Charity Donation Drive 2009

Bruises are sexay.

I have 2 sets of bruises on my knee. Super sexy. Haha


Well, i fell twice at the Spooktacular Haunted House. Gee, aggressive ghosts they have. Haha, but thank goodness i didn't lose my voice. I'm born to scream, baby! Haha


THAT LAST SENTENCE SCREAMS INNUENDO.


Anyway, as if those small bruises isn't enough. Linsy pushed me and i fell, yet again, on the same knee.

She jokingly pushed me down. I was talking to one of my colleagues so i wasn't aware she was gonna push me. I lost balance and fell hitting my knee on the pavement.

So anyway, enjoy the pictures!

I might die of hypothermia

RIDICULOUS TEMPERATURE IN THE OFFICE.

My fingers are frozen. My body is shivering and my teeth are chattering. Having my desk situated under the air  vent doesn't help the situation AT ALL.

HELP