Day 30- Who are you?

Who am i?

That's a good question, isn't it? No matter how well you think you know yourself, you will definitely surprise yourself with the things you can do or whatever else.

First thing's first, I am the daughter of Zainal and Maria. I am the eldest of two, i have a younger brother who is two years younger than me. My parents divorced when i was 12, so basically i just have to start growing up. I love my childhood though, i adore every single minute of it.

So no regrets.

I graduated with a diploma in mechatronics engineering and i was working as a fresh graduate in a shipmanagement company in the finance department for one and a half years before going into the library customer service sector.

What can i say about myself?

I would like to think that i am an honest person, loyal and caring. I try to live by that everyday.

I really do not like liars, or people who lie just to avoid problems. I know people say that the truth hurts, but i REALLY do not like being lied to. Even if i trust you, and then i caught you lying to me, i'd stop trusting you.

I don't give people another chance when they're caught lying or cheating.

I really do not like people who cheat. My father didn't cheat, my uncle didn't cheat. I have seen so many couples who have went through all ups and downs and still love each other every day. I have seen that happening around me that i cannot understand why people have the heart to cheat on their partners.

As cliche as it sounds, if my boyfriend thinks that he likes other girls or his feelings for me have changed, i would prefer for him to let me go.

I don't care if it hurts, i just don't want to find out that he actually cheated on me. Not only would i feel insulted, but my faith in guys, relationship and even soul mate would be gone. FOREVER. Okay, exaggerating but you know what i mean.

What else?

I would die for my parents. I am not stingy when it comes to the people i care about. If i have extra money, and if they need my help, i would definitely help. I would try to buy each of them presents as much as i can.

I have an immense irrational fear of gaining weight. It's really not the fear of being fat, it's the gaining of weight. Wait, pretty much the same right? Haha the thing is, even when i lose a lot of weight, i'd still feel fearful. I feel guilty when i eat, and sometimes i don't even eat. I like the feeling of having an empty stomach so sometimes i starve myself.

I like being in a serious and monogamous relationship, having someone there for me, but i won't die without one. I am happy with myself so, yeah.

I have trouble trusting people, especially those who are really nice to me. I know people think it's normal, so yeah, whatever you say. It is really hard for me and i don't even know why i'm afraid. The trust issues ruined a lot of relationship for me. Those good ones anyway, cause i tend to push them away.

I honestly don't know what started it but, i find it hard to really believe what people say. Not many people can tolerate that, or not many people would actually like to help me with that. They get too tired of me pushing them away, so they leave.

The stupid thing is, when guys treat me badly, i stay.

I just want to have a guy that won't lie to me or cheat on me, you know. Like, just one guy that would actually stick with me even though i can be a major biatch sometimes. Someone who can see past my flaws and insecurities, and would just be there to help me deal with my issues.

Yeah.

I guess if you all wanna know a bit more about me, just read my blog. I am pretty much an open book. If you wanna know something about me that you cannot find in the blog, then yeah, you can ask me.

If by any chance any psychologists or psychiatrists that are reading this post, if you know what's wrong with me, feel free to leave a message.

Have a nice day!

I've done 105 out of the 132 stupid things

Level 1

(x) Smoked A Cigarette

( ) Smoked A Cigar

(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex

(x) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 3

Level 2

(x) Am/Been In Love

(x) Been Dumped

(x) Shoplifted

(x) Been Fired

(x) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 8

Level 3 

(x) Had A Crush On An older Person 

(x) Skipped School 

(  ) Slept With A Co-worker

(x) Seen Someone/Something Die 

SO FAR: 11

Level 4

(x) Had/Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends

(x) Been To Paris

( ) Been To Spain 

(x) Been On A Plane

( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 14

Level 5

(x) Eaten Sushi 

(x) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook

(x) Been in a Mosh Pit 

SO FAR: 17

Level 6

( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship

(x) Taken Pain Killers

(x) Love/Loved Someone Who You Cant Have

(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By

() Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 20

Level 7

(x) Had A Tea Party 

(x) Flown A Kite

(x) Built A Sand Castle

() Gone mudding

(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 24

Level 8

(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of pillows

() Gone Sledging

(x) Cheated While Playing A Game

(x) Been Lonely 

(x) Fallen Asleep At Work/School 

SO FAR: 28

Level 9

(x) Watched The Sun Set

(x) Felt An Earthquake

( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 30

Level 10

(x) Been Tickled

() Been Robbed/Vandalized

(x) Been cheated on

(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 33

Level 11

(x) Won A Contest

( ) Been Suspended From School

(x) Had Detention

(x) Been In A Car/Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 36

Level 12

(  ) Had/Have Braces

(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night

(x) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 38

Level 13

(x) Hated The Way You Look

() Witnessed A Crime

(x) Pole Danced

(x) Questioned Your Heart

(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 42 

Level 14

(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud

(x) Been Lost

(x) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World

(x) Swam In The Ocean

(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 47

Level 15

(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep  

(x) Played Cops And Robbers 

(x) Recently Colored With Crayons/Colored Pencils/Markers

(x) Sang Karaoke

(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 52

Level 16

(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't

(x) Made a Prank Phone Call 

(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose

(x) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 56

Level 17

() Written A Letter To Santa Claus

(x) Watched The Sun Set/Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About

(x) Blown Bubbles

(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere  

SO FAR: 59

Level 18

() Crashed A Party

() Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People 

(x) Gone Rollerskating/Blading

(x) Had A Wish Come True

(  ) Been Humped By A Monkey 

SO FAR: 61

Level 19

(x) Worn Pearls

() Jumped Off A Bridge

(x) Swore at the teacher, in front of them 

(  ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 63

Level 20

(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube

(x) Kissed A Fish 

(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes

(x) Ate On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 67 

Level 21

(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs

(x) Done/Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel

(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours

(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR:71 

Level 22

() Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off the Tree

(x) Climbed A Tree

(x) Had/Been In A Tree House.

() Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 73 

Level 23

(x) Believed In Ghosts

(x) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes 

() Gone Streaking

(x) Visited Jail 

SO FAR: 76 

Level 24

(x) Played Chicken

(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on 

(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger

() Broken A Bone 

(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 80

Level 25

(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later

() Made A Porn Video/Got asked to make one  

(x) Caught A Butterfly

(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried

(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 84 

Level 26

(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone

(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You

(x) Cheated On A Test

(x) Forgotten Someone's Name

(x) French Braided Someones Hair 

() Gone Skinny Dipping

() Been Kicked Out Of Your House

(x) Tried to hurt yourself

SO FAR: 90 

Level 27

(x) Rode A Roller Coaster

(x) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling.

(x) Had A Cavity 

(x) Black-Mailed Someone (just for fun)

(x) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 95 

Level 28

(x) Been Used 

(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs 

(x) Licked A Cat

(x) Bitten Someone

(x) Licked Someone

 SO FAR: 100 

Level 29

() Been shot at/or at gunpoint

() Had sex in the rain

(x) Flattened someone's tires

(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on

() Got five dollars or less worth of gas

 TOTAL:105 

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

I learned that the person you care for the most will also hurt you the most. They may also do not care about how you feel or the situation they put you in.

I also learned that customer service is a really fun sector to work in. Who said working in the library is boring? You have to deal with different types of patrons, with different needs and different moods everyday. Every hour and even every minute.

I learned that i have much more patience towards people than i thought i had. Believe me, when you are having a bad day, and your patron is also having a bad day, you have to be the bigger person and try to appease the one you're serving.

I thought i really had to bend my back so far back to really make my customers happy with the service i provide, since i have little or no patience at all with friends and family, but i guess it comes naturally. I don't even curse them in my mind or anything. I really do genuinely like serving people.

Who would have thought, huh? I definitely didn't.

I am also learning how to trust people outside my comfort circle. It's a slow process, for sure, but i guess trying won't be so bad. It's definitely scary. The intensity of the fear is beyond something i can comprehend. We'll see, yeah?

Other than that, yeah, i'm just learning about myself more and more each day. The people around me, the friends i have.

That's about it really, so everyone have a nice day!

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

2010

2011

How have i changed? Like physically? I don't know. I think i'm still the same.

Well, i smile more though. Which i think is a good thing. I am genuinely happy with my life. 

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Well, at first i was just doing it for fun.

Then, i stopped for a while cause i was feeling very tired from blogging and i was feeling a little bit depressed before cause i didn't have a job.

The thing is, i like blogging, a lot. Most of the time, i know what to write about and other times, i just get lazy.

Mostly it's cause it i feel like it's a good way for people to get to know me better, well if they want to. It's fun too, anyways. So yeah.

Have a nice day lovelies!

Day 26- What you think about your friends

I think they're awesome cause they think i'm awesome.

Haha, i'm kidding.

Those are some of the few people i can genuinely trust. They're great, they don't judge, well unless it's to laugh at people. Haha

One thing i really like about them is that, they are so very honest. I like honest people. They also know that i don't mean to hurt them but i am just really honest with my opinion so, they're okay with my bluntness.

They also let me be myself. They are the most genuine bunch of people i have ever met.

Love you girls to pieces.

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Nothing special.

A book, a notebook, and like 4 pens.

I don't know why i have that many pens in my bag. I always thought i lost one of them and then i'd put a new one in, then i'd find the other one. Haha, yeah.

What else do i have?

Make up bag, phone, purse, coin pouch. Another pouch for some female items. Haha

Oh yeah, receipts. Lots of ATM receipts. What else?

Sweets. I have to have some sweets.

That's about it really. Sometimes, i have another pair of shoes. Perfume and an umbrella.