Somewhere life is good, things go as they should

I have bruises and scratches on my leg. My left wrist feels like it's being ripped out of my arm and it burns like fuck. It's not moving as well right now and I'm trying to type out this blog with just my right hand.

Gah, you people are probably thinking what happened to me. There's nothing to worry about, I'm okay. I just fell off the roof and i tried to break my fall with my hands so i wouldn't land on my face. And then i heard a loud crack.

Lol, did i just say fell off the roof? I didn't mean straight to the first floor by the way. Was walking on the ledge of the roof and i lost my balance. Aren't i lucky to fall on the roof floor instead! I won't complain if i really did fall over.

The balloon trick totally didn't work, well for my case anyway. Alistair should know what I'm talking about, but for the rest of you. Don't bother asking, I'm not gonna say.

I like going to the rooftop. It's peaceful, quiet and of course, very high.

These few nights, i finally realized why i love going up there so much.

You know the feeling of freedom? When you stand on the edge of the roof ledge, looking up with your eyes closed. You just let the win take over your mind, your body and your soul. You feel as if your problems are being lifted and you can actually see your problems drifting away with the wind. You feel free, as if you've been reborn.

Of course, that freedom will be savagely taken away from you once you open your eyes and making your way back home. And unfortunately for me, I'm not even clumsy enough to lose my footing while I'm on it.

Hmmz, maybe i should stand in closer towards the edge. What do you think? I'm just waiting for someone to push me over the edge cause i know i wouldn't have the courage to jump off on my own accord. Yeah, I'm a coward that way. Whatever

Being at home and having nothing to look forward to in the morning is way depressing than having My Chemical Romance singing to the song Helena. Like seriously, I'd rather listen to the guys in the lab scream and shout to each other while playing LAN games. Calling each other Herpes, Zipper and Your Prick.

Seriously, that's how bored i am during holidays. Not to mention, I'm also broke. Loser.

I feel lonely. Empty is more appropriate right now.

There's really no one that i can truly depend on. Family? Ha, it was never there. Sure i have a dad, a mom and a brother but neither are there enough to care about what's going on. School? It's stressing the fuck out of me and certain schoolmates are pissing me off! Friends? Yeah, i have friends. Love them to bits infact. But think about it, reality check, i can't expect them to be there for me 24/7. They have their own lives to lead, own problems to take care of.

I've got no money, no job, no status, no boyfriend. There's absolutely nothing for me to feel proud of.

I just feel chocked. No, not on the Rob problem alone. Just that I've been keeping every little problems to myself thinking that I'm programmed to take care of my own problems, of myself.

Everything just escalates into one big gigantic unsolvable matter and it's eating on my energy and my will bit by bit.

Everyone expects something from me, some even depended on me but sometimes i feel like there's just too much of it for me to handle alone. There are times when i feel like giving up but thinking about all the people that i will disappoint with that one careless and selfish decision, i just suck it up and give all that i have even if it means going over my breaking point.

I hate seeing my loved ones disappointed. It doesn't matter if I'm the one who got hurt, if I'm the one being let down. I don't care, just not the ones i care about.

Just trying to live up to that expectations they have of me wears me out completely to a point of me feeling like I'm breaking down. To a point where i don't see a reason for me to live anymore, to the extend of begging this God you all speak of to not let me wake up in the morning.

I've lost all faith, and hope and the will to carry on cause i feel like everything and everyone is attacking me all at once.

I'm just really tired. Too tired.

Have you ever wished you can just run away and start anew?

One day i wanna wake up and be at a place where no one knows who i am. Where my past don't matter.

Wake up and forget everything about my past and start afresh.

White picket fences with flower gardens ever blooming, never withering. Perfect skies, green meadows and the bluest ocean ever seen. Where everyone knows everybody and conflicts are non-existent. A place where everyone cares for one another, love and protect each other.

Just a peaceful, serene, almost surreal place. Perfect, just perfect.

That place is probably just in my dreams. Oh well.

If that fails, i just lose 40kg and weigh less than Nicole Richie's pinky finger. Get as much tattoos as my scrawny, bony frame can carry. Get double d breast implants, a nose job, fangs and grey contact lenses. Join the circus and be their main attraction for the freakshow.

Hey either way, I'll still stay a loser. Bye!

A poem by Alistair

Ok my dear Elvira this is for you,
A poem that took a long time to brew,
I know lately you’ve been feeling blue,
So writing this is the least I can do.

I want to say just get over him,
Stop loving him on a whim,
Stop making your life so terribly grim,
Go find a hunk that goes to the gym!

But I know when you have that feeling,
When it’s more than just a meager fling,
When you remember how your heart used to sing,
And now all you feel is a lingering sting...

I’m afraid that it’s about time,
That you wash off all this grime,
To hurt you should truly be a crime,
For I have yet to meet someone more sublime.

So come talk, sing and dance!
Don’t dismiss him at first glance,
Give that cute guy another chance!
It’s time to start a new romance!

Be free! Be happy! Be my Arynne!
Show the world that happy grin!
Because I know beneath that skin,
A beautiful person lies within.

Thanx Alistair. You made my day. You really did. Thank you for always being there for me. I know you have problems on your own, but just know that I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. Thanx again for the poem, it made me smile. *HUGZ*

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

I tried to move on.

I tried to forget about him.

But i can't.

I JUST CAN'T....

All i can say is, i hope he's happy with her *smiles*

I really do.

...

FEEDZ, DELETE THE VIDEO!!

And how can you call MattSanders ugly!!

MattSanders is NOT UGLY okay!

ALLYSA, TELL YOUR FREAKING BOYFRIEND TO STOP WANKING AT THE VIDEO!!

Haha, just kidding!

...

HE'S HAPPY.

I'LL BE OKAY. I PROMISE.

*smiles*

I can tell you want me too and you know i'm right

Gah! Here's the truth!

I'm not okay that he's with her. I'm not okay that he told me he still have feelings for me. I'm not okay when he said he like her.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

Why did i tell him that I'm gonna be fine when I'm not? Why did i tell him i want him to forget about me? Why the fucking hell did i tell him to be with her?

SHE DON'T DESERVE HIM, I DO!

Haha, i sound like a sore loser, but I'm not.

I didn't steal him away from her.

Rob said he'll stay, to never leave me. He said he'll take care of me, protect me.  HE PROMISED.

I guess i started pushing him away when he told me that it's not possible between us, since I'm in Singapore and he's in Michigan.

I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE DISTANCE.

He told me, "TOGETHER FOREVER, NEVER APART, ONLY BY DISTANCE, NEVER IN HEART"

I remember all that because somewhere in me, within me, knows that he meant what he said.

I don't see the logic in him telling me he cares about me and then turn around and date other girls.

Yes, I'm nobody to him but what the hell was i thinking when i told him to date other girls when i clearly know that i want him.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

NO ROB, I'M NOT GONNA BE OKAY EVEN THOUGH I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT I'LL GET OVER IT. YOU'RE A GREAT GUY, THAT'S WHY I FELL FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, NO MATTER HOW FUCKED UP YOU THINK YOU ARE.

NO ROB, I'M NOT OKAY THAT YOU'RE WITH HER. I'M NOT HAPPY, WHY SHOULD I BE? I'M NOT THE ONE WHO GETS THE GUY I WANT. I DON'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID "BE WITH HAU, FORGET ABOUT ME".

NO ROB, DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I'LL GET OVER YOU. DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.

This sucks.

He make me smile, blush and all giggly. WHY THE HELL DID I LET HIM GO?

He make me happy. WHY THE HELL DID I LET HIM GO?

ROB, I REJECTED OTHER GUYS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT. WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT?!

I REJECTED OTHER GUYS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I THINK ABOUT EVERYDAY. WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT?!

I know all that don't mean anything to you, but it does to me.

You told me you'll wait, why didn't you?

WHAT DOES HAU HAVE THAT I DON'T? HOW IS SHE BETTER THAN ME? DO YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER MORE THAN ME?

TELL ME IF SHE MAKES YOU HAPPIER THAN I DID, i doubt it Rob.

I TRUSTED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU'RE A MAN OF YOUR WORD. PROVE IT TO ME.

Bring back the smile you took away when you left. I want you Rob, and it hurts me just to watch you leave.

Will you leave her if i want you to?

You think love is to pray, i'm sorry i don't pray that way

Yeap yeap, shut up people! Rob has a girlfriend, yeah boo hoo, cried the whole night! But it's okay. Though I'm not really jaded but i guess I'm getting used to the heartbreaks and disappointments.

No, i don't blame him. It's not his fault. I understand and respect his decision a hundred percent. I keep pushing him away and i guess he's getting sick and tired of that. I just wished, you know, he told me that he's stopped having feelings for me. Sure I'll be happy for him if you guys want me to, yaadaa yaadaa.. But will i really? I'm not that gracious kids! Haha, i wanted him. Hell, i still do but oh well, what's done is done i guess.

Anyhooo, enough about that! Thanx Ryan, Feedz and Allysa for dragging me out of the house at 2:30 in the morning! Oh, and Allysa is the best lesbian partner I've ever had (LOL, I WAS FORCED TO SAY THAT!)

Lisa is a hobo says: Tell everyone that I'm your best lesbian partner ever! Hihihihi
11:21:21I say: YOU FREAKAZOID!!
11:21:26Lisa is a hobo: Helo, i wasn't the one who stripped to Tainted Love!
11:21:45I say: haha, delete the stupid video!!

Yeah, I'll get on with that later! Haha.

Well basically Ryan knew i was sad and he with the other two clowns call me so late at night or so early in the morning (whichever way you wanna see it, whatever!) and made me panic like a fuck ass!

So my Beast and the Harlot ringtone played on my phone (that ringtone is for the Freakazoids of course *Ryan, Feedz, Allysa, Anthony, bla bla bla*)

Ryan: (i didn't even get to say Mushi Mushi! Haha) HURRY! ALLYSA IS PUKING MAD! BRING SOME WATER DOWNSTAIRS NOW!! RIGHT NOWWW (at the background i can hear Feedz being drama and Allysa puking her eyes out, seriously! Haha)

Me, being the good friend that i am, rushed downstairs. The stupid thing was, Ryan wouldn't even give me a few minutes to wear my bra and pants! I grabbed my keys and MattSanders and rushed down the stairs! (I live on the 3rd floor so yeah!)

So tell me, in what right mind of mine did i ever think of grabbing MattSanders instead of my mobile phone in the face of emergency! Haha. And for goodness sake! I was in my boyshorts and tank top! It was a cold night, imagine me without bra.. No wait, scratch that! Don't imagine!

Yeah so i was downstairs, and saw Allysa lying in the middle of the car park. Damn good actress this girl! Haha, she wasn't really puking. They just want me out of the house.

So we drove by McDonald's 24 hours drive-through and Ryan bought me Double Cheeseburger and Strawberry Milkshake! Love you bestfriend! *smiless*

Yeah so, Feedz suddenly 'conveniently' remembered he ran out of cigarettes! Bloody ass, DO NOT MAKE ME BUY THOSE FILTHY THINGS AGAIN!!

He used to work at this 7-11 store that we were at and begged me to buy the thing for him. (LOL, during his days there, stocks of cigarettes mysteriously disappeared.)

Arynne: Next, green.
Cashier: IC please.
Arynne: Are you kidding me? I'm not gonna show you my IC (in actual fact, i didn't even bring it with me! haha)
Cashier: Store rules.
Arynne: WHAT THE FUCK, DO I LOOK FUCKING 12 TO YOU!?
Cashier: No, but it's the rules.
Arynne: Listen here buddy. I'm having a bad day, a guy i wanted just went into a relationship, i haven't eaten for 18 hours (of course, haha a little exaggeration won't hurt) and I'm only 2 seconds away from poking your fucking eyes out if you look at my boobs again. Are you gonna sell me that filthy stuff or not?!
Cashier: (look at me and look back to take the pack of cigarettes)
Arynne: Thank you! (paid and leave)

Believe me, that wasn't the first time. I mean come one! I'm 21! I'm even legally allowed to buy alcohol! For goodness sake, what is wrong with all the people in 7-11!

Enough about that, we went to Sembawang Park to chill. I like that place, it's peaceful. Lots of pretty kittens as well! Yes, i really mean kitten and cats, nothing sexual! Haha

So we were sitting and talking about stupid stuff. When this stupid Feedz started adding Listerine to my Ginger Beer!

Yes people, i too was wondering where the hell he got that Listerine from! Haha, blame Ryan! Seriously! WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE LISTERINE IN YOUR CAR?! Haha, he's so.. CLEAN!

Yeah so whatever, it's just Listerine you know, it won't kill me or anything. But lol, yeahhhh, BIG mistake! EVER! Haha, it's even worse than the high i got from eating 100 mentos in less than half an hour! Haha

It's the kind of not-really-sober-but-i-kinda-know-what-I'm-doing high. It's like you know you're in control of yourself, but all you wanna do is let loose and be retarded kinda thing. Or not. Whatever it is, it feels good! Haha

Arynne: (i seriously thought that i was staring at the sky) The moon is so huge and bright today.
Allysa: WHAT THE?? (look up) THAT'S THE FUCKING LAMP POST DUMB ASS!! (laughed so hard with Ryan and Feedz)

I think they saw how loopy i was, seriously, i can't even walk straight! Haha. But it's kinda fun you know, just that i won't do it again! Haha

Went to crash at Allysa's house and started doing stupid thing. They played the guitar while i screamo-ed myself to death. Well, not really to death but my blood vessel nearly burst (well, the blood vessel part isn't really true either, haha!). Gah, I'm so gonna have bad sore throat for this whole week!

That always happens when i scream!

And then we started webcamming with Feedz' bandmates! Haha at like 4 in the morning! What were we thinking?! And then Tainted Love came on her playlist!

Weyhoooooo, sorry but haha Listerine mix with Ginger Beer + Marilyn Manson's Tainted Love = a VERY horny Arynne! Haha. For goodness sake, where the hell did i learn how to pole dance and strip like that?! Haha. And when i said pole dance, i didn't really mean pole! Haha, i was grinding whoever was standing near me. Gah Arynne!

Note to self: Stay away from Listerine.

You see, i shouldn't have taken that appetite curbing pill. It gives me mad mood swings you see!

I was laughing and having fun one minute, and the other minute i was crouching in a foetal position hugging MattSanders so tightly and crying my eyes out.

It was a horrible sight i tell you! Haha, the stupid clowns was laughing at me and mocking at my misery.

Feedz said i cry like a fucking broken water pipe! Haha, thanx eh buddy! You're the best! NOTT *rolls eyes* Haha. Still love you guys though *grinss*

Allysa was a freaking dumb ass, i know she takes good pictures, but at the extent of my emotions?! Lol, she even made me hold a 'I MISS YOU' sign. Bloody slutwhore! Just kidding!

Delete it okay, all of it! THE VIDEOS AND THE PICTURES!

Haha, i went home at around 5 plus in the morning, slept at 6 and woke up at 7!

Thanx Ryan, Feedz and Allysa for that crazy experience!

Let me end with something random.

I hate the SHUFFLE function on mp3 and mp4 players!!

Oh, and the girl at the bus stop was HOT!

ALISTAIR, IS YOUR DAD GONNA PAY FOR MY TRIP TO CANADA???

K bye! Haha

Did you pull me up just to push me down again

ARYNNE IS FUCKING CONVINCED THAT ONLY MATTSANDERS WILL NEVER BREAK HER HEART.

RYANNNNNNNNNN, WHERE ARE YOU BESTFRIEND???? I NEED YOUUUUUU

ARYNNE APOLOGIZE TO ALL THE GUYS THAT SHE HAVE REJECTED FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS.

ARYNNE APOLOGIZE TO ALL READERS FOR ALL THE MUSHY BLOGPOSTS SHE POSTED. HAHA.

THE FUCKING REASON WHY SHE'S NOT SMILING IN THE FUCKING PHOTOGRAPH IS BECAUSE NOBODY THINK HER HEART IS WORTH BEING TAKEN CARE OF.

AHHH FUCK THIS,

ARYNNE NEEDS HER DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER!

HAHA

We won't make promises that we can't keep.

~ Find me a guy that will love me whole-heartedly for the rest of my life-

~ Find me a love that is true, almost pure-

~ Find me a reason to relive the faith that i have lost-

~ Find me a hand that will reach out to grab me when i fall-

~ Find me a guy that will give me the best years of my life-

AND

I will show you a smile that is ever so sincere.

I will show you a support that will never fall.

I will show you a love that will never die.

Find me all that, and i will show you a truly happy Arynne.

Hey i'm not in right now, so do your thing *beep*

Haha, I'm just kidding!

Okay, instead of beating around the bush, I'm gonna go straight to the point.

You know what i hate the most? Well other than stupid people of course. Haha

It's when someone call you and leave you missed calls or you're too busy to pick up, and when you already have time to call back, you realized that the number is private!

Oh my goodness, i hate that so much! I'm sure you do too!

The worst thing is, the person never call back or leave you a message indication who they are. Haha, yeah super irritating, don't you think so?

The past few days, I've been getting overseas phone calls and yeah, you guessed it! It's a private number!

So how do i know it's overseas? Cause there's a difference! For local private calls, they'll indicate (Private Number) and for overseas private calls, they'll indicate (Private Calls).

Yeah! The cute thing is, that person was already at the voice mail. Instead of leaving a "Hey, this is bla bla bla. Call me back" message, i heard him or her hang up the phone. Haha so if you are the person, please do leave me a message next time okay!

Oh, and the person with phone number +0085231xxxx53, erm, could you please step forward? Haha, i tried calling you back but it wouldn't go through.

But Arun told me that it's probably from Hong Kong. Oh well *shrugs*

So yeah, next time if any of you call me and i did not pick up the call, leave me a voice message or text message okay! And if it's important, just keep calling! Haha yes, that goes for all you local friends too!

Love ya!

PFFFTTT

CAN'T WAIT FOR MAY!!!!

If I am another waste of everything you dreamed of, I will let you down

You asked me the other time if i knew how deep your feelings are for me. Now i wanna ask you the same thing, do you know how deep my feelings are for you? *answer this question before reading*

Yes sometimes i do or say things that seems like i don't care or not interested. I pretended not to notice the hints you've been giving me and brush you off whenever you start with the serious talks (well, you can't really blame me for that cause you know why!).

The fact still stands that i do like you. A lot. Probably a little too much.

I apologize for blowing up on you that Sunday (well, it was Saturday at your side).

It's just that, i don't realize how much effect you have on me until that day, and we haven't even met! It's just scary for me cause i keep thinking about you every single day and even when i go to sleep at night. I look forward to talking to you on MSN every morning even if it's just for a few minutes. My heart skipped a beat whenever i saw your messages on Facebook and comments on my Cbox.

Gah! I sound like a retarded 12 year old girl professing her undying love for that math teacher or something. Haha!

Oh goodness, do you see how hard you made me fall for you? I just feel so helpless cause i cry myself to sleep every other night trying to forget about you.

Shit! I hate feeling so vulnerable but whatever. Since i already started, i might as well just finish it right?

I've been hurt so many times that i start building a wall around my heart but wow, you even manage to penetrate through that. What you said the other time really brought tears to my eyes. Haha, i just hate it how you can know exactly what to say at exactly the right time.

I told myself that if i ever find a guy who can make me smile to myself, get me all blushed up and giggly, he's a keeper. You told me you're not letting go. Truthfully, i don't wanna let go either but i can't hold on to something that is not mine to begin with.

Do you get what I'm trying to say?

I just don't know how to be just friends with you when you're always on my mind. You're possibly the only guy who can make me happy without even trying, well other than my parents of course, but it's not helping when you're way on the other side of the world.

What I'm trying to say is that, I'm just fucking frustrated that i can't be with you. I just find it fucking unfair.

You don't have to reciprocate my feelings and probably you don't feel the same for me. After this, you probably wouldn't even talk to me. Whatever happens, i just wanna tell you that you're really special to me and you'll always be in my heart *smiles*

Now, let me ask you again. Do you know how deep my feelings are for you? If your starting answer was NO, well now you know.

P/S: Am i still your Pink Power-Ranging Rockstar?

P/P/S: You'll always be my Cutest Bassist Ever! *hugs and kisses forever and ever baby*

This is the story of a girl

Okay, it's either you people don't read or you all just LOVE to go against me! Which one izzit? Come on, say it! LOVE GOING AGAINST ME RIGHT?! I knew it! Haha

Didn't i tell you not to ask stupid questions? Didn't i? But still there's some of you out there (you know who you are) that asked kiddy questions! Why is that?

Okay whatever, i decided to be nice and answer those teeny questions anyway. But this is gonna be the last time, if any of you ask me the same questions ever again, I'm just gonna slap you in the face!

Let's begin!

Question:
Is Arynne Vengeance your real name?
Answer:
Don't laugh! There are some people who asked me that! Pathetic i know!

No, Arynne is just a nickname my friends and family gave me.

And if you think Vengeance is my REAL family name, i suggest you go see a psychiatrist. Vengeance got stuck with me when a group of Zacky Vengeance fans and i got together.

So yeah, quit asking! Pfft

Question:
Why is your email address little_flirtish_gal?
Answer:
I was 12 and i wanted to sound promiscuous.

I know, it's just flirting. During my time, if a girl hold hands with a guy, they're considered a slut. So imagine, what the girls will do to you if you flirt, especially with their boyfriends.

Believe me, kids these days have it easy. I didn't even think about boys during my primary school days, but do you see the youngsters now? I'm speechless.

Question:
Are you really that flirty?
Answer:
Only when I'm interested. I'm friendly by nature, and sometimes guys mistook that for flirting.

When i talk to someone, i like to look them directly in the eyes and sometimes, i do touch the arm or the knee lightly but that's just me showing interest in the conversation, not the person.

Yes, i do give flirty stares, only because my eyes are flirty by nature. It's not intentional.

I don't flirt if I'm not interested.

Question:
How can i tell if you like me or just being friendly?
Answer:
I'll tell you. If i like you, I'll let you know flat out. Haha, ask Rob!

Question:
Why do you list yourself as bisexual?
Answer:
Cause i date girls too. Well, used to anyway. I'm just keeping my options open.

No, they do not make better girlfriends or boyfriend substitutes so don't believe whatever you hear.

You will still have relationship problems and arguments are inevitable.

Find me one guy that will love me endlessly and sincerely, who will show me that not all guys are the same. When that happens, I'll give up my bisexual ways.

No, i DO NOT have a girlfriend now.

Question:
Why do you and your girl friends like to take pics of cleavage (on chest lah!) and enjoy putting them up in friendster along with funny comments about them?
Answer:
If you've got it, flaunt it!

It's not our fault that we are born desirable. Blame our genes for the full boobs, great ass and curves in all the right places.

I know i sound conceited! Haha.

Question:
Do you like sex?
Answer:
Why am i not surprised that a Turkish guy asked me that question?

Well whatever, here's my answer.

Yes i do, but not with you. Call me a bitch for that? Go ahead, maybe i am but unfortunately for you, I'm not YOUR bitch.

And no, i don't wanna see your dick on the webcam. Get over it!

Question:
How do you always look like you're walking like a rockstar?
Answer:
Okay, if you asked me that question, i guess you saw me in school or anywhere before? If you see me again, do say hello *smiles*

Firstly, i don't know how the hell fucking rockstars look like when they walk and secondly, i don't know whether i should take that as a compliment or an insult.

Well, whatever it is. First and foremost, you have to love yourself. And then you gotta have confidence.

Even if you don't, just fake it! If you believe it, chances are people will too.

Walk as if you own the street. Chest out, shoulders straight, NEVER SLOUCH! Look straight, head up and just charge ahead.

If people look at you, maintain eye contact, let them look away first. NEVER say sorry if other people bump onto you, it's not your fault.

It helps if you have that snobbish face. The wind is your bestfriend, it helps with the dramatic effect. No wind? Make your own. No stupid, not by blowing *rolls eyes*

Question:
Is Rob your boyfriend?
Answer:
Thanx Ceci for your question, whoever you are. Next time leave an email okay *smiles*

No he's not.

I wish! Nyaha

Question:
What is the kinkiest thing you've done in bed?
Answer:
I have to admit, I'm not really the kinkiest person alive. And i have a feeling, I'm not the kinkiest one in my group either! Haha

Well anyhoo, it involves a guy (duh), silk stockings, bead necklaces and a cup full of ice.

Yes, you can substitute the beads necklace with pearl ones and the cup of ice to any fizzy drinks. For those alcohol lovers, champagne will do just fine too.

I don't think i wanna list down a step by step guide on this cause I'm pretty sure alot of you know what I'm talking about.

If not, go figure!

Question:
Do you have a sex tape?
Answer:
I know recording your sex act is illegal but i think everyone should have atleast one self pornographic material.

You know, a tape, a photo or just a short recording on that mobile phone. It makes it more fun.

But of course, don't forget to clear off all evidence when you break up with that guy.

Seriously, you do not want your ex boyfriend to have those incriminating materials on you.

Question:
How far would you go for a guy?
Answer:
Save the best for last.

Honestly, I've never really thought about it. Until now I'm not really sure how to answer that.

I guess i don't really mind sacrificing for the guy as long as it doesn't compromise with my beliefs, you know.

If he wants us to move in together, I'll do it cause i don't see any wrong in cohabiting. But if he's making me choose between friends and family, and him then that's going too far.

Emotionally, if I'm in a relationship, i always give it a hundred percent if not more but i also expect the guy to do the same.

I'm a very defensive girlfriend, so yes, i will go as far as beat the crap out of someone if he or she insults or talk in a manner which i don't approve, to my boyfriend.

Physically, i always try to be there for him as much as i can, unless i really can't! Haha, duh!

I don't cheat and i don't lie to my boyfriend.

In the sexual aspect of it, i guess i believe in trying everything twice. Cause you won't know if the feeling you had during the first time you tried is really genuine. You all get what I'm trying to say?

Well, not really everything cause there are some things i will never do. Like swapping or any kinds of those illegal stuff. Haha

Gah, i don't know if what i just typed made sense but yeah, i don't mind doing anything for a guy just as long as i think that it's not for selfish reasons on his part.

But do take note, once i say NO, i won't change my mind.

Well i guess that's all the questions for now. If there is ever anymore questions that you guys send or wanna ask, I'll try to answer them some other time.

Lol, recognize any of those questions? Yeah, i left the names out so that people won't know which of you have the perverted mind! Haha!

Oh well, until next time! Muacks!

That's just how i roll

My blog is lacking all the juicy gossips! Can you believe it? Gah!

Okay, i wanna make my blog more interactive and fun! Well actually I'm thinking of doing a video log of me doing a strip tease, haha, but since that haven't been done yet, i wanna do something with you all.

Okay? But i need all you readers' cooperation! Can you all gimme that?

I wanna make my blog more personal so that you all can know more about me in depth!

So i want all of you to gimme one question each, or two! It doesn't matter how personal it is. From family problems to love life blunders.

Well, just don't ask the obvious. Like how old am i, or if I'm still a virgin. What's my height and my weight or how many siblings I've got! If any of you ask me that question, i will end you!

You all feel me man? Haha!

I want all of you to come up with exciting questions, something controversial or just something out of the ordinary. So yeah!

Leave me a comment, email, message me in Friendster or Facebook or just Cbox me your questions! *waiting*

Once i get more than 5 EXCITING questions, that catches my eye and get me thinking of course, i will compile all the questions and answer them here, in my blog!

I will not answer questions individually or privately in emails or anything!

I will answer them straight up, honestly and truthfully! Nothing to hide.

But if there's no questions or whatsoever, then I'll just forget about it. Pfft! So make sure you all participate okay!

Well, what are you waiting for? Get cracking and keep the questions coming in!

Email: little_flirtish_gal@hotmail.com  (don't ask! Haha)

Baby you don't know what it's like to be me

Wootz! Can you believe it? I woke up this morning with bruises on both my arms and some scratches on my thighs.

Do you know what happened? NO? Well, that makes the both of us then! I have no idea what i did last night that can result with all these bruises and scratches.

The last thing i remember doing was watching this Zombie movie on Channel 8. Hmmz, do you think i could have wrestled with some Zombies in my dreams?

Oh well whatever, I'm sure it's gonna disappear in a few days or so. Lol, but it looked like I've been abused or something.

Could it be? You know, maybe I'm leading a double life. A nerdy student by day, and a cape crusader by night. But if that's the case, how can i not know about it right?

Hmmz, maybe I've got split personality?

Okay, that's it! Who here thinks I've been watching too much Power Rangers? Haha, yeah i think so too! But it's so addictive. Brain tells me to stop but fingers keep pushing play!

Here's a simple scenario of what might have happened.

Arynne happily watching Power Rangers (the original one, mind you) while chatting on MSN and looking at the door just incase the Lab Supervisor come in.

Brain: Hmmz, i think i better tell her to stop watching, just incase she thinks the Power Rangers are real! She might just become too obsessed!
Arynne: Oh well, let's watch the other episodes another day!
Finger: DO... NOT.. STOP... PRESS.. PLAYYYY!!
Arynne: OOooHh, Blue Ranger. Well one more episode won't hurt!

RAWR!!

Oh my goodness, I've been having such vicious mood swings the past few days. Probably i haven't been waiting well. I didn't take breakfast, skipped lunch, I'll only eat when i reach home and that's about 7pm.

My eating routine stays that way for the past few days.

Gah! Maybe it was a good idea when my mom told me not to skip breakfast!

My sugar content was so low, i get irritated by the simplest things. I get hyper sensitive and get angry at everybody.

Haha, Rob and Alistair got a taste of my ever changing mood swings. Oh goodness, i really apologize okay guys. It was totally unintentional.

One minute i was chatting happily, another minute i get offended by a harmless comment. Gah! Okay, i promise to eat breakfast from now on!

Hopefully you guys are not mad at me. *smiles innocently* Haha

I'm having my semester holiday right now, and most probably i won't be coming to school. So yeah, i wouldn't be online for a very long time. Or update my blog.

But of course, I'll try to update it as often as possible or you guys will think i vanish into think air or something. Tee hee!

Aww! I'm gonna miss my Cutest Bassist Ever! Think of me okay, my Nerdy Ninja! Haha!

Shut up you guys! It's not wrong to express one's fondness of someone k! Haha, I'm just joking!

Okay so yeah, I'm gonna talk to you guys later! Haha

Apologies

Okay, let me get this straight.

Based on my previous post on the Mas Selamat thingy.

I'm not trying to pin point our SPF's incompetency or anything like that. If you guys think that was my point in writing that blog, i sincerely apologise.

I didn't say i believed he is innocent. But i didn't say he's guilty either. I'm just saying it's just a possibility. Even though the chances of him being innocent is extra slim, but my point is, the chance he is, is still there.

You get what i mean?

And the sentence "I'll probably just give him some food, some money and a change of clothes." kinda offended some people.

What i meant was, he is still a human being. It's not in me to see fellow a human being suffering in hunger and to be dressed in such filth and me, doing nothing about it. You get what i mean?

It's not as if i'm really gonna keep him in my house or anything. I didn't say anything like that.

Another thing is, i'm not trying to insult anybody or anything. I know our SPF is doing their hardest to find this guy and i respect that.

Like i said, those are just theories. It's all made up and absolutely not real.

But i sincerely apologize to those i've offended with that post.

Mas Selamat bin Kastari

Honestly, i thought that this Mas Selamat fiasco will blow over after a few days but who knew it's still this hot.

For all you Singaporeans, I'm sure you already know what I'm talking about. For non-Singaporeans however, may not, so for more precise reference do visit this website.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mas_Selamat_bin_Kastari 

Hmmz, I'd like to quote one line from that website, "He was suspected of plotting to bomb Singapore Changi Airport in 2002,[2] and further investigations confirmed that he had initially planned to do so by crashing a plane through the airport.".

I don't know about you but i find that the keyword here is SUSPECTED. So i don't know, he COULD be innocent, you know. Or not. But we don't know that so it's like all these things are just speculations. If he's really guilty, i don't think the Singapore Police Force would just put him in detainment for that long.

Anywayz, i don't think they have the prove to make Mas Selamat the guilty party.

But of course, I'm not saying that i believe he's innocent, but i mean, it could be a possibility yeah? I just think that everyone should be innocent until proven guilty. Well, that's just me anyway.

Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Maz, Hazel, Violet and me were discussing this topic the other day and may i say, vivid imaginations really runs in the family.

Okay so, while we were talking about it, we kinda came up with different theories about this so-called 'case'. Haha

1) Uncle Jimmy's theory
BLACK MAGIC! Lol, well initially anyway! Just cause he was born in Central Java! Haha! Which i find really funny cause we were making a joke about it. I know we're being a bit insensitive making stupid jokes like this but i mean come on! It's just the way the SPF's rep said it, it's like he mysteriously vanished or something. Uncle Jimmy joked about how he went to the same magic classes as Criss Angel, and that he walked through walls to escape! Gah! What imagination! But i have to say it's pretty funny!

2) Aunt Maz's theory
That he's probably dead. And it is the SPF's way of covering up their mistakes. Of course, it seems a little far-fetched and looks like a scene from a Channel 8 drama series or something but haha, i don't know. It kinda make sense to me.

3) Hazel's theory #1
It was an inside job. And Hazel's reasons for saying that was because this is Singapore! We know how tight the security in Prison is. Not that either of us have been in Prison but we visited people there before. For people who have been to or visited the prisons in Singapore, you all should know how many doors there are just to get from one building to the other. So that being Hazel's reason, she concluded that Mas Selamat couldn't have been alone when he 'disappear'.

Well of course Violet and me totally think Hazel's theory was a bit crappy with the reason of course, THIS IS SINGAPORE! I mean please, we're not Malaysia where EVERYTHING can be bought with money. Violet also think that the officers in Singapore have integrity and will NEVER accept bribes. I don't think they wanna put their career on the line for this type of things.

4) Hazel's theory #2
That Mas Selamat is still under detainment and Singapore government wanna see how alert Singaporeans are. Well this one could be true since we have lots of evacuation exercises just incase some 'terror' really happen in Singapore.

Oh well, those are just theories anyway. Who knows what really happened.

I was wondering, you know probably Singaporeans are more excited by it rather than feeling scared. Well, it's not everyday that a wanted terrorist escaped from prison.

Or probably Singaporeans just don't care cause there's no rewards given if they turn in Mas Selamat. Pfft, i admit, Singaporeans are money-minded citizens. Especially now that everything is becoming so expensive. Pfft!

Anyhoo, I'm just thinking you know! If i ever, one day, leave my doors unlocked for some blonde reasons and Mas Selamat happens to be in the neighbourhood and decides to drop by, I'll probably just give him some food, some money and a change of clothes.

I think that's what my whole family will do. He's no murderer anyway, so yeah.

Hmm, I'm probably gonna get into trouble for saying that! But nooooooo, i am not his accomplice or in cahoots with him!

K! Haha i think i better shut up right now! Lol

P/S: Arynne is a law-abiding citizen of Singapore and she will never do anything to betray her country!

P/P/S: And Arun, you don't look like Mas Selamat! So you can stop being paranoid now. Haha

Cause this time i'm right, to move on

Pfft! Can you believe it, someone (name not to be mentioned) totally called me a playa! I find it funny that he called me that just because I'm no longer interested in him.

First he told me that he won't bother me anymore. Okay, fine, I'm not gonna sit there begging him for us to be friends so i just let him be.

Hey, i know I'm no hot stuff and i don't expect him to fight for me especially when everybody knows how i feel about Rob, but saying "Good luck with Rob, you tart" sounds like a sore loser to me.

I know, you people probably think that i change guys more than i change my thongs, but that is so not true.

Yeah sure, of course i crush on a few guys from time to time but once I'm really into someone, my feelings don't change. I'm someone who treasures relationships and I'm totally faithful. I don't cheat on boyfriends and i expects my significant other to do the same.

He (same person that called me a playa) went all "hope you get your justice" thingy on me.

Well I'll wait for it, cause as far as i know i didn't do anything wrong.

I have my reasons okay, it's not because i woke up one day and lost all feelings for him. I made this decision based on several occasions and incidents which will not be mentioned here (but if you follow my blog, you'll know the story a bit here and there).

Basically he was being rude, arrogant and being a total jerk.

So tell me, did i do anything wrong by not staying when i know he didn't treat me right?

Think about it.

The hands of time stripped youth from our bodies, and we fade

You know, I'm just wondering. All these famous people dying, getting one whole newspaper dedicated to them.

I find it kinda unnecessary. No offence to all celebrities who just passes away, my condolences goes out to the family.

I don't know, I'm just thinking. So what? So what if they died. Death is part of nature and it's nice to just embrace that.

Wait, I'm not making sense. What I'm saying is, is it really necessary to make headlines of these people's deaths? You know, it doesn't make a difference to anybody (except their families of course) if Heath ledger or Lydia Lum die.

Okay, my point is that why do they have to make a big deal out of everything useless, you know. You don't see them talking about that old lady that died of starvation, or those kids that froze to death, you know, things that actually make a difference in normal people's life.

Yeah, so the best Hollywood actor died, boo hoo, get over it. Now what? Does it really matter?

To be honest, i have no idea where I'm going with this. Just that all these people dying made me question about my life a little.

Have i actually, ever, made a difference? Have i done anything to make people remember my name? Yeah sure, i do some volunteer work, but izzit really enough to change things? Will you guys miss me when I'm gone? What will people say at my funeral? will anybody even come? And if they do, izzit really because they care about me or just to see if I'm really gone?

Do people think about all these, or izzit just me? Haha, don't bother about me, it's just another one of my gloomy days.

So let me ask you, if i die, will you guys think of me?

Talking about Death made me shudder in my seat, or probably that's just the air-conditioning.

So, before i die, do any of you have something to say to me?

I have something to say to some people just incase it's too late for anything.

Daddy-
You are my role model. You took care of me when i was growing up. You were there when i just needed someone to pay attention to me. You are the one person that i really look up to and although i don't say this often, i just wanna say from the bottom of my heart that i really love you. Your love is the purest form of affection and nobody is comparable to you. Oh Daddy, please stop smoking! Tee hee

Mummy-
To be honest, i did blame you for the breaking up of our family. I hated you when you made Daddy cry but i was young then. Now that I'm older, i understand (although i don't approve of it) why you do the things you did. I know you try so hard to make up to me for all the times we lost while you were busy working but believe me Mummy, i don't blame you anymore. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Maz-
Thank you for all the encouragements you've given me. Thank you for giving me the push that i need and most importantly, thanx for all the support all these years.

Violet and Hazel-
I really don't know what to say to the both of you. All the thanks in the world wouldn't even come close to saying how grateful i am that i have you both to lift me up on my feet when i was at the bottomless pit. Both of you are my cousins, my sisters, my bestfriends, most importantly both of you are my confidante. It was hard for me to accept my parent's divorce in the first place but thanks for being there for me and being with me. Thanx for being the shoulders for me to cry on, for crying with me, for wiping away my tears.

My girlfriends, you know who you are-
I treasure our friendship because it was built on trust, acceptance and honesty. Thanks for being my laughter during my most darkest days. Thanks for being my light when everything around me just look so bleak. Thanks for the slaps in the face during my escapes from reality. Thanx for being there.

Ryan-
My bestfriend, my soulmate. You are the only one that know me inside out, you gave me hope when everything seems like there's nothing worth living for. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me, the only person i trust whole-heartedly. The person who pat me on the back and say, "everything's gonna be fine.", the person who will always love me. I love you bestfriends and i treasure everything we went through.

Sophia-
Even though the friendship starts off with a little white lie, i just wanna tell you that my friendship is still with you. It doesn't matter what you did, you realized your mistakes and that's the most important thing to me, that you come clean. You did and you deserve that second chance. Believe me, you did nothing wrong to me, and you're still a friend.

Paul-
You had me, but you didn't treasure me. Now that you lost me, i don't see the point in us being like last time. I'm sure you'll make a girl very happy one day, but that girl's not me. I've moved on, let me go.

Rob-
Why izzit that everytime i talk about you, i blush? It's so funny cause i keep talking to my friends about you. It frustrates me sometimes cause i can't be with the person i care for, and the people who really appreciate and treasure me are always the ones i can't get. Your name is the first one i look out for when i come online and i like how we always enjoy each other's company even though we talk about things that don't make sense. You make me smile so much and i know it's not an easy job, so kudos to you! Haha, whatever people wanna say go ahead, i like you and I'm not afraid to admit that!

To everyone else-
Alistair, Allysa, Arun, Mark, Eric, Bronson, Mike, and everyone in between! I'm happy. I'm honoured to be a part of your lives, just as you are apart in mine. You guys mean so much to me, and i really mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for being the friends everyone have always hoped for.

Haha, I'm definitely convinced that I'll die the moment i post this blog! Oh well, I've poured out my heart and soul to you, now it's your turn *smile*

I know i'm a young girl, but i know how to have fun

Finally!! After an anxious wait, i'm able to post pictures on Friendster blog again! Haha, so i guess now i have to be very picky on what pictures to put huh!

As some of you know, my mom had a minor foot incident which resulted her to be hospitalized and operated on. The reason why i didn't alert you guy cause it wasn't anything serious, but i would really like to thank you people for all the well wishes! My mom says thanks too and appreciate it lots!

21st February 2008, Thursday.

My mom had a minor foot surgery. I can't tell you much about what happened on that day cause i wasn't there but one thing is for sure, i bet she's sleeping all the way since she have been sedated!

To be honest, i was a bit worried on that day. And i apologize to everyone if i wasn't my cheerful self that day! Muacks!

22nd February 2008, Friday.
  

Violet and I visited my mom and she was just lying in bed after eating dinner. Lol, i have to say she looked pretty relaxed. My mom was complaining about how bored she was and how she have nothing to do except eat and sleep.

Haha, i think she deserve the rest since she have been working non stop. Hey! I do feel sorry for my mom okay! Why do you think i study so hard for!? Okay, that's not the point right now! Haha

Just as she was complaining, supper came. She ate while i took pictures. After visiting hours was over, Violet and I wanna go home, we decided to check out the Nursery but have no idea where so we decided to explore the freaking hospital.

Seeing how deserted the hospital was, naturally my imagination started running wild. I was thinking about this Indonesian horror movie and started talking about it to Violet.

Let's sidetrack for a little bit and talk about this movie. The movie is called 'Suster Ngesot' translates to english, means 'Crawling Nurse'. It's about this psycho guy that is being haunted by the nurses he raped and kill (not necessarily in that order) before cutting their legs off and burying them under the banana tree. Well, apparently there's these two couples suddenly decide to fornicate at the exact spot where the bodies were buried. Bleah! I know, stupid plot right! Haha k, sorry! After their jungle adventures *rolls eyes* (Haha! Arynne, what a jerk!), one of the girl decided to pee, by accident of course, on a grave. Wowee and the other girl just decides to leave her virgin blood for the souls to feed on.

Okay, my point was, i got freaked by the quietness of the hospital that i became paranoid! Haha, although Violet was beside me, i jumped when the automatic door open.

I know! I watched too much horror movies! Belle was right, watching scary shows will bring you unnecessary fear! Haha, oh well!

Anyways continuing, after that stupid jump, the nurse behind me laughed! I don't blame her, i laughed at myself too and not to mention Violet was mocking me!

So we walked past this power supple room with some Indian technicians inside. Whatever, Violet and I continued talking, and then suddenly the technician decided to turn on the radio! Pfft, great timing guys! I was still thinking of that haunted hospital when i jumped, yet again, at the song.

Hello! Don't blame me okay! The place was in complete silence and then suddenly you hear people whistling with whispering music at the background! OKay fine, laugh at me! *pouts*

Anyway, we didn't find the stupid nursery so we decided to go home! Plus, we were super hungry!

We waited so long for the bus and it was funny cause when the bus finally arrived, it didn't stop! We were talking, yes i admit that but surely the bus driver saw us walking towards the bus right? Haha, Violet looked at me with a stupid, slightly embarrassed look, i looked back at her and laughed hysterically!

Okay, fine!! It's not funny now, it's one of those things where you have to be there to find it funny.

23rd February 2008, Saturday.

     

Visited my mom again! Haha, this time with Hazel, Violet, Aunt Maz and Uncle Jimmy. Nothing to say about that day except the my mom's colleagues came to visit her. They brought fruit baskets, i was bored so i decide to ravaged on one of the baskets and start eating the fruits! Oh, and the strawberry was heavenly! Huge, red and sweet, just the way i like it!

Pfft, don't even get me started on what happened! My mom's friend brought her 5 year old daughter along so i'm being so nice by offering her a strawberry, boy did i regret it!

I'm like so much bigger than her, so it's definitely common sense for me to eat faster. I jokingly commented on how i already finished two strawberries when she's only just started on hers. You wanna know what the mother replied? She said, with the most sarcastic voice ever, "She's a virgin, that's why!" I innocently replied, "AND I'M NOT?!" Oh my goodness, she still have the cheek to reply NO to that question!

Seriously, i think i wasn't really thinking at that time, probably why i didn't shoot her back.

When we got home, Aunt Maz was furious! I mean, come to think of it, what the hell does eating fast have got to with virginity!? Well unless she eats with her pussy, then I've got nothing to say! Haha, whatever! I'm not gonna make her famous by talking about her here. I just don't think she made sense at all!

24th February 2008, Sunday.
Hazel, Violet and I fetched my mom from the hospital, sent her home and stole some fruits from her fruit basket! Tee hee!

We were hungry so Violet suggested going to a Drive-in McD.

Went to Violet's house, eat, watch a little television and went online! Haha, that's when i webcammed with Rob (and of course, TJ), with Violet and Hazel in the room.

Well, haha sorry for not warning from the start about how long the post is gonna be! So enjoy the pink cast photos! Haha!