Oh deary me. Look people, the previous post was just a joke. It's just one of the fun but lame post i like to blog about from time to time. You readers already know that right.
I don't really want any of the guys to be mine. I mean, of course i don't really mind if it really happens but the thing is, I'm still living in reality and I'm still pretty much sober. I know i can't possible have any of them as my boyfriend,i was just having fun from the post. They're celebrities, I'm sure you all have celebrity crushes from time to time.
Gah, enough about that.
After a week of school, there's a cute guy in one of my classes (not gonna say which class just incase schoolmates read this). Finally! Haha. Too bad though, he's kinda short and I'm pretty sure he's attached. Well whatever, i find him cute. I don't really talk to him though but we've been stealing glances once in a while. Tee hee!
Where should i start.
I wanna apologize to guys that I've been rejecting for the past week or so. They're nice, sweet, charming (I'm a sucker when guys can make me smile to myself okay, so shut up!) and a little persistent (though some a little more than others) but I'm just not in the mood to go on dates.
What?! You all don't believe me? Okay fine, I'll tell you the real reason. The reason why i don't wanna go on dates is because I'm broke. There I've said it! Happy now?! No haha, I'm just kidding.
Seriously I'm just too tired to go on dates and hoping that one of the guys I'm on a date with is my Mr Right Now. I'm sure you girls know how it is. When you think that everything's going fine and you go on that second or even third date when suddenly everything's going downhill and you just can't point a finger on what actually went wrong.
But hey, I'm definitely not looking for a serious relationship right now. Believe it or not, I'm kinda liking the single life and i don't think i wanna give it up just yet.
I don't know, really.
I guess one of the reason why i wanna stay single is probably cause i don't wanna fall hard for anyone at the moment. The last time i did, i got my heart smashed.
Let's not talk about that incident again okay. *smiles*
Violet is right when she told me to fall for someone who is physically there instead of just someone over the internet, or those I've not met. I mean, i do fall for guys in real life but most of them turned out to be a waste of time. I must admit though that there are guys that is worth being serious with but for some reason or another, it didn't work out.
I know what Violet said make sense but sometimes you just can't help but just fall for that person. No matter how you people deny it, we do open up more when we can't see that person we're talking to and you know that when they like you it's not because of the way you look. You can just feel the connection between you two and you feel completely comfortable being you true self with him.
What I'm trying to say is that, i did not reject those guys because of what happened (or didn't happen) between Rob and me.
I just don't have feelings for some of them and i think it's selfish if i accept their date and keep leading them on by making them think that they have a chance with me. For those i have feelings for, i just don't wanna waste their time by being with them when i can't give them a hundred percent.
I guess the most logical reason for me right now is that i don't wanna waste my time dating and then realizing that they're just like everyone else. I don't wanna spend months or years being with someone and then realizing that we're not meant for each other.
Believe me, my decision have nothing to do with Rob, or Paul, or Ryan or anyone in between.
I mean, yeah sure sometimes i do feel lonely when i see my friends holding hands with their significant others. And yeah sure, i do sometimes think about what could have happen between Paul and me, or Rob, or even Ryan (if we ever give the relationship another shot). Of course, sometimes i do wish i have someone special but that doesn't mean i have to accept every guys that asked me out. It also doesn't mean that i have to force myself to like someone or be with someone that i know will just hurt me like all the others before.
You all get what i mean?
I know I've been flirting here and hitting on guys there but I'm just having fun. Because of that, SOME people (you know who you are) asked me if I'm already over Rob.
To be honest, i was pissed (you all already know about the heartbroken part). Not because he chose her, but more to the fact that it happened so abruptly.
We promised each other to tell whenever either of us have stopped having feelings for the other but he never told me. But I've already dismissed that thought cause i guess he did make a valid point when he said it's impossible for us to be together. Hey, when someone already say that, what else can you do right?
I can't possibly force him to not stop having feelings for me. You get what i mean?
I still like him, but I'm starting to look at him more as a friend (no matter how much i hate doing that!), instead of someone who made my stomach flutter (also the fact that i don't do attached guys). Haha.
Things are working out between him and the girlfriend so he did make the right decision by choosing the other girl. Well, i guess it's high time that i forget about everything that happened between him and me huh?
Well, you know the feeling when your heart tells you not to let go but you know you have to. It's not really a predicament, it's just a little harder.
It's okay but i have to address something he said though, about me not being optimistic and not having faith about the situation.
All i have to say is that, if i wasn't being hopeful, i wouldn't reject the guys that showed interest in me and try to be happy without him in the picture during that period of time. If i didn't think that we were possible, i wouldn't have thought about making a university in Michigan as my first choice.
Yeah that's over anyway. Rob and me will always have that little thing going on but too bad, I'm not THE thing.
It's okay though, I've kinda already accepted the situation.
BUT
Forever and ever, he'll always be my Cutest Bassist Ever! That's one thing that will never ever change, this i promise. *smiles*
Jeesh, i don't know how it got to that. I'm just trying to answer why i keep rejecting guys. Well, now you know!
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