My hand is on the trigger, i'm ready to ignite..

"Let's go our separate ways.." Those words played in my mind over and over again.. My stomach cringed, my heart crumbled.. A wet sensation ran down my cheeks.. "What is that?" I wondered to myself.. I felt my face, now wet with my own tears..

It's weird.. I thought we could work through all the problem we have, but i guess this is the last straw for him.. I have to admit that this time, this is entirely my fault.. I sabotaged my own happiness..

This time there's no turning back. He already expressed to me what he wants and i have no choice but to respect it.. Half of my heart still wants him, still longed for him but do i have my say in this? Who do i have to blame for getting me here? Who do i have to blame for having my heart broken? No one else but me.. I'm to blame for whatever happens to me..

I have to say honestly, i didn't see it coming.. Even though this heart told me not to cry, to move on.. I can't control my emotions.. It's bizarre how love works.. How can you be so mean towards someone but still love him so much?

I have to admit, he broke my heart with those few words.. I do still care for him, i do still wants him.. Hell, i do still love him.. But for now, let's just move on with my life and let this unworthy love of mine go unnoticed..

I'm not gonna tell him that i still wanna be with him cause that's just so wrong.. After what he said, seriously how else can i respond.. I thought being with him can finally undo the curse of all the bad relationships i had.. I thought being with him, i can finally find someone to call my own.. But too bad, so sad.. Things don't always go my way..

I may act as if i don't care or unfeeling when he said those words, but only i know how i feel exactly.. He will never understand where I'm coming from.. He'll never understand my needs to be serious in a relationship.. But what's done is done.. All i can say is..

"Thank you Angel for the love and care you have given to me all this while.. It was great while it lasted.. I have to say I'm not at all ready to let you go, but hey I'm a big girl.. I'll be fine.. No one can ever replace the uniqueness you bring to my heart.. Thank you for being the great friend that you are.. Take care of yourself and hey, my door's always open for you.. Goodbye my sweet prince of darkness.."

7 Deadly Sins..

We're all guilty of one if not more of those 'Deadly Sins'.. Let's take a look at the seven of them and see where i stand..

Greed-
–noun
excessive or rapacious desire, esp. for wealth or possessions. 

I'm totally guilty of that.. I love money, i love material things.. It's the only thing that can make me happy.. I love money and I'm not afraid to let everyone know.. Money is the only thing that can make the world go round.. Without money, life is NOTHING! NOTHING!! I'll do anything, ANYTHING for money.. I don't know, it's just something I'm born with.. Greed. I can never have enough of things and of course money! Money is a drug, it's MY drug.. No matter how Siti Nurhaliza's fans hate her for marrying that Datuk, i still think she made the right choice.. Hey, so what if he's divorced with kids and even like twice her age.. The important thing now is.. HE'S FILTHY RICH! Haha.. That's it! When it comes to worldly possession, i totally must have everything..
Sin factor for GREED = 5/5

Glutton-
-noun
1. a person who eats and drinks excessively or voraciously. 
2. a person with a remarkably great desire or capacity for something: a glutton for work; a glutton for punishment. 

Hmmz, well let me thing about this.. I don't think I'm a gourmand or anything.. BUT! BUT! Haha, I'll never stay away from black chocolates, strawberry and ice cream, especially when they're together.. It's a girl's thing.. I can never stay away from black chocolate.. I can never rest until i get my black chocolates.. There's this once where my mom bought me this bitter chocolate with pure cocoa coating, it was just heavenly.. I think i got the best orgasm when i eat that thing, it hits the right spot!! Yeah, so i didn't rest until i found the stand that sell those orgasmic chocolates.. It's at Century Square, Tampines by the way.. But other than that, i don't even bother to find.. Yah, so i don't think i have a problem with this..
Sin factor for GLUTTON = 2/5

Vanity-
–noun
excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit

Yeah, EVERYONE's guilty of this.. We all pay high attention to our appearances and what we can do.. Even me! Yeah, i admit i am vain.. When i achieve something i think i hold high regards to, I'll boast so much about it.. My qualities, abilities.. I respect myself for being able to do what some people can't.. Yeah, appearances too.. My hair, haha nothing should happen to my hair when i go out.. If I'm having a bad hair day, I'd rather stay at home than have fun with my best girlfriends.. I'll curse the wind if it messed my hair! Mirrors, ah, a girl's bestfriend, next to diamonds that it.. I always look at myself whenever there's a mirror around.. I touch up my make up every chance I've got.. It's weird cause I've always been someone who don't care at all about appearances.. I think all the not caring all these while have finally caught up with me.. I think i have high admiration of myself but never to the point of being narcissistic.. It's a scary feeling..
Sin factor for VANITY = 4/5

Sloth-
–noun
habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness. 

Sloth.. That's kinda like being lazy right?? Overly lazy perhaps? Yeah, i never understood what this means.. Haha, most probably i was never in this kinda situation before.. I've been lazy before but not to the extend of being OVERLY lazy.. Haha.. Sloth.. I know this is some kinda animal.. Haha.. But it's so out of the topic.. Yeah, i know it's lazy but not which degree of lazy.. Like i said, I've been lazy before of course.. When you're feeling so tired and it's raining outside that's it feels so nice to sleep in.. Yeah, that's MY lazy.. So, i have no problem with this..
Sin factor for SLOTH = 1/5

Pride-
–noun
1. a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. 
2. the state or feeling of being proud.

Well, maybe I'm do admit defeat on this.. Like i said, when i achieve something which i hold high regards to, I'll boast about it.. I'm proud of myself.. I think that's I'm overly proud that it turned into arrogance.. Pride? Probably.. I never wanna say sorry, even if I'm wrong.. But then, of course it's just an ego thing.. I don't know, i never really thought about it.. Pride? Hmmz, I'm sincere when i help someone.. So pride isn't really high on my list..
Sin factor for PRIDE = 3/5

Lust-
–noun
1. intense sexual desire or appetite. 
2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

Haha, lust.. Sexual desires of mine will NEVER be fulfilled, all thanks to a guy named, CRISS ANGEL! Haha, what a pervert! Lust, i don't have a say in this.. But do i consider myself lusty? I don't know, probably.. To a certain degree, maybe.. Some people say i have seducing eyes.. Haha weird i know.. Okay yah, i have a 'lustful stare', as what my male friends told me, but SEDUCING EYES?? You've got to be kidding me!! Haha, but thanx guys.. Some say i have a touch of a seducer.. Tell me again, how is that?? Haha, i never get it.. My guy friends said that i have this teasing touch.. I touch them real softly and lightly just right for them to feel something, and then i stop.. Funny, yeah whatever guys.. As for my lips, they love my bottom lips! Haha, yah its a bit thick but it's weird that they go crazy over it.. "Kissable and nice to bite", that's how they describe my lips.. Oh yah, i have this guy friend who ALWAYS smells my hair whenever we meet, WITHOUT FAIL!! It gets him turned on i guess.. Come to think of it, my male friends sound like perverts!! Haha
Sin factor for LUST = 3/5

Wrath-
–noun
1. strong, stern, or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation; ire. 
2. vengeance or punishment as the consequence of anger. 

Revenge is a dish best served cold.. If you're not happy with something, vengeance is your only medicine.. I have anger management problem. Things will break or go flying once i get angry.. You don't wanna see my wrath, seriously! You see, once i get angry, i tend to forget who i really am.. It's like I'm somebody else, somebody revengeful, somebody full of rage and the worst case scenario, i lose touch of reality.. It's like I'm in my zone and everything bad will happen.. Even when my mom wrongly accused me, yah i forgot that's she's my mom and i get all violent towards her.. In my heart i know it's wrong but my brain keep telling me not to stop.. It's weird.. With a bit of counseling, I'm glad to say I'm not THAT violent anymore.. But when you step on my toe, you wouldn't know what hit you..
Sin factor for WRATH = 5/5

Out of a possible 35, i only got 23.. That's not that bad, right?? I mean, at least I'm not sinful.. Haha, but then again, i cant give points to myself.. Drop me a line and let me know what you guys think..

Happy 20th birthday!! Matchmaking time!!

First of all would like to wish my bestest friend, Sally a Happy 20th birthday!! "Finally 20! How does it feels huh?!" When izzit gonna be my turn! Haha

Conference on the eve of her birthday.. Belle, Sally and me! I was the host, of course! Haha, was kinda talking crap and bored then i remembered that Angel said he wanna get to know my friends, so i told them to hold on and called Angel.. So now Angel is also in the conference.. "Thanx Dear for wishing Sally a happy birthday!"

Haha, it seems fine and not awkward even though this is the first time i introduce a fellow boyfriend to my friends.. Yeah, I've never introduce an ex boyfriend to my friends before, not formally that they talk with us on the phone.. Whatever you know!

Ha, Angel had to listen to us talk nonsense and plan for our outing.. Thanx goodness he joined in the stupid talk.. I think it's pretty cool that they can get along.. Well, they got along so well that they gang up on me!! But it's okay, it's all in the name of good fun! Hmph!

Belle had to put down early cause her mom was home from Johor.. Haha, pretty cute that she's trying to avoid getting scolded from her mom.. We haven't really planned where we wanna go so we kinda called Belle's mobile phone since she can't use the home phone when her mom's at home! Angel didn't join in this conversation since HE himself can't use the phone..

"1pm show at Bishan! Don't be late!" Belle said before ending the conversation.. I think Sally had too much fun that she called me again to conference.. There were just the two of us so i called Angel.. AGAIN!

Of course it's not that fun since Angel was the only guy and have to listen to TWO girls trying to tell each other which friend they bump into.. Besides, Angel doesn't even know who we're talking about and i have to explain to him every single detail.. Up to my cousin, Violet's 4 year crush on an ignorant jerk named Nic! But then, i still think that he don't understand so i decided to talk about something else instead!

About Sally not having a boyfriend!! I keep asking Sally to find a boyfriend before i match make her myself! You know since all my other sisters, Violet, Belle, Kat and Phoebe already has a boyfriend, me included.. Sally wouldn't budge and still insist to stay single.. Haha, so i said to her "Girl! I'm so gonna find you a boyfriend! I'll ask my boyfriend if any of his friends are single okay!" Haha, obviously she got all noisy and stuffs but i still didn't give up.. So i asked Angel about his mutant friend, Wolverine..

And guess what, haha i asked Angel to call Wolverine to call me and join in the conference.. He did!! Haha, well probably cause Angel text message him and said that it was urgent.. Tricky tricky Angel..

Okay so here's the thing.. Haha i told Sally to seize the chance since Wolverine was already inside and he's a guy with many many fans but she still remain as stubborn as ever! Okay i admit! I was trying to match make Wolverine with Sally, and i think they kinda hit it off.. In my opinion, the thing that arouses Wolverine about Sally was the fact that Sally's a nurse.. Haha, they keep talking about medical stuffs that me and Angel kinda got lost in the conversation! Haha.. Luckily there's Angel to share the moment with me! Hua hua..

Sally got confused along the way cause she said that Angel and Wolverine sound alike but i don't think so.. And of course, i called them using their real HUMAN names while they call each other with their MUTANT character names.. But worked it all out in the end!

Yah i did okay! I did be honest to Wolverine about me trying to match make Sally to him.. All i can say it, he's the best! Haha, he still go with the flow and just converse as usual.. I hope he don't mind about that.. I was just joking anyway cause it's hard to open up that stone heart of Sally's! "Thanx Wolv for entertaining our nonsense! Haha"

So girls, what do you think of Angel??

Dear,  what do you think of my two bestest girlfriends?

Most importantly, Sally! What did you think of Wolverine?!!

Haha, love you guys so much! Happy birthday once again, Sally!

Being hot should be a crime

I've been thinking about it.. I mean, some people are born with all the luck and all the good genes..

Well, we all have our dream guy.. Maybe we did get them at one point of our life but it will always almost never work out.. Jerks as they may be, we'll never stop loving them..

My dream guy is someone who's Gothic, with tattoos and piercings.. Being a fireman wouldn't hurt either cause those wet yellow suits of them are just hot.. Having lots of money is definitely the highlight of it all..

Here are some LUSTFUL guys who i think should be punish for being who they are..

Criss Angel-
Of course! The original goth dude who I've fallen deeply in love with. He's the only one, in my opinion, who looks damn stunning in black leather and boots. Black hair, dark eyes, those kissable lips.. Even though he's into dark things, he still maintain his composure and personality well.. A down-to-earth guy, without a doubt! What more can a girl ask for.. He's a magician, he's in a band, and he's definitely MY definition of a hot goth.. Despite the lack of tattoos and piercings, he still look so spectacular! He may not be a fireman but he plays with fire, and that's just as hot! He's definitely in the top of my list of being the most gorgeous human being alive!

George Clooney-
Okay, so he's not goth, nor is he a fireman.. But hey, you all gotta agree with me when i say he's the hottest veteran actor around! 'The older, the hotter' as what i always say.. Hey, you know what the most important thing is? He's FILTHY RICH! No matter how old you are, money makes the world go round baby! So, he's not to be forgotten and also win a spot in my list as one of the gorgeous rich dude alive!

MShadows-
Now, Violet's gonna agree with me when i say MShadows is HOT HOT HOT! Hazel says he's balding but who the hell cares! Those dimples, those luscious lips and that penetrating stare he have in this eyes are just to die for.. I'd kill just to have him smile at me with that marvelous cheeky smile of his! Those huge arms, built body and oh-so tight butt of his are just so orgasmic! Okay eww, i sound like a freaking pervert but it's all his fault for being so tremendously gorgeous! He's the lead vocalist of a band, he looks so hot in that goth make up of his.. Come to think of it, he PHYSICALLY fits most of what I'm looking for in a dream guy.. Big, tall, tattoos, piercings.. okay so he's not really goth but hey, he's another guy who i think will look drop dead sexy in a wet fireman suit!!

Sysnyster Gates/Zacky Vengeance-
Help me out here you girls!! I can't decide when it comes to these two! They're two of the guys who i think look dead gorgeous in that smudging eyeliner.. Hey, they can wear nothing except those eyeliners of them and they're still gonna look so hot! I can't pick either one.. Here's the reasons why! They're oh so mysterious!! They're guitarists in a band.. Well, guitarists are the best guys ever! \m/ Those solos Zacky does and that long fingers of Synyster's are remarkably to die for.. Dark eyes with smudging eyeliner, those artistic tattoos, those killer piercings and of course guitarists in a band?? I mean, come one! Gimme ONE good reason why they don't deserve to be in MY list of gorgeous hunks!

Johnny Depp-
Three words, CAPTAIN JACK SPARROWS! It's just his eyes.. I've got nothing more to say.. It's all about the eyes, darling!

Hugh Jackman-
Wolverine! Nobody can play Wolverine as good as him! Yah, so he's untouchable cause he's married.. But we always want what we can't have.. Am i right, or am i right? Tee hee.. Married, short-tempered and that accent.. Woo! Turn me on anytime honey!

Okay, so maybe we all have our own definition of HOTNESS.. I can tell you one thing. Whoever my parents won't approve of, those are the guys i will wanna date..
I know, there's also gonna be some disagreement about the list but hey, it's MY list so if you're not happy with it, go screw yourself!

But of course, i won't forget the 'PRINCE OF MY HEART', Arch Angel.. No need to ask okay people, of course he's gonna be in my list and yes, my heart.. Hehe.. The reason?? HE'S MINE!! Period!

The kiss of an Angel

Well here i am again.. Ha, i seriously have self-esteem issues when it comes to relationships..

Worked things out with Angel about the contacting with the ex thingy.. The thing is, i don't see the reason why Angel have to be so insecure about me contacting my ex.. So what if his other bullshits ex screwed him or played him, if he thinks I'm gonna do that same thing to him too then he clearly don't know me.. I don't even wanna get hurt, who in the right mind would wanna hurt the person they love and care most about? The issue here is about trust.. Why be together if we don't have that mutual trust with each other.. You get what i mean?

I'm very faithful when I'm in a relationship.. Yah i have lots of male friends, but which girl doesn't? I may flirt with other guys or what but that doesn't mean I'm interested in them.. Sheesh.. Seriously there's nothing to feel so insecure about..

I'm glad we've worked THAT thing out..

Well, i don't know if it's just me but i feel like our relationship is not what it's used to be.. I feel as if I'm losing Angel day by day, him slipping away through my fingers.. Maybe it's my paranoia, i don't know but it's like we're falling apart every minute.. It's a weird feeling now that i may have started to really fall in love.. Haha, it's a strong word i know but you know, feelings develop.. Oh well, life goes on i guess..

Like all my other exs, he plays hot and cold.. One day he can be the most sweetest and gentlemanly guy you could ever fall in love with, and the next minute he's giving me the cold treatment.. Totally unfeeling and uncaring.. It's like a roller-coaster ride you know, only this time you don't know when the roller-coaster is going up or down.. It's like going on a roller-coaster ride blind folded.. Yah, you get what i mean.. Haha..

Maybe it's him, but then again maybe it's my self-esteem issues.. Sometimes i do need re-assurance that he's into this relationship as much as i am.. That he's serious about me and not treating me like his 'transition girl' after his break up with his ex which isn't even half a year ago.. Is it wrong to feel this way?

I have to keep wondering to myself, 'Does he still wanna be with me?', 'Is he already bored of me?'.
A friend told me that we have communication problem.. He also said that sometimes i need to ask myself what i can do to make Angel happy.. Is it really all about the guys when it comes to relationship?

The truth is, i really don't wanna lose him.. Sounds emotional i know but yeah, those family members and friends who knows thoroughly what my life is about will know why it's really hard for me to fall in love, why it's hard for me to be too laid back when I'm in a relationship.. So don't judge me..

Once again i say, i so don't wanna lose him.. He brought back my laughs and my laughter.. Even my quirkiness is back.. My actions are more genuine now and not fake like how it's used to be.. Confession, I'll be crushed if this relationship never work out.. But till then, we'll see..

If you show me real love baby, i'll show you mine..

Sheesh! I'm so freaking disappointed with myself over the results i got.. I HATE MY RESULTS!! Well here's my results:

Introduction to Effective Communication  B+
Electronic Devices and Circuits  C+
Digital Fundamentals 2 A
Engineering Mathematics 2 B+
Static and Strength of Material B
Computer Programming  B
Introduction to Psychology  C+

My cumulative GPA for two semesters:        3.16

Aah! So what if i have one A! I've still got two C+s!! It totally brought down my GPA.. I feel like crying when i saw that 2 C+s.. Haha, i was with Angel, watching 'Little Man' when i got my results.. Kinda sucked, even now writing this stupid blog, my heart kinda shrunk..

I don't know why my heart is shrinking right now.. Izzit for the fact that i did badly for my exams or because nobody cares? I showed my mom the results, she said it's alright but i can see the disappointment in her face..

My friends said i did alright cause i did much better than them, except Wee Teck, but i still think i did poorly! Total stupidity on my part! Damn those 2 C+s! "But thanx friends for being there.."

As for Angel, i have nothing to say about him cause he's totally expressionless! Sheesh.. Maybe it's just me but it seems like he don't care..
"Seriously i don't know where we are now.. You asked me if i still feel the same for you and i said i still do.. Now, it's my turn to ask you.. Where do we go from here? It sucks being on the fence.. I still do have feelings for you and i wanna commit myself to you but it's confusing me cause i don't know how you feel right now.. You said you do wanna continue but your expression and your actions totally contradicts to what you said.. So, right now.. Tell me where we are, cause if you did change your mind.. I can calmly move on without feeling too hurt.. Before i sink in this, so called, 'relationship'.."

I remember when we all used to, kick back take days off school..

Well, I've got my results.. I think i sucked! I've got a couple of C+ which i know will bring down my current 3.25 GPA! It's stupid, you know! I studied with my heart, my soul and of course, my brain but i just don't seem to get it! Sheesh, I'm just plain dumb, that's it! I'm totally disappointed with myself for having those 2 C+.. I'm gonna more hard on myself this coming semester.. NO televisions, NO phone calls, NO girl's outing (boo hoo!)! I don't deserve to have fun, not after those 2 damn C+s I've got! Sheesh! I got 1 A, and a handful of Bs and B+s.. Sucks!!! I'm gonna kill myself! "Haha! I sound so emo!"

Well being in poly have made me appreciate my brain and memory more! Haha.. Like i said, it's like a battlefield out there, only the strongest will survive.. In this case, only the smartest will and i don't think I'm in that category! I didn't slack at all this semester.. Okay, maybe i did just a little. I was sleepy so i decided to close my eyes during e-devices lecture, the subject which i sucked at! "You see Wee Teck, it's all your fault! You wouldn't teach me that freaking subject now i got C+ for it! Hmph!" Haha, i sound like a sore loser! Well obviously i will.. I'm very competitive in studies.. When i do better, I'll brag about it and when i suck, I'll bitch about it! Anywayz, Wee Teck is being very kind for not laughing at my overall results unlike what he always do for my class test and common test! Wee Teck is so much smarter than me! He looks like a slacker but heck, those brain of his doesn't seem to stop working! Cool!

Oh well, talking about poly made me miss my Higher Nitec school days in ITE Tampines.. Haha, i remember during orientation where no one knows nobody, of course, only a handful knows each other from secondary school or wherever.. The first person i talked to was Natasya (not real name)..
First met her at Tampines Interchange that day but i didn't know her so i didn't smile back when she smiled at me.. Yah, that's me.. I won't smile at you if i don't know you and if that makes me arrogant then so be it! People, lemme tell you okay! "I AM NOT ARROGANT! REALLY!" Okay, maybe just a little bit.. Tee hee!
Well back to it, it's kinda funny cause Natasya can't find her name in the registration list so she asked someone to help.. She was actually with this chinese girl but seeing me all alone (i think), she ditched that girl and came to me instead.. Until this day, i still don't know why she talked to me.. Well, one thing Natasya is a very friendly girl.. VERY! Haha..
So from that day, we're ever so close during our 2 years in ITE Tampines..

We had 3 girls in our class and all are Malays.. There's me, Arynne and of course there's Natasya, the other girl is Nurul(not real name).. We're like the 'Charlie's Angels', the imitation and the useless version, we go everywhere together.. When one of us wanna go to the bathroom, all three of us will go.. Only on occasion that i will not tag along cause i know they're actually stalking the twins in our school instead of going to the bathroom! Haha..
Natasya is so obsessed with those twins.. They're okay i guess.. Haha, one look like an emo and another look like a normal typical mat rep! Haha, it's so obvious which twin Natasya preferred, the MAT REP! Hua hua! "Kidding bitch!" Yah, we call each other bitch.. But whenever she talks about my Gothic stuffs being nonsensical, I'll just call her a 'minah' and she'll keep quiet.. Haha, cute ain't it! Okay, Nurul and I had a little thing for that emo shit guy but i decided to keep it clean cause i found out emo ain't my type.. AT ALL!
Hua hua, so all you emo guys out there.. "GO TO HELL!!" No, I'm just kidding.. Being emo ain't that bad.. Well, everyone of us have been THERE at some point of our life.. No no, i see you people shaking your head.. Don't deny that now okay, you know you did! Tee hee!
Yah well, atleast Nurul's cool whenever we see those twins in the canteen but Natasya, she'll be like "Eh! The twins! The twins!". She'll get all excited about it, which i think is weird.. "No big deal Natasya, they're just twins.. Not THAT hot!" Natasya has a very low taste in guys.. NO REALLY! Haha, whoever Nurul and I think is kinda average looking, Natasya will think he's gorgeous.. And whoever we'll think is gorgeous, Natasya will either think he's super gorgeous or that he's a plain John.. I guess it's true when they say that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.. Weird.. Haha..

Well, Natasya, Nurul and me are always together.. If we're late, we're usually late together.. If we're early, hmmz but then again, we're never early or in time for class.. Tee hee!
We walked to the interchange after school, eat outside during lunchtimes, played the playground! Yes, the playground!! Tee hee, i will never forget that day.. Natasya is always with her Britney Spears impersonation.. Nurul will always be at the pole, tossing and turning.. Me, well, I'm like the ring leader.. "Haha girls, remember when we played 'Fear Factor'? It's kinda stupid ain't it cause the kiddy's playground is not at all scary!! Whoever had the fastest time get fifty cents from each of us.. Lame ass right!! Hua hua"
Yah! We always watch movies too didn't we? Infact, we watched lots of movies together.. One of which is 'Wishing Stairs'! Haha, that story was so creepy that i freaked out when someone walked beside me.. Haha, but still after the movie, each time we climb up the stairs, we'll count it.. Kinda childish..

"Watched a movie with Malakian, Uzi, Abang Don and Smiley (all not real name) too, didn't we girls?" I think we watch 'S.W.A.T' right?? Haha, and we skipped all the lessons after lunch just to catch that movie.. Haha, i remember how we're all being very indecisive about skipping lessons.. The guys will be like "Eh, how about we skip Rahim's lesson?" and the girls Will be like "hmmz.. don't want ah.. eh okay ah.. eh wait..!" Hua.. So fickle..
We were walking to school back from lunch at a nearby coffee shop, selling really yummy Indian fried kway teow! Haha, Malakian was lazy to go to school so he was suggesting that we skipped.. Since we were unsure about it, Malakian took matter into his own hand.. "If my left leg reach the gate first, we'll go to school.. If it's my right leg, we'll skip school and catch a movie!" Haha, and he'll try his best to let is right leg go in the school gate first, even if it means skipping a step.. Cute.. Haha, but we're still being so indecisive that we walked to our locker area and still haven't decided what to do.. So, here comes 'Toss The Coin'.. "Head we'll catch a movie, Tail we'll skip school!" Hearing that and with noway to come out with a decision, we all decided to catch S.W.A.T.. It's was a cool movie, well of course since the ever-so-charming 'Colin Farrell' is one of the leading actor! "Haha, now aren't we glad we skipped school!"

Another movie we caught was 'King Arthur'.. It was a treat by Burn.. Hmmz, this time Nurul didn't come.. Who went huh? Oh yah.. Me, Natasya, Malakian, Uzi, Shah Kent, 'Badok', Wan Pendek, Shafa (Wan Pendek's girlfriend), a couple of Shafa's friend, of course Burn and Nora (Burn's high-maintenance back-then-current squeeze).. I think that's all.. I think i forgot others, sorry if i did.. We caught the night movie.. Malakian was like the Ladies man with me on his left and Natasya on his right.. Haha.. Ran into Abang Don's ex and he kinda asked Natasya to pretend to be his gf to make his ex jealous.. "Guys! Freaking childish, don't you think so?" After the movie, we kinda walked about aimlessly.. Haha.. Natasya and me went home earlier than them.. Around 10 plus, nearly 11 i think cause my mom's gonna freak out if i never reach home by 12.. Well, my mom was working night shift that time and i am, afterall a girl! Hua..

It's kinda funny that i don't look like i am.. I mean, i am into Gothic and all those metal bullshits but i don't look like it.. Haha, when those guy friends of mine first know me, they thought i was into those R&B nonsense.. When they peeped at my song list, they saw songs by bands like 'Quo Vadis', 'Dark Tranquility, 'SiSters of Mercy' and 'Nightwish'.. Malakian was like "you listen to this type of songs?? Unbelievable!" Haha, well people 'NEVER judge a book by its cover'.. You don't need tattoos to be a robber, do you?? *Smirk*
Well okay, i admit.. I do look more EMO than GOTHIC, right? Haha, well.. I don't like to show people than I'm into this or into that.. If you boast too much about being Gothic, or a metalhead, or even a punk emo rocker people might think you're a 'wannabe'.. So, i guess i hide myself very well.. Hua hua

Well, i kinda miss those days.. Haha, i have nothing better to do.. First i wrote about my secondary schoolmates, now my ITC schoolmates.. What's next?? My poly mates?? Sheesh! Well.. Ha, those were the days..

Nurul-
She's a pretty girl.. Smart and ever so loyal to her boyfriend.. I think they're still together since secondary school.. Cool! We're only close during the first year cause she was changed to another class during our second year.. But we're still friends nonetheless.. Love ya girl!

Natasya-
Hey bitch! Haha just kidding.. She's a 'minah-in-training'! Haha, the guys in my class call her 'Natasya Korz', long story.. Haha, well actually it's a short one but they were being personal so let's not talk about it.. Hua hua..
Well this girl, is the heart of the class.. Well, people make fun of her that's why! Haha, i remember Jay.. Whenever he wanna call Natasya, he'll say "Eh minah!" Hua hua.. Cute.. She's my project partner during the final year project.. Haha, we've had our problems during that time cause she does her part of the work last minute but it's all good in the end.. Love you bitch!

Malakian-
Dude! The best left-handed guitarist i know!! He rocks, HARD! A fun-loving guy.. Very cheeky.. Haha, always playing with the inside of his cheeks with his tongue just to tease me.. Big personality.. Very cute with his small chinese-like eyes.. Hee.. Miss you Malakian! We should hang out sometime k! And, you owe me a testimonial!! Grr!!

Abang Don-
This guy has the most charming smile ever! Haha.. Very funny laugh.. He'll burst out laughing anytime, anywhere.. Even during when the teacher was teaching and it's funny.. Everyone will laugh at him.. Abang Don, so cute!! Haha..

Burn-
Wee! My bestfriend in the whole group! We have different interest, different taste, different faith and different mindset.. He's into Drug Lord, while I'm into Bondage.. He's into Rasta while I'm into Gothic.. He's so reggae while oh so metal! But one thing keeps us together!! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!! Haha, he's my advisor.. I had a psychotic admirer in class and he was there to protect me, alongside the other guys.. Tee hee, thanx luv! You're the best, so keep on reggae-ing! Haha

Shah Kent-
So into Superman! That's why i call him Shah Kent! Haha, he'll have this Superman pendant which he will wear AT ALL TIMES! Hua hua.. Not that close with him, only an occasion lunching with the dudes, Hari Raya outing or movie gatherings.. Eh dude, you're damn sarcastic, you know that! But that's what makes you unique, my friend! Haha, let's go for movies someday k, with the others.. DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND K!!!

Uzi-
Uzi!! Haha, this guy is into black metal! Eyeliners, trench coat and even down to the leather boots.. Everything from that cool 'Matrix' shades, down to his black mobile phone covers.. Black! Total king of darkness.. FROM THE OUTSIDE!! Haha, kidding Uzi.. But dude, don't be too emo k! Girls come and go, but black metal lives.. So what if a couple of girls played you, you're still a great guy nevertheless! You're cool to talk to but sometimes you can be a bit dramatic.. So chill.. Live a little k bro!

Kinda miss the old days.. Wish i could hit rewind and do it all again.. Well i guess time waits for no one.. I was just hardly 18 that time, now I'm turning 20 in a couple months time.. Pretty weird.. The transition is too fast for me! Huahua, as long as i have my friends, my family and beloved Angel, things are going to be just fine.. "Love you guys lots! Muacks!"

Girls just wanna have fun!

So envious of Violet and OJ.. Though OJ is Violet's first boyfriend, they're as happy as can be.. Haha, it's weird how a guy can change you in an instant.. No, not in a bad way.. Violet used to be so rough but now, she's ever so demure.. She's more self-conscious than ever.. She never used to be so vain.. Yeah she's into make up and fashion but she never once cared about how people think about her.. Well, now.. Let's just say she's taking twice the time to get ready than what she took when she was single.. Tee hee.. "Lose the make up girl, let your natural beauty shine.."

I remember when the three of us (Violet, Hazel and me) wanna go out.. She's the first one to get ready, then me.. While Hazel always struggling with that hair of hers.. Haha, Violet hates to wait so she keeps mumbling and mumbling to herself hoping that Hazel will speed things up.. Tee hee.. They always used to argue because of that..

Violet: Hurry up lah.. (grunting) Why do you always have to take such a long time getting ready?
Hazel: You just wait.. When it's your time, maybe you'll be worst than me..
Violet: NEVER! (stern, storming out of the room)
Hazel: Attitude problem!
Violet: (mumbling to herself)

Haha.. Those are always our normal dialog when getting ready, isn't it? It's so fun thinking of the good old days with our stupid antics.. "We need a camera at your house Violet, cause there's never a dull moment everytime the three of us meet.." It's kinda funny how spontaneity can be hilarious! Miss those days!

Now Violet is always with OJ and Hazel is, well engaged and working so hard.. It's been so long since we had a girl's night out!
Remember when Skiddy used to live with Violet and Hazel, and i used to stay over just because.. "Haha, we have so much fun, didn't we girls?"
we always sleep late in the night, around 3 or 4 in the morning, and we have to wake up for school at 6! we'll laugh and make jokes as if there's no other people in the house.. Remember how Violet's dad, Uncle Jimmy used to knock on the door and with that stern voice of his "Eh! Korang tak tau tido eh?? (Hey, don't you people know how to sleep?)" It's so funny.. We'll just keep quiet for a minute and then we'll start with our stupid stuffs again.. Laughing all the way..
Whenever we have a conversation, Hazel will be all quiet..

Skiddy: Hazel. you sleeping huh?
Hazel: No, I'm just closing my eyes..

A few minutes later, she'll be snoring! Tee hee, she's so cute when she sleeps.. It's like having kung-fu lessons while you're in a ballerina tu-tu! Haha, i think she's having a duel with Jacky Chan or something in her dreams.. She talks in her sleep too.. "Remember when she talks about the monkeys in the cage while pointing to your wardrobe.. Pretty creepy huh?"

Used to hang out at my place with Sally, Belle and Violet.. Sometimes with Kat also right?? It's so fun isn't it? Watch VCD and eat instant noodles and ice cream.. Haha.. We'll be in my messy room, one will be on the computer.. The others will be sprawling on the floor while Violet hog the bed all to herself and I'll be on my mobile phone, talking to by back then current squeeze, writing our 'Perfect Angels' books.. "Hey Belle, what happened to the books? When you gonna type them and give it to us, since you're going to Australia soon!"
Whenever i went down to the shops for a while, i came home and my room will be so organized.. All thanks to Belle! She's the eldest among us and sometimes she's like our mom but she's so much fun.. So cute! Look like a kid instead of a teenager.. "Sorry Belle, just kidding.. Tee hee!"

We'll be sitting down in circles with that big square cushions of mine while I'll always be with my 'Matt Sanders'!
"Confessing to one another and talk about 'you-know-who' and how we want her out of our stories. Haha, it's all your idea isn't it Belle? To let her character go to a boarding school so far away from us! And how we didn't let her read the books with all that stupid reasons we made up.. Hua hua"

Had a surprise advance birthday party for Sally at our house! Bought this budget birthday chocolate cake.. "Remember the soggy fried noodles, girls? Haha, i totally can't forget about it!" I think sally was touched cause i can see the twinkle in her eyes..
The funny thing is, we were never THAT close with Sally until we found out we have one common enemy.. 'KELLY!' Haha.. No, we don't hate her, we just don't like her.. Cause she's a hypocritical, conniving and the most backstabbing whore I've ever met.. She's the lie in the LIAR.. Yah, we've had issues.. "Remember Hugh, girls? I used to have a huge crush on him, didn't i? Can't believe i teared(no, i did not cry) when i hear the stupid news.. Still dare lie straight to my face the day before!"
I can still remember that day, clear as crystal.. I know you people think i have nothing better to do but memorize dialogs all the time.. But i have a good memory okay! Don't blame me for that!

At the food court, after eating,
Kat: Girls, i have a confession to make.. I am NOT with Nic.. We're close but we're not      dating (with that stupid smirk on her face)
Violet: (rolls her eyes)
Kelly: And I have a confession to make.. (look at Arynne) I am with Hugh.. (smiles)
Arynne: (choked and whispers to Violet) Now i know how you feel.. (faked a smile while Belle and Sally looked)
Kelly: Okay, i think we need to go.. (went off with Kat)
Arynne, Violet, Belle and Sally hanged out at KFC with Natalie (Belle's younger sis)

Haha, i faked a smile but in my heart i was like "fuck you bitch! may you choke on your spicy soup and die infront of me! I'm gonna kill you and kick your manipulative ass down to hell!"

Ha, whatever! It's all history anywayz! High school! Such drama, such rumors, such lies!

Haha, i remember how all my girls used to call me a 'big flirt' just cause i was being 'friendly' with all the cute teachers in our school.. Belle will always be talking about Chris! Which will then end when she talks about Ken!
"Hey! We used to teased Sally with Tom right!!" Haha, Tom is a charming and a flirtish guy in our class.. He likes, no wait.. He LOVES to tease Sally.. "The flying kiss Tom gave Sally in class, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THAT GIRLS!!"
"How we used to think Farrah was much better than Mitch(we chose that name for her cause it rhymes with 'bitch', right!?) but in the end, we open our hearts to Mitch because she's obviously a much better friend.. Haha, you know what girls.. Mitch used to tell me that she don't like Farrah that much cause she gossips way toooooo much.. Uh-huh! Really!"

Belle-
I know how hard for you to get over Chris but hey, you did it girlfriend! Look at you now! Leading a much better life.. Happy and very jovial! Keep it up! Show him he made a huge mistake by not choosing you instead of Farrah! He just got screwed!

Sally-
Love you bestfriend! You're the best.. Remember how you used to get on my nerve whenever you talk about Judgment Day! It's pretty funny how fate works.. We never talked alot in school until in Secondary 3 where we're in the same class and look where we are now! Still as strong as can be.. You've been there for me through all my love problems.. Haha, you used to laugh at me for being 'boy-crazy' and keep jumping my target from guy to guy, even to the teachers! Weird! But hey you! When you're ready to find a boyfriend, tell me! Haha, I'll be the most happiest person and then we'll have a celebration when you have your first boyfriend!

Kat-
It's been so long since we all hanged out.. She's pretty.. She loves my hair, a lot! We both have black straight hair and when she cut her hair, my hair was longer than her! She'll be all over my hair.. I think she missed her hair, that's why!

Phoebe-
This girl is gorgeous! Loves her hair.. It's hot! Haha.. She's very funny.. Love her lots! She's very slow in getting jokes.. She'll only laugh when we have stopped laughing, and then we'll continue laughing cause she's just so cute!! And she loves to pinch my cheek! Especially when i laugh or smile.. I already have a chubby cheeks to begin with, when i laugh it'll get chubbier cause of my cheekbones and she'll just pinch it so hard like there's not tomorrow! And boy, does she know how to pinch! Haha..

Kelly-
Well, though we've had had issues in the past.. I just hope she's doing fine.. Didn't see her ever since the day we had our o-levels results which is like ways back! Only bumped into her once at Pizza Hut in Plaza Singapura i think? I can't remember, still so long ago.. Whatever..

Violet-
My beloved cousin.. I just wanna say that you've found yourself a great guy.. Even though OJ has a pretty bad mood swing at times, he's a nice guy.. So give him a break and quit giving him a hard time.. You're lucky to find yourself someone who can tolerate your nonsense! Tee hee.. Love you sis, don't take it to heart k! We grew up together and we know more about each other than our parents know us.. So yeah, when i was in my zone, you pulled me out of it.. Thank goodness there's you.. Now, I'm telling you.. Don't think unnecessarily cause it'll backfire on you.. OJ is a great guy so stop being so insecure about yourself.. You're a beautiful human being, inside and outside, so don't think too little of yourself..

Arynne-
That's me! Haha, I'm still finding my purpose in life.. Can someone please show me the way? For now, i guess I'll take one day at a time.. With Angel by my side, i hope i can take whatever things that are being thrown at me! I fear losing Angel for nothing is forever.. For now, let me just live my dream that i finally found my 'Gothic Fireman' in Angel..

Love you girls so much even though we have our problems.. Which friend doesn't right?? Love you all the most! Don't forget me k, even though we all have our own lives to lead...

Its time to take our chance, you gotta sit back and hold tight

First of all, I'd like to thank Storm for the wonderful comment.. Though, I've not felt the love of which you talked about, I'd still like to thank you.

Well, i had to teach this primary 2 boy math.. He's actually very bright but he's a bit slow in picking up things.. I have to be brutally honest that i have no patience teaching kids like him but we're one family afterall.. The funny thing is, he don't even know what what's 5 multiply by 1.. So i have to draw marbles in groups, then make him count them.. I forgot my primary 2 work! All those model drawing and stuff.. But thank goodness i manage to recover from it.. I don't think I'm a good teacher.. Haha, i suck at teaching.. Another thing about this kid is that, he wouldn't tell me if he can't understand.. If i asked if whether he understands, he'll just say yes.. Thanks to my psychology class, i know how to read body language.. I think he's scared of me or something.. Yah, i admit i have a fierce look everytime i teach someone.. I have absolutely no patience when i teach.. I prefer it if that person can get it just once after i taught them.. I hate repeating myself especially if it's over the same problem.. Usually I'll just give up if they still cant understand after i repeat myself 3 times.. I HATE TEACHING!

Anywayz, i can't wait for my results.. Pray that i need not take the supplementary paper.. Haha, wow! I can't believe I'm gonna be in Year 2 when school reopens in October.. How time flies, i can't believe it's already been a year since i joined Temasek Engineering School.. I wonder what i did this day about one year ago.. **wonder** I cant remember.. Haha, but whatever it is, I'm sure I'm having fun.. Or am i? Whatever! Haha..
I kinda like being in polytechnic.. Though my classmates are not as fun as the ones in my secondary school, i like the uniqueness each individual brings.. It's weird how i think I've changed but is still me at the same time, you know what i mean? I think being in poly makes me more independent and stronger.. It's like a battlefield in there.. Everyone's trying to beat everybody, just to be number 1.. Even the less motivated students i know, turn things for the better once they join poly.. I'm proud of myself for getting this far.. Even though i took the long way by going to Higher Nitec first before reaching poly, i have no regrets..
For all of you who looked down on me, I'd just like to say.. "Thank you.. Thank you for always giving me a reason to fight on.. To move onwards and never give up in everything i do.. Thank you for being the motivation i need to succeed.. Thank you for being the answers all this while i seek.. My family may not be as well to do, as pious or even as together as your family, but they are always there for me.. They always gave me they're support.. They're there to educate me to be a better human being.. Atleast I'm happy with myself.."

I need money! Ha, i wanna work but I'm not sure whether i can cope with studying and working at the same time. My parents want me to concentrate on my studies but i know how they're struggling with work just to earn that little extra on the side to see that my dreams are kept alive.. I wanna help them with their finances but they keep rejecting my offer.. I love my family, i truly cherish them cause i know I'm nowhere without them.. Yah, so what if they're divorced, atleast they still care for me.. I know there's nothing positive about having your parents living at opposite ends of Singapore but let's look at the bright side, atleast i have two houses to live in.. Two birthday celebrations, two different allowances.. Hey people, don't feel bad for me.. Though my parents are no longer together, i know I'm still lucky to have them.. They love me, they care for me.. I know they still love each other and that's all that matters.. "Love you mummy, love you daddy!"
The only thing I've always wanted though, is to spend one day, just one day if not forever, with the both of them at the same time.. Just have dinner or watch movies, or even talk for a while without having to throw sarcasms at each other, or going at each others throat. I guess that's what I've been living for.. The hope that one day my parents will leave their ego and differences aside and just be a family again.. For now, i guess dreams are all i have..

Angel told me in love we have to take risks.. I'm trying my best to open up my heart to him, to take this risk of which he speaks of.. I hope he'll give me some time to remove those brick walls that's protecting my heart all this while.. Being with him is the best thing that happened to me.. Thanks to him i have someone to love (besides my family, of course) and of course i have someone to love me.. It's weird saying the word 'love' about someone other than my beloved family but its a nice feeling..
I told Angel that money is very important to me.. Ha, i don't know what he's thinking after that cause he just kept quiet.. I also told him that if a rich old man comes in and proposes to me, I'd say yes just because he's rich and not because i love him.. I sound like a gold digger, don't i? I hope Angel's not upset with me just because i said that..
I know he's trying very hard to get a stable job just to satisfy my hopes and dreams but the truth is, I've never once demanded him of anything.. Yah, i love money.. I'd love to have things that will make people green with envy.. Of course I'd love to have all that and more.. But never in the slightest moment did i think of forcing him just to get what i want.. I don't know, maybe i gave him the wrong idea.. Not sure what but maybe i did..
"The truth is Angel, I'm not with you just because of money.. I know how hard you're struggling to save up to continue with your studies.. You don't have to worry about that.. I like you, i really do.. You know how i feel about you and thank you for returning that feelings too.. You have no idea how happy you make me feel.. All those laughs are not at all fake, they're real.. I hope you do realize that.."

L.O L.O L.O.. L.O.V.E

Hola everybody.. So, how's everybody doing now?? Haha, well.. Went out with Hazel, Violet and Aunt Maz on Monday to Arab street to buy cloth for Hari Raya this year.. I bought black this year and Angel was happy about it.. Weird.. Haha, who ever said i wanna wear same colour as him.. So thick skinned.. "Haha.. Kidding darling, sorry!"
Well, it's been so long since we went out, just the four of us together.. Even though Aunt Maz is my aunt and their mom, we're like sisters.. I share with her most of my problems like how i share with my two cousins.. It's cool to have her as a friend, sister and an Aunt.. Well, of course she has to be strict when it is time to, but she can be as fun as hell.. An original rock chick, she's the most sporting mom I've ever seen.. Haha, well my mom is too but whatever she think is funny, i think is lame.. Whatever i think is cool, she said it's EVIL! Ha.. I love my family.. I can't stress enough how deep my love for my family goes..
Anywayz, went to Arab street to buy the cloth.. Violet's blue cloth was gorgeous.. But i already told Angel I'd buy black and Violet make it clear to all of us that she WANTS blue! Haha, Hazel bought brown i think.. It's cool, i like the brown.. And Aunt Maz bought silverish gray.. Wow, so ROYAL! Haha, Violet labeled her as 'Datin Maz'.. SO cute!
After we bought the cloths, we went to Raffles Hospital for our dinner.. No, we did not eat hospital food, silly! There's a banquet there right.. Yeah, we ate there.. Me and Hazel had fish and chips, Violet had chicken chop and Aunt Maz had beef fried noodle.. Haha.. It was yummy! Tee hee!!
After we ate, we went to Seiyu to buy MONOPOLY!!Haha, yes you heard it right! MONOPOLY! Anywayz, it's been our favourite game since like FOREVER!! Haha.. Whatever..

Angel and I had a heart to heart talk yesterday.. He noticed that I've been pulling out of the relationship lately.. Haha, yes, i finally said the word RELATIONSHIP.. Angel had doubts on me being serious about him.. I'm not gonna go into details cause it is afterall my personal love life problem.. Hua hua..
Truth is, i never once said the words 'I Love You' to him.. He did said it once or twice but i got upset over it.. I find it weird, that's all.. It's not that I'm not serious about him.. I can honestly say that i am serious, maybe too serious that's why i backed down just a little.. Call me selfish but i just don't wanna let myself get hurt again.. I've been thinking too much of my own feelings that i totally neglect his.. Just wanna let you all know that we've worked things out! Haha.. So all you girls out there who had or have designs on MY Angel, (emphasizing on the MY) FORGET ABOUT IT!! HE'S MINE, ALL MINE!!!! Haha..

"Dear, even though i may seem distant or never really said the word LOVE, i just want you to know that i really really do care for you.. I never once had doubts about your feelings for me.. It's just me.. I guess i was too consumed in guarding my own feelings that i neglect yours along the way.. Don't you worry about me not being serious in this relationship, cause i am.. About expressing the word Love, I'll just let it come as it is.. Heart you always!"

Busy busy little bumble bee

Hola!! Hmmz, well I'm actually pretty bored that's why I'm here writing another blog.. Haha..

It's been 3 days after my final paper.. Need to wait three weeks for the results.. Imagine the torment i have to go through waiting or Judgment Day.. Okay, i make it sound so serious.. It's just exam results, what's the big deal right?? It is a big deal! I worked my butt off on this exam just to try to maintain my 3.25points GPA.. Ask Angel, he can vouch for me.. Haha..

"Hey girls! When are we gonna go out?! It's always a last minute thingy for you girls, isn't it? Haha, when i can't go out, you girls have plans for an outing.. when i wanna go out, you, Sally have to work.. And that same goes to you Belle.. Haha"
We must plan something fast before I'm bored out of my mind! It's been so long since me and my girls hang out.. The last movie we saw was X-Men:The Last stand.. Even though, that day i personally told them i wanna watch something gross.. Haha, but Belle isn't really that kind so we kinda compromise on X-Men3.. Hey! It's atleast better than watching "She's the Man!", although i think that one of the leading actor in that movie is pretty HOT.. Haha, Channing Tatum, i think.. "Isn't that right Violet? Haha, i saw the way your eye sparkle everytime he went on.." Yeah he's pretty cute.. Violet say he looked like M.Shadows, minus the tattoos, piercings and that goth make up.. She's actually quite right, the only difference is M.Shadows has a more mature look..

You know what's funny.. I think i attract younger guys.. Somehow.. Weird, i know! Haha.. There's this one incident in the bus where i sensed someone was basically staring at me.. It's pretty funny.. As in funny strange.. The thing is, when i turn to look at him he looked away and when i look back outside the window, he continue staring at me.. That's not the weird part yet.. Haha, when it's my time to alight from the bus, he followed.. I was walking pretty fast and didn't even know he was tailing me.. Haha, and i felt a tap on my shoulder.. He asked me if he could get to know me.. I just answered him "for what?".. You know what his reply was, he said i looked familiar.. "Sheesh dude! What lame pick up line!"
I feel that if you wanna get to know that someone, just go straight to the point and not give cheesy lines like that.. But he's younger than me so whatever.. Have to excuse him on that..

Haha.. Well, I've been thinking.. When i was single and basically very available, not many people tried to get to know me.. I wasn't surprised though cause i know I'm not the type of girl that guys will get attracted to, but whatever you know.. Well yah, but now that I'm with Angel and technically off the market, people keep approaching me.. Is it normal?? Haha.. I was single for more than 8 months and not many were interested in me.. Now I'm happy with Angel, you guys trying to ask for my number?? Ha, i don't think Angel's gonna appreciate me giving my number to other guys.. Oh well..

Ha, the latest testimonial Angel gave me was pretty suggestive.. Some of my guy friends asked me what we did.. "Should i tell them Angel??"
Haha, seriously people.. Get a life! What Angel and i do or did not do is none of your business! *Evil laugh*
I don't think Angel would want me telling other people either.. It's our dirty little secret.. Haha, speaking of secrets.. "I'm winning right Dear? Haha, no matter how hard you try to dig out those dirty secrets of mine, you can never win! Haha, i think I'm a better secret digger than you.. That's why I'm winning! Like i said before darling, YOU'LL NEVER BEAT MY SCORE!"

I'll never join your side..

I'm sitting on the floor right now infront of the stupid laptop in my t-shirts and shorts drinking a cup of hot tea while trying to think about what to write.. Hua, lame shit i know! But whatever yah??

Finally, I'm done with my exams!! No more papers.. Well, hopefully no more cause i so don't wanna take on the supplementary papers! The exams have emotionally, physically and mentally drained me! I think i slept the whole afternoon on the day i finished my exams.. I didn't even reply to Angel's smses and missed calls.. Ha, but I'm so glad he understand.. I'm totally having flu right now.. I think it's the after-exam-sickness syndrome.. Lame i know!! But i can't stop sneezing and my head's feeling groggy! The cup of tea worked for a while and now I'm back to square one.. My mom's nagging at me, for me to take that stupid flu pill.. I don't want to cause it'll knock me out in no time and i don't wanna go to sleep just yet! Hua hua.. I wish my mom will stop her nagging cause it's giving me a headache! But i know she cares.. "Love you mummy!"

Singapore Idol, haha.. Finally! Joakim is out.. Singaporeans are not tone deaf fucks afterall.. I was kinda frustrated when Rahimah (though i hate her to the core) got voted off, followed by Mathilda and Nurul.. It's kinda stupid that people keep voting off the wrong people.. Though i hate how fake Rahimah Rahim was, she actually did have a nice singing voice.. As for Mathilda, come on people!! She has the best voice in the competition, yeah, i know sometimes she over-perform but who cares!! She's an ultimate singer.. For Nurul, though her voice sucks sometimes, she still have better voice quality then Joakim and Paul pulled together.. But oh well, who am i to judge.. Back to Joakim, aren't you people glad he's finally out? I know i am! He makes Singapore Idol look like a joke.. I don't know why the judges bring him in the competition in the first place.. My mom was upset Joakim got voted out, cause she wants Paul to be out just because she don't like how Paul looked like.. "Reality check mom! Joakim isn't that good-looking either!" I don't know if it's just me but i think he's a bit cross-eyed.. Haha.. But I'd pick Paul to stay in the competition than Joakim anytime!!
But by now, i think everybody knows that my votes are for Hady Mirza! Haha.. I think Hady is pretty cute.. Definitely a charmer, and when he performs, it feels like he's looking directly AT you! Haha, I'm a sucker for charming guys with captivating eyes.. It's all about the eyes, baby! Well, it's just something in his eyes that makes you feel he's singing just for you and only you.. He can serenade me anytime, I'm not gonna complain! Tee hee!!

Angel's gonna be so jealous that I'm writing about Hady! Haha.. Angel's always telling me that Hady's gay.. Rude right? Haha.. I think he's just being territorial! It's kinda sweet but i mean come on, it's not as if I'm gonna get Hady! You know what i mean?? It's just a phase everybody go through.. He's a celebrity, it's only natural that i have a little teeny weeny crush on him.. Just like my crushes for M.Shadows and that hot cutie, Criss Angel..
But whatever it is, I'm assuring Angel that he's the only one in my heart.. Tee hee..

I think Ruffael (previously known as Tom is my past posts) is kinda upset about me being with Angel.. He smsed me in the middle of the night about him being disappointed when he found out about Angel.. Seriously, i don't know what the big deal is.. I gave him a chance but he wouldn't seize it, so now it's MY fault?? I don't wanna dwell on something that will never happen.. You know what, i don't think i need to explain myself.. It's my decision to be with Angel and I'm happy with it! If Ruffael's not happy about it then he can deal with it in his own time! I did like him before but i think it was just charm on his part.. I don't know if i send him the wrong signal but if i did, i sincerely apologized.. But now I'm happy with all the decisions I've made and no regrets whatsoever.. FOR NOW, that is.. Tee hee! "Kidding Angel!"

Anywayz, i don't know what came over my mom! I woke up one day just to hear her nag about me not praying. She told me to start taking religious classes.. I was like "what the hell is wrong with her??" I jut woke up and the first thing you talk to me about is God? What a way to start the day.. Sheesh! It's not that i considered myself an Atheist.. To be one, you have to believe that God doesn't exist.. Well, it's hard to believe in him, isn't it when all this injustice is happening.. But oh well people, move on! Well, back to the subject. I don't consider myself an Atheist, i just don't have faith in religion or in God.. If he's as powerful as you people say he is, then why the discrimination, why the injustice and why the suffering..
Well, my mom can force me all she wants but i ain't budging.. I'm not gonna go against what i believe in.. For now, I'd rather not think about religion or God or whatever shits this thing comes with.. No, I'm not criticizing or insulting religion.. I respect it, i just don't have faith in it, just yet.. Till the day comes that i open up my heart to God's right path, I'd rather stand here alone and just take what comes my way.. To me, miracles and prayers just don't exist..