First of all, I'd like to thank Storm for the wonderful comment.. Though, I've not felt the love of which you talked about, I'd still like to thank you.
Well, i had to teach this primary 2 boy math.. He's actually very bright but he's a bit slow in picking up things.. I have to be brutally honest that i have no patience teaching kids like him but we're one family afterall.. The funny thing is, he don't even know what what's 5 multiply by 1.. So i have to draw marbles in groups, then make him count them.. I forgot my primary 2 work! All those model drawing and stuff.. But thank goodness i manage to recover from it.. I don't think I'm a good teacher.. Haha, i suck at teaching.. Another thing about this kid is that, he wouldn't tell me if he can't understand.. If i asked if whether he understands, he'll just say yes.. Thanks to my psychology class, i know how to read body language.. I think he's scared of me or something.. Yah, i admit i have a fierce look everytime i teach someone.. I have absolutely no patience when i teach.. I prefer it if that person can get it just once after i taught them.. I hate repeating myself especially if it's over the same problem.. Usually I'll just give up if they still cant understand after i repeat myself 3 times.. I HATE TEACHING!
Anywayz, i can't wait for my results.. Pray that i need not take the supplementary paper.. Haha, wow! I can't believe I'm gonna be in Year 2 when school reopens in October.. How time flies, i can't believe it's already been a year since i joined Temasek Engineering School.. I wonder what i did this day about one year ago.. **wonder** I cant remember.. Haha, but whatever it is, I'm sure I'm having fun.. Or am i? Whatever! Haha..
I kinda like being in polytechnic.. Though my classmates are not as fun as the ones in my secondary school, i like the uniqueness each individual brings.. It's weird how i think I've changed but is still me at the same time, you know what i mean? I think being in poly makes me more independent and stronger.. It's like a battlefield in there.. Everyone's trying to beat everybody, just to be number 1.. Even the less motivated students i know, turn things for the better once they join poly.. I'm proud of myself for getting this far.. Even though i took the long way by going to Higher Nitec first before reaching poly, i have no regrets..
For all of you who looked down on me, I'd just like to say.. "Thank you.. Thank you for always giving me a reason to fight on.. To move onwards and never give up in everything i do.. Thank you for being the motivation i need to succeed.. Thank you for being the answers all this while i seek.. My family may not be as well to do, as pious or even as together as your family, but they are always there for me.. They always gave me they're support.. They're there to educate me to be a better human being.. Atleast I'm happy with myself.."
I need money! Ha, i wanna work but I'm not sure whether i can cope with studying and working at the same time. My parents want me to concentrate on my studies but i know how they're struggling with work just to earn that little extra on the side to see that my dreams are kept alive.. I wanna help them with their finances but they keep rejecting my offer.. I love my family, i truly cherish them cause i know I'm nowhere without them.. Yah, so what if they're divorced, atleast they still care for me.. I know there's nothing positive about having your parents living at opposite ends of Singapore but let's look at the bright side, atleast i have two houses to live in.. Two birthday celebrations, two different allowances.. Hey people, don't feel bad for me.. Though my parents are no longer together, i know I'm still lucky to have them.. They love me, they care for me.. I know they still love each other and that's all that matters.. "Love you mummy, love you daddy!"
The only thing I've always wanted though, is to spend one day, just one day if not forever, with the both of them at the same time.. Just have dinner or watch movies, or even talk for a while without having to throw sarcasms at each other, or going at each others throat. I guess that's what I've been living for.. The hope that one day my parents will leave their ego and differences aside and just be a family again.. For now, i guess dreams are all i have..
Angel told me in love we have to take risks.. I'm trying my best to open up my heart to him, to take this risk of which he speaks of.. I hope he'll give me some time to remove those brick walls that's protecting my heart all this while.. Being with him is the best thing that happened to me.. Thanks to him i have someone to love (besides my family, of course) and of course i have someone to love me.. It's weird saying the word 'love' about someone other than my beloved family but its a nice feeling..
I told Angel that money is very important to me.. Ha, i don't know what he's thinking after that cause he just kept quiet.. I also told him that if a rich old man comes in and proposes to me, I'd say yes just because he's rich and not because i love him.. I sound like a gold digger, don't i? I hope Angel's not upset with me just because i said that..
I know he's trying very hard to get a stable job just to satisfy my hopes and dreams but the truth is, I've never once demanded him of anything.. Yah, i love money.. I'd love to have things that will make people green with envy.. Of course I'd love to have all that and more.. But never in the slightest moment did i think of forcing him just to get what i want.. I don't know, maybe i gave him the wrong idea.. Not sure what but maybe i did..
"The truth is Angel, I'm not with you just because of money.. I know how hard you're struggling to save up to continue with your studies.. You don't have to worry about that.. I like you, i really do.. You know how i feel about you and thank you for returning that feelings too.. You have no idea how happy you make me feel.. All those laughs are not at all fake, they're real.. I hope you do realize that.."
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