My hand is on the trigger, i'm ready to ignite..

"Let's go our separate ways.." Those words played in my mind over and over again.. My stomach cringed, my heart crumbled.. A wet sensation ran down my cheeks.. "What is that?" I wondered to myself.. I felt my face, now wet with my own tears..

It's weird.. I thought we could work through all the problem we have, but i guess this is the last straw for him.. I have to admit that this time, this is entirely my fault.. I sabotaged my own happiness..

This time there's no turning back. He already expressed to me what he wants and i have no choice but to respect it.. Half of my heart still wants him, still longed for him but do i have my say in this? Who do i have to blame for getting me here? Who do i have to blame for having my heart broken? No one else but me.. I'm to blame for whatever happens to me..

I have to say honestly, i didn't see it coming.. Even though this heart told me not to cry, to move on.. I can't control my emotions.. It's bizarre how love works.. How can you be so mean towards someone but still love him so much?

I have to admit, he broke my heart with those few words.. I do still care for him, i do still wants him.. Hell, i do still love him.. But for now, let's just move on with my life and let this unworthy love of mine go unnoticed..

I'm not gonna tell him that i still wanna be with him cause that's just so wrong.. After what he said, seriously how else can i respond.. I thought being with him can finally undo the curse of all the bad relationships i had.. I thought being with him, i can finally find someone to call my own.. But too bad, so sad.. Things don't always go my way..

I may act as if i don't care or unfeeling when he said those words, but only i know how i feel exactly.. He will never understand where I'm coming from.. He'll never understand my needs to be serious in a relationship.. But what's done is done.. All i can say is..

"Thank you Angel for the love and care you have given to me all this while.. It was great while it lasted.. I have to say I'm not at all ready to let you go, but hey I'm a big girl.. I'll be fine.. No one can ever replace the uniqueness you bring to my heart.. Thank you for being the great friend that you are.. Take care of yourself and hey, my door's always open for you.. Goodbye my sweet prince of darkness.."