That's what you get when you let your heart win

You have no idea how much I'm still not over what happened the other day! Like, seriously, i still can't believe i didn't keep my mouth shut!

Oh my goodness, what the hell am i doing, seriously?! I've been too honest with him and I'm not sure if it was a good idea.

Honestly, i do miss him but why do i have to tell him that?! I've tried so hard to forget about him. It's not easy cause truth be told, i don't want to. I don't know why I'm still waiting for him even when i know it's impossible, even in a million years. Even with all the things i do to touch his heart, i know he'll never fall for me.

History is probably gonna repeat itself and I'll be left with the broken heart again but it's not gonna be his fault. I just wanna make him happy even if i can't be with him. I get it, I'm being foolish but you all have no idea how i feel.

You assume you do, in actual fact, you all have not a slightest clue on how the situation really is. Everybody keep telling me to forget about him, okay, maybe you're right. This thing is actually i don't want to forget about him. It's the feelings i have for him that i wanna diminish.

That's two totally different things.

Until now, i still harbor feelings for him even when i know that it's only one sided. I know he don't feel the same but hey, i still gotta be honest right?

I don't wanna keep thinking about that anymore. Let's talk about other things.

For example, my psychological problem! Well, i assume that it is cause it's not a eating disorder.

Alistair suggested seeing a psychiatrist. Haha, i know right! I'm fat, ugly, and now I'm crazy! Nah, i know he don't mean it like that but maybe he's right.

Could be that it's not the image of my body that I'm worried about but eating itself. I'm wondering, could it be a phobia of eating?

Haha, hope not! I love food actually but i don't know why after i took that appetite curbing pills, all this started!

I'm becoming crazy i tell you!

Arun told me to higher my threshold for overeating. He could be right too yeah? I mean, i feel super guilty even after a piece of bread and it's like super stupid cause i feel disgusted at myself for eating.

Gah, i should book an appointment with the psychiatrist soon or I'll die of over worrying or something.

Having Arun as a friend really boosted up my ego. Tee hee. He said I'm pretty attractive and a little seductive. Haha, i know he's just being nice but i appreciate the effort for cheering me up.

Anyhoo

You all know what i hate? When the public transport is crowded during peak hours and you have nowhere to grab hold to and the only hand rail available is being occupied by ONE person.

Let me explain what i mean.

I'm talking about those people who hog onto the hand rail by leaning their body on it, or hugging the freaking pole as if it's made up of some precious shits.

HOW INCONSIDERATE CAN SOMEONE BE?!

When you stare at them, they'll think you're picking a fight! And when you tell them to move their hand nicely, they'll completely ignore you!

So to those people who like to do this type of things, please stop. it's inconsiderate, rude and makes you look like a lazy pig!

The only person that looks good leaning on things when he's standing up is James Dean. You're not him so please stop making yourself look like a pathetic dumb ass.

Pfft!