Day 25. Someone who fascinates you and why.

To be honest, i think people are gonna think i'm crazy, but it is actually Adolf Hitler.

Now, i am not one of those crazy people to be digging up his family history and what not, but i do feel like he was a very powerful individual.

I don't necessarily agree with his ways and i definitely do not give tacit approval to his actions with the gas chambers and what not.

I just feel like he was a very tactical person and also influential, in a way. He let his presence known and was just very assertive to what he wanted. He had a purpose and he went for it.

I don't know. He truly intrigues me. The kind of individual i would want to study in depth on. You know what i mean?

Haha, yeah. I know it's not really justifiable why i picked him, but i have always been curious about him ever since i started liking war histories. Haha

What about you guys? Who fascinates you?

Day 24. Your favourite movie and what it is about.

This is so easy. It is definitely "City Of God".

If i am not wrong, this is based on real characters and real events. In short, it is basically a crime movie based in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I think the time line is between end of 1960's and beginning of 1980's. In short it's just a story about drug lords, and their communities.

It's in Portuguese though, so you guys might want to see if they have it in English subtitles.

It is by far the best Language movie i have ever seen, other than that French movie. I definitely recommend this movie. Whether you're into crime movies or not.

Day 23. Pictures of 5 famous guys you find attractive.

In no particular order;

 James Dean

 Zacky Vengeance

Bruce Willis

 Ryan Gosling

Channing Tatum

Day 22. How have you changed in the past 2 years.

Other than the fact that i have stopped caring about those people who treat me as only an option, i think i have become more responsive to my own needs.

I have always put my family first before me, but i think i now know how to keep it balanced. I realized that i do need time for myself too, and that i cannot be selfish to myself.

I do love my friends, my family and my loved ones, but i have learnt to love myself first before anyone else.

There is no change in my trust area though. I am finding it too hard to trust people, as usual. Just, really not a good feeling to be wary of people all the time cause i get these thoughts in my head. Bad thoughts. It's getting a little bit overwhelming sometimes cause i don't know how to make it stop.

I mean, especially when it comes to guys and relationships. I try my best to be happy with the one i'm with and not compare him to the other guys who i don't want to associate myself with anymore, but it gets a little bit hard.

I want to be happy with the relationship and the guy, but when i feel like i am starting to get the hang of the idea that this guy makes me happy, i spazzed out.

I am trying though, one day at a time. So i'm just really lucky that this current guy is a patient one. Taking it step by step, trying to stop myself from thinking that everyone is just out there to hurt me. Yeah, it's gonna take some time, but i'm sure i'll be able to fight it.

So yeah, those are my little updates of what's happening in my head. Haha

Why not you guys tell me instead? I mean, those who do actually read my blog, if there is anyone. Tell me how i've changed over the years. How have YOU?

Day 21. One of your favourite shows.

TOO obvious! Haha

Day 20. How important you think education is.

Wow. VERY.

Well, to me personally anyway. I don't have the highest of education. I only have a Diploma. Even that, i had to work hard for it.

One thing maybe you guys don't know about me is that, i failed my O Levels terribly. It's embarrassing just even talking about it. I got 32 points, i think? I seriously just gave up during that period of time.

The funny thing is that, i loved school. I like going to school and i am one of those people who would do their homework in time and get good grades.

But when i was in secondary four, i just got lazy. Well, actually, i wasn't lazy. I just didn't bother, at all. I know i have to study, and i know i have to give it my all cause i feel like that's actually the start of the rest of your life, but i didn't care. I studied half an hour before the exams and just left a lot of the questions blanks.

I was really embarrassed when i get that kinda results cause my friends were all scoring with flying colours. They weren't the type to go out the night before the exams, they were the type who would meet up at the school or the library to study. I did follow them, but i seriously couldn't be bothered.

I got into Higher Nitec majoring in Engineering. I didn't like Engineering, but i am book smart, so i can actually just understand what's going on without liking the subject. I got really attentive during ITE, i tried so hard to compensate what i had lost during my O Levels.

I did score pretty well, and got recommended by the teachers to actually continue with my Diploma, so i did. I did well during polytechnic, all because i didn't want to feel useless like i did during my O Levels results.

So yeah, i think education is very important cause that's really your stepping stone to go out to the working world. But, don't get me wrong, experiences also plays a major part in surviving the real world.

It's really a mix of both, but i think education shapes you in a way. 

Day 19. Disrespecting your parents.

To be honest, i have been rude to them before. I won't sit here and pretend that i have never talked back to my parents before because i have.

It's part and parcel of growing up. Being rebellious and going against what your parents what you to do/be/say.

One thing about me is that, i always apologize after that. I will feel super guilty about being so rude to my parents, that i will seriously just think about it every minute until i apologize.

I adore my parents to bits, that is not a secret anymore.

I think that people who disrespect their parents are either retarded or just seriously lacking in attention. I can never understand how someone can talk bad about their parents to other people. I can never do that.

Even if my parents did something that i think is against what i believe in, i would never air my dirty laundry to other people. They are my parents. If i am not happy with them, i would talk to them about it, instead of talking to other people about them.

Honestly, i would rather you kill me than ask me to disrespect my parents. I don't even care if my life depended on it. Like, that shows how much i would never want them hurt, especially not my by words and/or actions.

Disrespecting your parents should be punishable by law. For real.