We can work without the perks just you and me

I find it super hard to find a guy who appreciates me for what I have done for him, appreciates me for being there and most importantly appreciates me for just being me.. Is it just me, or do you girls have the same problem??

I find it super hard to find a guy who worships the ground i walk on, who worships my flaws, who worships me for me..

I want someone who can make me smile to myself without even trying.. Someone who can make me miss him even when I'm having fun with my girlfriends.. Someone who isn't afraid to be himself even when he knows he's not the perfect guy out there.. Someone who is not afraid to try even when he knows he'll fail.. Someone who can make my heart beat slows and fast at the same time whenever i see or hear his name.. 

I like Joel, and i think he knows that.. He brings out the best in me.. He makes me smile to myself.. He worships me, the flaws, the quirkiness and everything..

Joel is sweet, nice and a little nerdy.. Not the kind of guy I'd go for physically but, what the hell.. It's just something in him that gets me attracted.. It's easy to make me laugh, but to make me smile?? Sincerely?? It's hard.. Joel is able to do that.. There's just something charming about him.. 

He called me his 'Sex Goddess', his 'baby' and his 'love'.. But at what point do i know that he means what he said, or just sweet talking for the sake of sweet talking.. You get what i mean?

Bleah.. I wanna know if he likes me like me, or like me as a friend..

Mommy told me never to go for sweet talkers, but i never listen..

Just shut up and drive..

First of all i would like to sincerely thank everyone who wished me on my birthday! Amy, who wished me at 12:01:31am! Haha, thanx babe for the wish!! Mikael, Miin, Paris, Mummy, Belle, Sally, Shelly! Who else!! Sophia, Arun, HolyLeo, Zack, DeadScarlet, Chaotic Kittie, Fyna and everyone else..

I'm sorry if i can't mention all of you but believe me, I'm touched and appreciated all your wishes! Thanx for all the advance birthday wishes as well!

And also the late birthday wishes.. It doesn't matter, really! Just as long as it's from the bottom of your heart, I'll accept it..! Thanx once again!

14th December 2007, Friday!
Woweee, woke up early to go to polyclinic.. I wasn't really sick, i just wanted to get MC for my birthday! Pretending to be sick was fun, i can improve on my acting skills! Haha.. Hazel accompanied me there so i won't get bored.. Anyhoo, i was supposed to look sick but ended up playing myself silly with the two kids infront of me.. Haha, we were playing war games.. I got shot twice and Hazel got shot once but she refuses to die.. Haha.. I decapitated this chinese kid cause he refuses to stop shooting at me even when i was clearly DEAD! No really, i was dead.. Haha.. Hazel refuses to look silly and she didn't pretend to die!! Haha, i think that's why the kid stopped shooting at her.. Bleah, i was a dinosaur too actually.. Growling at the kids just to intimidate them into giving me their toys! Haha.. Goodness, i was a kid myself!! I miss being childish..

Anyway, so it was my turn to consult the doctor.. I don't know how and what, but the doctor gave me MC for flu symptoms!! Haha.. Weird, i guess my acting did work!! Bleah, i shouldn't be putting this in my blog just in case my supervisor reads this!! Haha, whatever! I know he won't anyway.. So that's how i got my MC!

Registration time 10:56am, check out time 12:36pm!

Pfft, enough about my polyclinic escapades.. Haha, i bet you all don't wanna read about how i get my MC.. Haha, i know Sophia wanna read all about my birthday dinner..

Well, my birthday dinner isn't that exciting but i had fun because all my tightest girlfriends were there.. Belle, Sally, Hazel, Violet and Amy! I'm so happy that they are able to make it for my birthday.. It's by far the happiest birthday dinner I've ever had!! Really!!

We were supposed to meet at Violet's house at 2:30pm but i went out of the house at that time instead.. Hey, it's my birthday right.. I should arrive fashionably late!! Fashionably indeed, hardly my friends.. Well, i was all dressed up alright but i have no make up on.. So yeah, i went out of the house all dressed up with no make up! Haha, kinda cool come to think about it.. Thank goodness the weather was on my side cause it was raining so i have the umbrella to cover my face.. Haha..

I was wearing this black long sleeve top layered with a purple retro dress and black skinny jeans with black heels.. NO SPECS! Haha, i was wearing contact lenses and I'm loving it!!

Anyhoo, reached Violet's block and Sally was already waiting at the void deck.. She looks gorgeous with that 80's inspired dress she's wearing.. Haha, went up to Violet's house and took turns to be made up.. Yeah, i admit.. I can't wear eyeshadow to save my life.. I suck at it, but I'm learning though.. Lol, sorry for the sidetrack.. Yeah, Sally got made up and she looks hot!! Haha, Violet said, "Sally! If Frank see you like this.. Confirm he'll fall for you!"

Haha, Frank is this secondary schoolmate of ours.. We often teased the two of them together.. Nothing happened though! Too bad!

We went out around 4:30pm cause we have to wait for Violet to get ready!! Lol, but i have to say Violet made me up quite good.. I love the dark dramatic eyes!! Thanx babe!!

Lol, oh yah!! I forgot to say this.. My polymates called to sing me a birthday song!! Ain't that sweet!! WinnieC, Winnie, Mages and Joanne.. Thanx for the wishes!!

It was nearly raining so we took the cab and anyways, Belle was already waiting at VivoCity for us! Haha.. There were 5 of us, so we split 3-2.. Belle, Violet and Hazel was in one cab.. Sally and me in another, so i have no idea what happened at the other cab.. DO NOT ASK ME! Haha.. Sally and me were talking as usual and Tas called!! Oh yah, Tas!! Thanx for the birthday wish!

Haha, Hazel and the other girls' cab got caught in the jam! My cab driver was super clever that he avoided the jam-packed CTE!! Lol, but anyhoo they still reached VivoCity a few seconds faster than us.. Waited for Belle at Candy Empire cause she have no idea where to exit from the MRT station.. Lol, it is Belle's first time to VivoCity! Ain't that cute?!! Haha..

It's the first time Amy is meeting Belle and I'm glad that they get along!! Lol, even if they don't, I'll make them!! Amy thinks Belle is so adorable and Belle thinks Amy is a sweetheart.. It all worked out in the end..

When we met, we went straight to Earl's Swensen cause we were all so hungry! We didn't eat since morning, mind you! Lol, just so we can eat the food at Earl's Swensen..

Anyway, Earl's Swensen is another one of Swensen's franchised restaurants.. Gorgeous interior design with the most welcoming ambience.. The people there will greet you with their most sincere smile you'll ever see.. Friendly waiters and waitresses patiently wait for you to order your food..

Believe me you guys, do not have one thing in mind of what you're gonna eat when you reach there cause once you see the menu, you'll be faced with the most important decision of your life!

Seriously speaking, you will not know what to eat cause everything looks so delicious and jaw dropping.. We were even salivating when we see the pictures on the menu.. Haha, i think we took around half an hour to finalize our order.. We were looking around to see how big the serving size was, and it was HUGE!!

Comfortable seats with nicely aligned cutlery on the table.. They have the most professional service ever! You will never have an empty glass of iced water by your side.. The smell of freshly baked cheese and grilled seafood will hit you at all the right spots..

We actually wanted to order other stuffs but we suddenly changed our minds (again!!) when we saw how huge the servings were..

Violet, Belle and me ordered the Jumbo Chicken Frank.. 8" herb chicken sausage with Bolognaise sauce, cheese and mustard in a grilled bun, oven melted to perfection. Served with mixed salad and spicy U.S. fries..

Hazel and Amy ordered the Fisherman's Catch.. Breaded fish fillet, King prawn, calamari and ocean green mussels coated in different batters, fried golden brown, accompanied by U.S. fries and tartar dip..

Sally ordered Grilled Seafood Platter.. Grilled calamari, King prawn and crayfish with honey vinaigrette dressing, on a bed of savory rice..

See, even the though of it make your mouth waters.. Haha, maybe it's just me cause I'm so hungry but I'm too tired to eat lunch!

The food was delicious! The most tender and mouth-watering sausage I've ever tasted! Next time, i wanna try the double cheese burger! Haha..

After eating, my girls surprised me with this Birthday Ice Cream, with fire in the middle of 3 flavoured ice cream (strawberry, vanilla and chocolate), lined with fresh strawberries and sliced mangoes.. Finished it off with a helpful toppings of chocolate fudge! When the ice cream came, they sang the birthday song for me.. For which i nearly cried because i was so touched!! There was other 2 birthday babies that share the same birth date as me! Haha..

While we were eating, somehow we started talking about our birth time and what it meant.. Lol, whatever! Blame Animal Planets and National Geographic!! Haha..

The other girls ordered Ice Cream Fondue.. Chocolate fondue with 5 ice cream flavour (sticky chewy chocolate, thin mint, mocha almond fudge, strawberry, cookies 'N' cream), cherries, fresh strawberries and bananas, brownie and white blondie cubes, fan wafers and diced almonds.. I ended up eating the cherries, cause somehow the girls don't eat cherries except for maybe Amy..

Haha, what the.. How the hell did this end up being an editorial for Earl's Swensen.. Lol, maybe i should get paid.. But seriously my lovelies, all of you should go to this restaurant atleast ONCE in your life or you'll be missing a whole lot in life.. Haha

Lol, this post somehow ended up longer than i though, and i haven't even mention about the ice skating trip yet!!

Well, actually that's all for the birthday dinner cause after that we ended up looking for Shelly's birthday presents.. Haha

15th December 2007, Saturday!
My body is still aching since that ice skating outing the other day! This outing is actually to celebrate Shelly's 20th birthday and Arynne's 21st birthday which falls on 9th December and 14th December 2007 respectively.. Lol, people with the invitation should know the motive of the gathering already but this is for information just in case some people have no idea what it's for.. Okay, I'm blabbering again!

Anyway, once again.. We're supposed to meet at Jurong Entertainment Centre at 2:30pm but the Violet was totally not ready.. Haha, and Hazel was still make-upping.. Amy came late and i came even later.. Since i don't know how to do my eyeshadow, Violet have to take some time off of her dressing up time to make up for me.. Haha.. She's my make up artist!!

Anywayz, we left the house at around 3:00pm and got a cab immediately.. Once we got in the cab it was raining cats and dogs!! As you all know the JEC doesn't have shelter from the taxi stand to the centre itself so the cab driver totally made one big round to the carpark just to drop us off.. The best cab driver I've ever had! Haha.. His name is Cheng Hong Siang, cab number SHC1244X.. If you get him, make sure you give him the biggest tip ever for his service okay!!

Lol, reached JEC and met up with Paris and her boyfriend.. Waited for Shelly and her boyfriend.. Once they reached JEC, which was around 4:00pm!! Two and a half hour later, which was totally acceptable cause Shelly's boyfriend ride a bike and it's totally dangerous cause it was raining so heavily!!

Anywayz, they sang us a birthday song and we eat cakes.. Haha, gave Shelly her present after eating the cake and taking lotsa pictures.. Shelly cried when she got her presents.. We bought her a Minnie Mouse alarm clock, Minnie Mouse mini tumbler, Minnie Mouse frame and a Minnie Mouse mini plush toy.. Haha, we bought her Minnie Mouse's merchandise cause she LOVES Minnie Mousey.. Okay!! I'm blabbering again!

Let's jump straight to the Ice Skating fun, shall we?? Haha.. The next time you all wanna de-stress and have a hell lotta fun, go ice skating.. Fuji Ice Palace have this package where you go in groups of 4 (provided you come and exit together, of course!) and you can use unlimited time on the rink and the ice skates at only $54.70 and if you buy gloves which only cost $2 per pair, each of you will only pay a little below $20.. Isn't it worth it?? But of course, be sure you come with great company cause going around and around the rink over and over again can be a little boring..

If you know how to roller blade then, i guess it'll be much easier to grasp.. The only difference is that it's much more slippery than normal ground you blade with.. Violet thought me how to ice skate and within minutes I'm able to skate all on my own.. Haha, with speed and agility.. Well, not with agility cause i have no idea how to break! Haha, with speed definitely.. The faster you go, the more stable your balance become and then finally you get to skate without worries.. Lol, except maybe all the other skaters skating around and over you.. Be wary of that okay, haha..

I think we spent like 10 minutes just to get the tying of the ice skates correctly.. Lol, whatever.. I got cramps in just about half an hour in.. Lol, Violet told me it was too tight.. So okay fine.. But if was fun though..

We took alot of photos, that this one guy thought we were doing photoshoots! Haha.. The girls took photo with this kid.. Lol, we called him M.Shadows Jr cause he have all the mohawk going on.. Cute!! I'll post the picture once it's up in photobucket okay! Haha..

I fell ONCE! Haha, was skating with Shelly and Amy when Shelly suddenly fell.. I don't know what happened but Amy fell after that.. Haha, and her skates hit my skates and i fell on all fours (my knees and my palm supporting me up)! Truth be told, i wasn't embarrassed at all cause that's like part of the fun right!! Haha..

There was this one Indian guy who keep trying to strike a conversation with us.. Lol, i guess he was pretty sweet cause he tried to talk to me but i was skating so i just gave him a flirty smile.. Haha..

Hazel fell like twice! Haha.. Amy fell more than 4 times i think, and whenever she fall she'll take someone with her! It was fun!! Haha..

The 6 girls were holding hands and skating around the rink, haha and i guess that creates alot of attention cause each one of us look super single and super gorgeous, if i can say so myself.. Haha..

We get to see them resurface the ice and with all the professional skaters skating.. It was such a sight!! Haha.. The songs were fun and we started dancing while skating.. Amy fell again!! Haha, Amy and Hazel fall flat on their butt! Lol.. But i guess that's the fun of it..

We skated from 4:30pm to around 8:00pm.. But i kinda stop half an hour to eight cause i kinda felt down for a little.. I think i missed Joel, haha whatever.. He probably wouldn't care anyway..

After that, we went to Jurong Cafe to have our late dinner!! I ate Ayam Penyet, and it was delicious, much better than the one at Lucky Plaza, really! You all should try okay..

After dinner, Hazel met up with Abang Dy.. Shelly and her boyfriend went home.. Paris and her boyfriend also went home.. So Amy met up with her friend, Bobo.. Haha.. Violet, Amy, Bobo and me hung out at the void-deck till like a little above midnight.. Goodness, you have no idea how sleepy i felt.. And how down i was when Joel didn't reply my sms..

Lol, whatever.. Woweee.. Such a long post.. Sorry, but do be patient reading this okay! Haha.. Love you lovelies!!

Another meaningless update!

PROJECT JUDGING TOTALLY SUCKS.

TALKED TO JOEL FOR A FEW MINS. I STILL MISS HIM.

MIKAEL IS STILL A FRIEND.

SOPHIA IS IN THE FRENSHIES LIST IN MSN.

14TH DECEMBER 2007, BIRTHDAY DINNER AT VIVOCITY.

15TH DECEMBER 2007, 2:30PM AT JURONG MRT. ICE SKATING.

RYAN IS JEALOUS FOR NO REASON.

ADAM'S BOYFRIEND IS STILL HOT.

AKON JUST TEXT MESSAGED ME.

FYNA WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE NEXT POST.

K BYE!

Just an update..

PROJECT JUDGING AT 2:40PM TODAY.

DIDN'T TALK TO JOEL FOR TWO DAYS, I MISS HIM.

DECIDED TO STOP CONTACTING MIKAEL.

WISH SOPHIA ALL THE BEST WITH HER GUYS AND TWIN PROBLEMS.

14TH DECEMBER 2007, MY 21ST BIRTHDAY.

15TH DECEMBER 2007, HOPEFULLY MEET AZ AND ELFIRA.

RYAN BEING AN ASSHOLE, BUT I STILL LOVE HIM.

ADAM FOUND A NEW BOYFRIEND, AND HE'S HOT.

AKON CALLED ME. NOT THE RAPPER.

PROMISED FYNA I WRITE ABOUT HER. NEXT POST K!

K BYE.

But the fact remains, that this is nothing new

I've lost my mojo!! Lol, not the Austin Powers kinda type but, i think I've just lost my juices to blog..

Well, yes i am blogging right now but you know what i mean..

I've lost the ability to blog! Or have i? Hmmz, let's think about that now.. Haha, cause I'm definitely blogging right now.. Haha, I'm blogging about having nothing to blog about.. WHATTT!! But, if I'm blogging about having nothing to blog about, isn't that blogging about SOMETHING?? Irony is super cool! Haha

Anyhoo, what I'm trying to say is.. There's nothing interesting that happened the past few days that makes me wanna blog.. Well nothing that involves the privacy of other people anyways.. Haha, see I'm not at all self-absorbed cause i do blog about other people in the midst of blogging about myself.. Bleah, i don't know if you people realize this, but I've used the word 'blog' and 'blogging' too many times! There it goes again!

Well, it's lunch time here but I'm not going for lunch AGAIN.. No, I'm not on a diet cause i feel that dieting is a waste of time, with all the deliciously sinful food that can be found at every nook and cranny of Singapore! Oh yah by the way, talking about food.. Lol, be very careful when you eat cakes or pastries at PrimaDeli okay :)

Okay yah back to why I'm not going for lunch.. I'm saving up my money for 14th, 15th and 31st December.. Goodness, i have to buy presents for those December babies.. Heyy!! It's my birthday too you know!! Haha..

14th December outing is truly gonna be one of the best birthday dinner ever! Although not many are going but I'm very contented that my tightest girlfriend are coming to celebrate my 21st birthday dinner.. I'm happy, truly and really am.. Amy, Violet, Hazel, Sally and Belle.. My bestest girlfriends ever!
Lol, anyway Belle decided to join us last minute.. Tee hee, i don't mind! I'd love for her to go! She called me yesterday and said that Sally told her we're going for my birthday dinner on that day..

So with her cheerful, innocent voice she jovially chirped, "Can i come??". "Oh my goodness! Of course you can!" i exclaimed!

Haha, Belle is one of my bestest friend ever since secondary school days.. I'll be more than happy to let her join us.. If Kak Sherry confirm with us that she's coming, it'll be the most happiest birthday dinner i will ever have.. EVER!

15th December, Ice Skating outing! Wowee zoweee! As previous posts have proved.. I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS OUTING!! 8 to 10 of us are confirmed.. So whoever got the invitation, please do confirm with us okay!

31st December, New Year's Eve.. We're probably just gonna walk around town and do something foolish and crazy like what we always do everytime we meet.. Ha, play Old Maid in Starbucks, play Donkey with stupid penalties like licking the filthy street lamp.. Haha, pole dancing in the middle of Esplanade.. Oh, and not forgetting taking crazy pictures at the void-deck.. Goodness, how i miss those times..

Lol, of course.. We're going Dutch! 

Selfish beneath the skin, but deep inside i'm not insane

Good morning my lovelies! It's a lovely morning today, isn't it? It's like 11:35am now, so by the time i finish this post it's probably be like around noon, so i wanna wish you honeys out there 'Good Afternoon, and have a nice day!'

So yesterday i found out that i have somewhat a loyal reader.. Mikael's girlfriend, hmmz let's call her Sophia.. Yes my babies, you've read it right.. That cutesy guy from Pizza Hut already have a girlfriend.. Awww to all of those still interested in him.. Haha.. Sophia's pretty, tall and lanky.. Scarily skinny for my liking but gorgeous nonetheless.. Really, go check her out.. Lol, well of course I'm not gonna tell you guys her profile url cause she's attached to my best friend! *Muahaha* Always save the best for the ones i love *smiles* Well, not like i have anything to do with them getting hooked up.. Haha..

Anyway, yesterday she told me she's an avid reader of my blog.. I'm sincerely touched to know that i actually have a fan.. Lol, not as famous as XiaXue YET but hopefully soon I'll be able to be a Blogging Goddess just like her.. Believe it or not people, XiaXue is my blogging role model.. She don't care about what or who she offend as long as she's telling it as it is, and it's doesn't go against her beliefs.. For that, i worship her..

Yes, my blog posts are mostly nonsensical and inferiors stuffs.. Mostly of course it's about yours truly *smiles* But, so what? It's my thoughts and feelings after all.. If you love my candidness and frankness, stay.. If you hate my shallowness and my love for the self-respect of women, leave.. You've entered the wrong blog if you want all posts to be sweet and dandy.. World peace and love are not me, although i am very much against hurting the innocents.. I hereby solemnly swear that everything i blogged about or soon to be blogging about here is true, or as true as i think it needs to be..

Anyway, i just found out that for every fan you've got, you also have an equal number of haters, give or take a couple.. Well, so i was skipping happily to school while stopping to smell the roses and saying hello to that little bumble bee while benevolently smiling to that belligerent drunk across the street.. Okay, so it didn't happen like that but don't you wish sometimes you could be as carefree and child-like like that.. Well i do.. *smiles*

Bleah, back to the topic I'm supposed to be bitching about.. Well as i was saying before i get so rudely interrupted by my imagination, i realized that people hate you for the most unsophisticated reasons ever.. I mean, can you REALLY judge someone without knowing that person first? Some people immediately think you're haughty just because you don't smile or just because you're talking with a slight accent.. I mean, seriously, think about it.. What if, you go around smiling all the time, even when people are not smiling at you, don't tell me you wouldn't think that that person have something wrong up there somewhere.. You get what i mean?? I get called snobbish all the time just because i have a fierce face and most of the time i don't smile.. I'm a nice person, really! *smirk*

Okay so, i opened my email today i get messages from unknown people.. Me, being a blur cock (no wait, maybe i should say blur pussy? haha) that i am, without even bothering to read the title of the message, clicked on it and read it.. "Bla bla bla ugly, bla bla bla wannabe, bla bla bla pathetic" Okay, so by those 3 words you can tell that that person is totally trying to hurt me in some way.. Lol, no seriously people humor me.. Tell me something i DON'T already know.. You telling me I'm ugly is equivalent to teaching a duck how to swim.. TOO OBVIOUS! I'd probably respect you if you tell me something that i myself don't know..

I'm born ugly, so what do you want me to do?? No tell me, seriously WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?? Isn't it stupid to judge people just by the way they look.. Please, you people are nothing but an insignificant stranger in my passing life.. Not even long enough to actually leave a footprint.. The probability of you guys trying to bring down my self-esteem is almost infinitesimal to nothing.. As long as i have friends, family and Ryan thinks I'm hot, who the hell cares about what you think of me..

And what's all these about me being a wannabe? What? Is there anywhere in the law or bible or Quran that states that if i listen to Metal, i can't listen to HipHop?? Did i ever say I'm Goth? Emo? Punk?? I didn't, read my profile, read my blog.. If there is any post in this god forsaken blog that imply anything about me telling you guys that I'm into a certain kind of 'scene', please feel free to scrutinize me.. If not, screw yourself *smiles*

Oh yah, people reading this who actually chats with me in MSN.. STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!!

I have to be in school for 5 days a week, including Fridays from 8:30am to 5:30pm.. If you see me around that time on MSN, do not ask me 'ARE YOU IN SCHOOL?!' I'll fucking whack you on your stoopid head!

ANOTHER ABRUPT END!

Brutally scarred and insanely murdered

Ignore the title, it's pathetic.. Nothing's going through my mind right now.. I have to complete my pathetic little car model by Friday as the judging's next week.. Can you believe it?? 8:30am to 5:30pm, everyday 5 days a week, including Friday! Ha, the madness of major projects..

Anyhoo, i can't stress this enough! I CAN'T WAIT FOR DECEMBER 15TH! Haha, miss you girlfriends!

Well, nothing much happened in the weekend except that my cousins and I went to Bedok to order some engagement stuff.. I'M GETTING ENGAGED!! NOT! Bleah.. Hazel's engaged, Abg Charlie's getting engaged, and soon Violet's getting engaged in April 2008 (insyallah)! Lol, celebrities getting divorced and civilians getting hooked up, how ironic is that..

Anyhoo, sorry for the sloppiness and the usage of stupid words for my blog today.. I'm just so absent-minded and terribly lethargic!

Yeah, we went to Bedok to buy the stuffs and then Hazel and Abg Dy went to Mustafa Centre.. For some reason, they don't want me to follow *hint hint*! Lol, i think they're buying my birthday presents! Haha shameless bugger!

So Violet, OJ and I went to Tampines Mall cause Violet needs a pair of shoes.. Whatever, after that we went home by taking 39 cause 969 was terribly packed..

Ha, oh my goodness.. Seriously i sound so dumb today, can somebody come and save me!? Haha, anyhoo to make a long story short, Violet thinks she looks like a transexual.. Whatever bitch..

Oh and and and, to all my girlfriends.. No seriously, I've gotten over him.. Not in denial anymore.. Haha, I'm so over it..

Gonna go look for myself a rich Italian basketball player with black hair and green eyes, hopefully someone who drives a hot Lamborghini..

I'm stupid today, ignore me!