I'm so over that dude..

"When you start caring for someone so much, you'll get scared of losing that person and even the most secure person will get insecure.." Make sense, doesn't it? You see, Angel never understood how he and the relationship affected me..

Truthfully, i never saw how incompatible we were before problems starts appearing.. Come to think of it, i don't think we know one another well enough to know if we're perfect for each other.. Of course, the first few weeks of relationship is sweet as it's the 'honeymoon period' but after that, problems after problems started to pile up and it's so huge that someone have to end it.. I have my attitude problems and my tantrums, while he.. Just plain egoistic.. What's done is done you know.. Whatever, get over it..

I don't know about you girls, but i DO NOT want to be with someone who have no more feelings for me.. Even if he says he's TRYING his best to fix US, once someones feelings have changed towards you, there's is NO point in even TRYING.. You get what i mean? Yeah okay so he have his issues to work on, but it's selfish for him to make me wait when he offers no explanations as to WHY he's acting that way.. I wouldn't put the whole blame on him anyway, cause i guess it is too my fault..

Anywayz, i think it's no secret anymore that me and Angel are no longer together.. I mean, with both of us being stubborn it's bound to happen right? Of course i was sad.. Did i cry? Let's be honest, which girl wouldn't? Yeah i did, for about TEN SECONDS and after that i was surprisingly alright.. I do miss him and think about him sometimes but i keep myself busy from having those kinda thoughts.. "What's the point of thinking about him when you know he's not doing the same thing?" Keep that in mind and you'll be fine.. Hey, I'm feeling great with all my friend around me, giving me support.. Seriously though, i don't think the relationship is long enough to have an impact on me.. I thought i will feel devastated and crushed, but well, I'm not.. Thank you very much friends..

Been going out late at night for the past few days.. Just hanging out with Ryan and the rest of the gang.. Well, I've been talking about Ryan right.. This hot guy with tattoos and piercings.. Big, tall, good with hands and got good tongue.. Haha, yeah the guy that like me.. Well i like him too actually but the reason why i rejected him is because i treasure the friendship too much to risk losing it.. I mean, if we ever breaks up, i don't think the friendship will ever be the same.. Agreed? But i think i should give him the date i promised him that is long overdue.. "Yes Ryan, i accept your date.. Surprise me okay! You know how i LOVE surprises.." Haha he's pretty cheeky too.. He knows how i love playing with ice and that my neck is my weakest spot.. "Okay Ryan, i admit it.. I love the thing you did.." Yeah, he actually have ice in his mouth when he was nibbling and biting on my neck.. Haha, the sensation just flows down your spine and it's a nice feeling.. Girls you get what i mean? Tee hee..

Went to my cousin house for break fast yesterday.. After break fast, we were just chilling and talking.. I loved what Lisa (my cousin's girlfriend) did to her hair! Violet told me to do it too since my hair is all layered and stuffs, but i refused to colour my hair again! I used to have jet black hair but I've been colouring it so much that my black hair just refused to return.. Regret colouring it man! Sheesh! Anyway, Violet called me 'belo' cause i tried to straighten my already super straight hair.. I was like "Eh, why no difference.." The answer was so obvious and that was why i got called 'retarded' by my cousin.. After that played Monopoly and watch 'Prison Break' before i went home to chill with myself.. Haha

My friends are the best.. Firstly i would of course like to thank Sally! She's the best.. She's the first one there for me to talk to and actually listened to me cried.. "Welcome to the club.. AGAIN", she said.. Truth be told, I'm so glad to be in the club again and i may actually gonna be in there for quite a while.. Haha.. "Sally Sally, you're the only person who actually convinced me that being single is so much better.." Well, what more can i ask for.. I have a girlfriend who will never complain about me bitching about the same guy problems over and over again.. Who's actually there comforting me even if it's like two in the morning.. "Love you Sally!"

OJ and Violet.. Of course, my two favourite cousins.. OJ is actually my cousin's boyfriend but they're always together that i practically thought of him as my 'cousin-in-law'.. I think they should just get married since they're hopelessly in love with each other.. Haha, weird..
OJ is a great guy.. "You rock lah dude!" He knows that I'm actually looking for that perfect someone who will sweep me off my feet, but he made a very good point.. "Don't look for it, just let it happen.." He's actually right you know.. I think the more you keep looking for 'THE ONE', the longer it will take for you to find him.. Well, I'm not looking alright but I'll definitely keep my eyes open for that potential 'Sir KillsAlot'.. "Thanx eh dude for rubbing it in my face, about me screwing up my relationship with Mikael.."

Mikael is my ex.. I have to say he is a much better boyfriend to me than Angel ever was.. I did the stupidest mistake by fucking up the relationship.. He's being the nicest by forgiving me and still treat me like a bestfriend.. He's a perfect boyfriend actually, only on occasion where he'll pick soccer and friends over you but it's totally not his fault.. Past relationship aside, he's a really great friend.. Even now, he'll listen to my problems without judging.. "Thanx for accompanying me the other night when i just needed someone to be by my side.. You were there, no complains, no whatsoever.."

Boi, he'll make me laugh no matter how screwed up i feel inside.. Even though his jokes are most of the time lame, it's fun just to laugh AT him.. He's ALWAYS with his 'sendok' joke, and he can be a little deaf sometimes.. When i say something, he'll hear another thing.. "Hey, how's your brother? Haha, kidding kidding.." He thinks I'm crazy.. Crazy as in mental hospital crazy.. You see, whenever the conversation became a little quiet, i began to laugh for no apparent reason.. I think he's scared of me.. Anywayz, thanx Boi for making me laugh..

Well my life is actually very blessed.. Should be grateful for it.. Hate to admit it, but i love my life even though how dysfunctional it is..

All names have been changed to protect the identity of the innocents.. Haha, love you guys!