The hands of time stripped youth from our bodies, and we fade

You know, I'm just wondering. All these famous people dying, getting one whole newspaper dedicated to them.

I find it kinda unnecessary. No offence to all celebrities who just passes away, my condolences goes out to the family.

I don't know, I'm just thinking. So what? So what if they died. Death is part of nature and it's nice to just embrace that.

Wait, I'm not making sense. What I'm saying is, is it really necessary to make headlines of these people's deaths? You know, it doesn't make a difference to anybody (except their families of course) if Heath ledger or Lydia Lum die.

Okay, my point is that why do they have to make a big deal out of everything useless, you know. You don't see them talking about that old lady that died of starvation, or those kids that froze to death, you know, things that actually make a difference in normal people's life.

Yeah, so the best Hollywood actor died, boo hoo, get over it. Now what? Does it really matter?

To be honest, i have no idea where I'm going with this. Just that all these people dying made me question about my life a little.

Have i actually, ever, made a difference? Have i done anything to make people remember my name? Yeah sure, i do some volunteer work, but izzit really enough to change things? Will you guys miss me when I'm gone? What will people say at my funeral? will anybody even come? And if they do, izzit really because they care about me or just to see if I'm really gone?

Do people think about all these, or izzit just me? Haha, don't bother about me, it's just another one of my gloomy days.

So let me ask you, if i die, will you guys think of me?

Talking about Death made me shudder in my seat, or probably that's just the air-conditioning.

So, before i die, do any of you have something to say to me?

I have something to say to some people just incase it's too late for anything.

Daddy-
You are my role model. You took care of me when i was growing up. You were there when i just needed someone to pay attention to me. You are the one person that i really look up to and although i don't say this often, i just wanna say from the bottom of my heart that i really love you. Your love is the purest form of affection and nobody is comparable to you. Oh Daddy, please stop smoking! Tee hee

Mummy-
To be honest, i did blame you for the breaking up of our family. I hated you when you made Daddy cry but i was young then. Now that I'm older, i understand (although i don't approve of it) why you do the things you did. I know you try so hard to make up to me for all the times we lost while you were busy working but believe me Mummy, i don't blame you anymore. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Maz-
Thank you for all the encouragements you've given me. Thank you for giving me the push that i need and most importantly, thanx for all the support all these years.

Violet and Hazel-
I really don't know what to say to the both of you. All the thanks in the world wouldn't even come close to saying how grateful i am that i have you both to lift me up on my feet when i was at the bottomless pit. Both of you are my cousins, my sisters, my bestfriends, most importantly both of you are my confidante. It was hard for me to accept my parent's divorce in the first place but thanks for being there for me and being with me. Thanx for being the shoulders for me to cry on, for crying with me, for wiping away my tears.

My girlfriends, you know who you are-
I treasure our friendship because it was built on trust, acceptance and honesty. Thanks for being my laughter during my most darkest days. Thanks for being my light when everything around me just look so bleak. Thanks for the slaps in the face during my escapes from reality. Thanx for being there.

Ryan-
My bestfriend, my soulmate. You are the only one that know me inside out, you gave me hope when everything seems like there's nothing worth living for. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me, the only person i trust whole-heartedly. The person who pat me on the back and say, "everything's gonna be fine.", the person who will always love me. I love you bestfriends and i treasure everything we went through.

Sophia-
Even though the friendship starts off with a little white lie, i just wanna tell you that my friendship is still with you. It doesn't matter what you did, you realized your mistakes and that's the most important thing to me, that you come clean. You did and you deserve that second chance. Believe me, you did nothing wrong to me, and you're still a friend.

Paul-
You had me, but you didn't treasure me. Now that you lost me, i don't see the point in us being like last time. I'm sure you'll make a girl very happy one day, but that girl's not me. I've moved on, let me go.

Rob-
Why izzit that everytime i talk about you, i blush? It's so funny cause i keep talking to my friends about you. It frustrates me sometimes cause i can't be with the person i care for, and the people who really appreciate and treasure me are always the ones i can't get. Your name is the first one i look out for when i come online and i like how we always enjoy each other's company even though we talk about things that don't make sense. You make me smile so much and i know it's not an easy job, so kudos to you! Haha, whatever people wanna say go ahead, i like you and I'm not afraid to admit that!

To everyone else-
Alistair, Allysa, Arun, Mark, Eric, Bronson, Mike, and everyone in between! I'm happy. I'm honoured to be a part of your lives, just as you are apart in mine. You guys mean so much to me, and i really mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for being the friends everyone have always hoped for.

Haha, I'm definitely convinced that I'll die the moment i post this blog! Oh well, I've poured out my heart and soul to you, now it's your turn *smile*